It’s been about a month since I left this place, and I still find myself missing most of you. You were all a part of my life, whether we interacted or not. I grew accustomed to seeing you all on my dash and it’s almost like a part of my routine is missing lately. I’m not here to retract my hiatus, but I needed to share something important with you all.
For the last two months, my grandfather has been really ill. He broke his hip and then was in a nursing home. After that, he had TIAs (or mini strokes) and overall, it’s been physically and mentally exhausting. I spent nearly two weeks with my grandmother while he was in and out of the hospital and nursing home. I made sure she ate and went to bed. I slept on a really uncomfortable couch and eventually slept on the floor because it seemed the better option. I didn’t take care of myself as well as I should have, but stress eats at us all. Prior to staying with her, I had an uncle (I wasn’t close to him) pass away from a motorcycle accident.
Anyway, the point is, I’ve been struggling with a lot lately, and I know that this is just me finding a way to cope—to breathe—but I wanted to tell you.
He passed this morning at 4am. I knew it was coming. We all knew it was coming. I wasn’t there. I didn’t want to be there.
This is the man that has been a part of my life since I was born. A man that, despite all of his faults, loved me with all his heart. It’s hard, and maybe it’s my emotions getting to me, but please don’t ask me if I’m okay. It’s obvious that I’m not, and even if you asked, I would say I’m fine.
And please don’t say you’re sorry for my loss. You have nothing to apologize for. All I wanted was to let this out for those that care to read. I thank you for taking the time to read all of this. Knowing that someone knows is enough for me. I didn’t know how to tell anyone individually without repeating myself multiple times, and I know that most of you (you are all my friends in some form) don’t follow my personal so...
Thank you. Now please get back to your regularly scheduled rping (or lack thereof :3 ).