“What are your 3 favorite qualities about yourself?”
My three favorite qualities about myself are my intelligence (or: teachability, openness to learning), my altruism, and my authenticity.
I’ve struggled with self-confidence a lot of my life, especially about my intelligence—despite my grades mostly being A’s and classmates, teachers, and professors telling me how smart I am. I’m learning to embrace the ways I’ve been told that I’m smart, and to overcome the ways that I have been taught to think myself not so smart, too. I’ve been working to internalize the “growth mindset,” which is the idea that just because you haven’t mastered something yet doesn’t mean you can’t. Maybe you just need a more patient teacher, or better materials, or more time. That’s where I’m at with math, and I’m working myself up to really diving into arithmetic (where I’m pretty sure I got lost in school) and working my way up into algebra and/or statistics. I’m extremely proud of the progress I’ve made in believing in my intelligence and my ability to learn things I used to believe my brain wasn’t designed to learn.
My altruism/drive to help others is another thing I appreciate about myself. I do this mostly through Facebook group discussions, but occasionally in chat rooms and one-on-one interactions as well, where I take the years of work I’ve put into accepting myself, and establishing and reinforcing my boundaries and my rights to them, and the lifetime of self-doubt and self-reproach that other people are sharing, and try to help people not have to go through all the pain I’ve gone through to get here. I know it can’t all be circumvented, but I like to think my advice and experience helps people avoid some of it, if not at least be aware that those things happen or don’t need to happen. Like the meme says, I am being the Iroh I wish I’d had in my life when I was younger. If I can make anyone feel even a tiny bit better, I feel better too.
Finally, and I think the thing that ties the other two together, is my authenticity. It’s been a rough journey to get to this point, where I am unapologetically just myself. “I’m the me-est I’ve ever been,” I posted somewhere earlier today, and it is true. I’ve accepted aspects of me that I struggled with for more than a decade; I’ve accepted new things I’ve learned about myself in the last decade; I’ve given myself permission to have my boundaries, and to hold people accountable for crossing them, and to cut people off without feeling I need to explain myself if they refuse to respect said boundaries. I don’t care how they feel about them if they don’t care how I feel about things that I ask them not to do or say. I’m proud to be a language, machine learning, IoT, and radio nerd; a gelatin weirdo; a horror story fanatic; a low-key stamp and sticker collector; a well-oiled machine of routine with a 1500+ day streak on Duolingo. I’m someone who’s been through some shit and come out the other side pretty damn well, though who’s still got some breakthroughs left to make. I may sometimes be uncomfortable, but I am never ashamed.