#te carter

[thepaige-turner]

“This isn’t a story of great romance or of true love. It’s simply a story of being lonely and how comforting it is to be called beautiful.” • • I read I Stop Somewhere 2 years ago and it's still one that resonates with me and is one of my all-time favorite books. The story is so important and the cover? Stunning. I highly recommend picking this one up but be warned it's pretty heart-wrenching.

[andreai04]

“It takes a lot of things to make a girl, but breaking her? It only takes a few pretty words and a crooked smile.”

[fiercereadsya]

New Books You Can't Miss That Hit Shelves April 2019!

New April Books are here! Which of these new releases are you adding to your TBR?

[thepaige-turner]

Last year I read I Stop Somewhere and it made me cry and fall in love with TE Carter’s writing. I’m overjoyed to have received an ARC of All We Could Have Been and I can’t wait to start reading it!

[thepaige-turner]

“This isn't a story of great romance or of true love. It's simply a story of being lonely and how comforting it is to be called beautiful.”

I loved this book. I loved that it could say more about experiences I’ve both heard and felt without putting the task on me of having to find my own words. I loved that this left me broken and shattered and loved. 

[thepaige-turner]

ig: thepaige_turner

[thepaige-turner]

ig: thepaige_turner

[a-song-for-every-book]

Intrusive Thoughts for All We Could Have Been

song// Intrusive Thoughts by Natalie Jane

book // All We Could Have Been by T.E. Carter

------------------------------------------------------------------

TW: This post will refer to the OCD habits and spiraling thoughts of the main character.

Spoilers ahead.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm historically heartbroken Drowning in my own emotions One minute away from breaking down, down, down I'm always leaving empty-handed No one wants a heart that's damaged Only know a love that lets me down, down, down, oh

▪ Lexi has a track record of leaving schools when the truth about her brother's crimes comes out and the people she thought she could trust turn on her. When the past reveals itself to her new friends, they're quick to abandon her and add to the rumor mill about what "damage" she herself may be harboring. Every school year ends with Lexi stabbed in the back by people she thought she could trust and spiraling into reinvention to prevent the same outcome for the next year. No one can accept the real her.

Staring contest with the walls I'm giving into my intrusive thoughts What if I never find anybody to love Or I finally get the chance and I fuck it all up? 'Cause I can't get hurt if I'm the first one to leave Whoa, what if I get to heaven, and it's not even real And I die before telling you how I really feel? 'Cause it feels like hell and I just can't help but think That maybe love's not for me

▪ Lexi has rituals she follows, such as only wearing certain colors on certain days, and she believes breaking these patterns will cause something to go wrong in with her fresh start. (This behavior is never explicitly labeled as OCD, but I consider these intrusive thoughts of hers to part of an OCD ritual.) Other times she volunteered information to her classmates about her brother, self-sabotaging her fresh start. Because she's so afraid of ruining any opportunity for a new life, she closes herself off completely, locking herself away until the next school year at the first sign of trouble (being “the first one to leave”). All the negative reactions to her past lead her to believe that relationships, romantic or platonic, just aren't for her.

If you don't look too closely You can't even tell I'm lonely Even though it keeps me up at night, night, night, night Tryna keep myself distracted But I get all these awful habits Of listening to voices in my mind, mind, mind, oh

▪ Lexi is careful to keep up the facade of a "normal" girl with no trauma in front of others, but it's a complete one-eighty when she's alone with her thoughts and there's no one to perform for. She joins school activities and tries to build a new life to distract herself from the reality of her old one, but there's always the voices in her head when she's alone reminding her of her low record of how many days she's stayed in one place. She's her biggest critic, telling herself, "You ruin everything[.] There’s nothing you can keep safe."