20 Dragon Prince Onion-Style Headlines
These are satire.
Mother Of Dying Child Worried Life-Saving Dark Magic Will Give Kid Autism
Apple Of Father’s Eye Poisoned
Stars Gift Man ADHD
Timeblind’s Prophecies Always Arrive Two Thousand Years Late
“Dark Mages Are Corrupt,” Says Light Politician
Witch’s Hex Education Didn't Teach Dark Hole Of Corruption Could Rip To Other Dark Hole Of Corruption When Giving Person Life
Evil Leftist Woman Not On Right Path
Dark Mage Found Guilty Of Stealing Heart, Punishment Old Ball and Chain
Monsterfucker Marries Republican
Sacrificial Woman Takes One For Team, Lets Trolley Rail Her Instead
Sacrificing Spouse For Greater Good Easier Than Divorce
“We’re All Family Here,” Says Employer Who Killed Family
Company Offers Employees Resurrection Instead Of Bereavement, Health Insurance
It’s Not Gay If Your Knives Don’t Touch During The Blood-Sharing Bonding Ritual
Woman Accused Of Sleeping Her Way To Top Not Even Top Or Sleeping
“She’s Not An Asset, She’s My Unsuitable Heir” Father Says Defending Value Of Daughter
Wanted Woman Commits Dark Collar Crime To Feel Wanted By Family
“You Dumped My Sister,” Accuses Local Man Who Also Dumped His Sister
Chemistry Between Two Pre-Teens Waiting Til Marriage To Become Nuclear Explosion
High Council Meetings Suspiciously More Like Narcotics Anonymous Meetings
