It is no such wonder I chose a Blade Runner (end) title for Ryder as main theme, because when I look at him I always say to myself "You're my one true Cyberpunk (2077) character" — Now, Blade Runner basically is the foundation of this amazing yet dystopian future noir genre after all (I'm fan ever since I first watched it as a kid). Always found the music in the original movie tremendously moving and mysterious in a way I've never experienced before. And so is Ryder to me: mysterious and evocative. A book I had and still have to read, to find out who he is. If you do not know him, you can only speculate who and what he is. He's that dark anti hero character. His look is frightening and bleak. He stares at you until you look away. You may want to, but you can't stop looking at his drawing presence. Yet it is a mask he wears or rather is also forced to wear, because behind all this mystery is his true character safely kept for VIP only. The drums in this song represent he might be the dangerous sinister type whilst the synthesizer gives this overall beautiful and mysterious tune surrounding him, that feels somehow more chilling than dangerous. Yet there's still a hint of threat in that song because of its continuous fast paced cadence.
If you could see the world through Ryder's eyes, it looks exactly like in Blade Runner, a city full of neon lights but in a mere monotone way — darker, less saturated, even at day because skyscrapers block the sunlight down in the streets. Buildings built onto buildings, (acid) rain pours down daily. Ryder knows how this world, he was born into, works. It is reigned by corrupt rich Corpos wanting nothing but power absorbing every small independent corporation, reign over people, don't tell what goes on behind the curtains (cloning/human meat theory, soul killer and cynosure programs, black wall to name a few) — the rich don't care what happens to the normal folk. They are only interested in their money and consumption behaviors. At the same time Ryder knows what's going on down in the streets because he walks amongst them voluntarily. He sees the misery that is going on, people are poor, barely can make a living if they don't devote their whole lives to working for the corps. Humans become more and more synthetic, so much that the rise of cyberpsychosis reaches it's peak, becoming more problematic than ever as they can not control it anymore while rogue AI's reign the net, controlling an entire population (including himself) in a subtextual way.
I don't want to compare Ryder exactly with Blade Runner. His job is not to hunt down bioengineered humanoids. He's a merc who hunts down those bad for Night City and the entire world to make it a better place. He knows that the original vision of it was something entirely different and he's got hope that it can still be put on the right track. He devotes himself to this, as a merc, fighting that what he once was supposed to be too, but never felt like he belonged into: power-hungry Corpos like his father. Ryder's weapons are blades and he runs them into the flesh of his enemies — therefore: Blade Runner.
Another Blade Runner (2049) song. It is calm, yet still mysterious right from the start, lingering, single piano tunes make it sound threatening but also interesting that you want to listen further. Then it gets bright, and nice, warm even, turning into a beautiful melody.
Ryder’s personality is exactly like that melody. He doesn't trust anyone right from the start. But when he feels he can do that and decides to let someone in, he opens up towards you. He's not the mean guy, it is quite the contrary: he's got a heartwarming personality, a lower voice with a certain softness in itself that makes you wish he would read you a good night story. But this takes time, and you should let him decide when that time is.
Because yet that song bears a threatening moment towards the end: suddenly it gets awfully loud and sounds even alerting — Ryder's mood suddenly snaps. He gets mean even to a point where anger turns up from zero to hundred — it only takes a stupid commentary at the wrong time. Beware when it happens and choose your further proceeding carefully — because there is something lingering inside him that likes to have him angry.
A song representing a certain voice in his mind Ryder started calling 'Bad Enduring (&) Aggressing Sinister Termination' (program) or in short: 'B.E.A.S.T.'¹ at a certain point in his life because it is what it forces him to do: do evil (bad) — as he finds himself in a lot of situations he does not wish to act the way he does. It is constantly (enduring) haunting him. It happens in a very assaulting (aggressing) way. And it is scaring (sinister) him as well. It only ends with death (termination) for his opponent while he is lucky to have survived each time. He doesn't know how it looks (basically a distorted shadow with sharp teeth) and where it came from, but it is a daily and constant knock-knock that says: "Destroy their hopes. Perish their dreams. Rage. Revenge! Fetch me their souls. Hey! — Let me out! They harmed you. Kill them. Let me help you. Let me kill them all!" That song exactly does that: having a constant knocking-like beat. It never stops except for a few seconds accompanied by various other threatening dark and strange alien sounds that can only be found in cyber hell making you slowly go crazy.
Ryder is dealing with this almost daily. It never lets him alone, since it first showed up in 2070 and took a part of control when he had his first outburst. He noticed that his anger grew as soon as he moved to Night City and it's gotten worse over time. First he thought it was because of the constant disdain he received from his family, but he is sure this plays only a minor part now, since he cut ties with his Corpo life about seven years ago. He assumes the source must be something else or the only explanation left could be he walks the edge to cyberpsychosis. The phrases 'I don't know what I am.', 'Something that makes no decisions has no choices.' stand for that Ryder can't really make his own 100% choice about what he wants to do and what not. B.E.A.S.T. always interferes and in the worst case takes over his body and causes death and destruction while Ryder is doomed to watch. Aware of that he chose to fight it even more.
There are times he is able to completely ignore it, and finds only peace when he is listening to his favorite music, passes out or is sleeping. He got used to living with it through the years, but lately (2078) it seems to have received a very strong update and it frightens him more than ever. It bears one of his greatest fears: hurting those around him he loves because he can’t remain in control. Ryder knows he's like a ticking bomb, a burden to his team. But Vijay insists that Ry stays part of it and promised to find a cure no matter what!
¹ I want to underline again that the rogue AI named B.E.A.S.T. is not my idea. It is part of VoidJester's story, we happened to work at together and I looked for way to include my boys best possible to it. Ryder is the AI's name giver as mentioned above because he describes it to others as that but doesn't know it is an AI controlling him. A fun fact: he could just frigging leave Night City and be free from it because it is only tied to it. Hilarious.
Throwback Berlin & Eternal Rain
These songs (and many others) stand for a passion Ryder discovered in Berlin: Techno(ise). Starting out first with softer melodic, more trance-like retro tunes (Throwback Berlin), nowadays he's more into the darker hard Techno(ise) (Eternal Rain), as these ear deafening beats give him the best thrill with the ability to stimulate his senses so that he falls into a trance only concentrating on moving along to the given beat and raves until his stamina completely fails of exhaustion. He does it for hours upon hours on raves longer than 24 hours. There's nothing better than those throbbing beats for him. Not only can he vent his anger through it, it lets him forget this mad world for a while, gives him freedom for the time being — it's just him moving along with the beat, It lets him be past, presence and future in one.¹
There's another important reason why his heart beats for those hard tunes: BEAT BEATS B.E.A.S.T. ! You can also say in a way he trained to hear the B.E.A.S.T. as some constant techno(ise) song. As a result of having a sort of Techno(ise) on your mind almost 24/7 he's constantly fidgety.
¹ For those interested: I will post a one shot one day where Ryder explains in detail why he's so passionate about techno more specifically. This here is just a scratch on the surface in order to not get it too long.
They represent Ryder's battle/fight theme, so it can be seen as when Ryder is fighting yet still remains in control, slicing his Mantis blades through the flesh of his enemies while his Berserk operating system is active. It boosts him up with an immense strength and resilience, increases his melee damage and receiving hits only make him stronger and more powerful. The song is fast paced and goes straight forward making him eventually get into a kill streak. Since his blades are standard with no effect they only deal physical damage with a high possibility for bleeding and dismembering. Ryder doesn't make short work and sees he ends their suffering fast by exterminating with one hit if possible. He's got no Sandevistan but he's fast and versatile when it comes to running and parcouring and even dodging. His reaction reflex is trained constantly for years and he keeps his body agile.
Depending on how strong the enemy is, how long the fighting takes and how annoying they are to him, the chance to go literally berserk becomes critically high: he will slowly lose control with B.E.A.S.T. now taking over. It literally consumes Ryder for the time being and all he sees is red with shadowy distorted figures that are enemies and friends all together, while he feels himself falling into some abyss unable to do anything at all. That is when the song '2094' takes over: While Ryder's body turns into his total unstoppable berserk mode, his sanity is trapped, pushed away, doomed to watch everything from afar with no clear vision. He feels sick, often in panic and screams but B.E.A.S.T. ignores him until it got what it wants: rip every poor soul apart. The alien sounds in this song stand for all this happening until it lets go again (or Ryder gets hacked). It's almost you can hear B.E.A.S.T. now breathing, feel its digital breath in the net, too (about 4:30min in).
This song describes how Ryder sees himself concerning his out of control being: that he's a monster and a murderer. The lyrics are in German (I placed English underneath every line):
Dann steh ich vor einem Plakat und lese,
Then I stand in front of a poster and read,
Was ich getan habe,
What I have done,
Und lese und lese: das habe ich getan?
And read and read: I have done that?
Aber ich weiß doch von gar nichts!
But I don't know anything about it!
Aber wer glaubt mir denn, wer weiß denn,
But who believes me, who knows,
Wie's in mir aussieht, wie es schreit
What it looks like inside me, how it screams
Und brüllt da drinnen,
And roars inside,
Wie ich es tun muss... will nicht
How I have to do it... don't want to
Muss... will nicht... muss!
Must... don't want to... must!
Aber ich, kann ich denn, kann ich denn anders?
But I, can I, can I do it differently?
Hab' ich denn nicht dieses Verfluchte in mir,
Don't I have this cursed thing inside me,
Das Feuer, die Stimme, die Qual?
The fire, the voice, the torment?
Ich will davon, vor mir selber davonlaufen!
I want to run away from it, run away from myself!
Aber ich kann nicht, kann mir nicht entkommen,
But I can't, can't escape myself,
Muss, muss den Weg gehen, den es mich jagt.
Must, must go the way it chases me.
Muss rennnen, rennen endlose Straßen...
Must run, run down endless streets...
Ich will weg, ich will weg...
I want to get away, I want to get away...
Und mit mir rennen die Gespenster von Müttern und Kindern.
And the ghosts of mothers and children run with me.
Sie gehen nie mehr weg, sie sind immer da,
They never go away, they are always there,
Immer, immer, immer!
Always, always, always!
Nur nicht wenn ich's tue
Just not when I do it
The lyrics do fit not 100% correctly as Ryder doesn't see his doing on news but more in how the voice of the speaker/singer sounds with all those emotions and nearly screming the lyrics. Ryder isn't proud to always leave a mess of pool of blood, organs and dead literally shredded bodies behind. Especially in the beginning it scared him a lot as soon as he is came back to his senses again. He doesn't remember what he's done, all he sees is the mess that's left around him. He got used to it with the years passing by as he learned to live with it, but still it does frighten him. He judges himself heavily thinking he's not better than those out there doing bad to harmless people even though he eliminates only the bad ones.
Ryder deeply wishes to be more like Vijay (you shall not kill; leave them for the NCPD). It's Ryder's greatest wish that B.E.A.S.T. vanishes one day the same way it showed up, so that he is able to use his blades with a sane mind instead of tearing everyone apart like a monster. He does not enjoy this kind of killing but he's got no choice, being unable to withstand the hunger to kill that the AI lusts after. Even V an't really help him, just make it stop to prevent the worst but not go away forever. When Ry's Berserk OS is hacked, he will pass out for an undetermined amount of time and be vulnerable to his enemies. So it can only be activated when Ryder's safety is assured and another team member can jump in fast to his side because Vijay is often too far away for him (Ryder's personal wish).
A calm song – another Blade Runner score as well. It tells one of those rare moments when everything seems calm for a while, presented by the piano. Yet there's still sounds wanting to distract. It stands for, that Ryder really wishes to concentrate fully on the piano, to take in its soothing melody, but has a bit of a hard time to blend out everything else around him. Some of these noises could also be done by B.E.A.S.T. to gain attention. The piano stands for Thyjs as well, since the soldier was taught to play piano. Ryder loves to listen to him playing. It lets him forget almost everything, balms his never resting soul. He never thought he would enjoy classical music either — only with Thyjs he discovers it for the first time. So these are moments he tries to enjoy as much and as long as he can. Thyjs is going to mean the world to him. He has a natural gift to calm Ryder down similar to Vijay before but in a different way. He is more than thankful that Thyjs values him all the way he is, not caring he's butchered so many in the most cruel and agitating ways. Thyjs can relate to that since he was turned into a killing machine trough Militech. Thyjs is the calm center of the storm capable to handle the hot-headed angry man Ryder is, seeking peace he will find one day for sure.
1998 – Kay Cee 1999 Radio Mix
Is a song I somehow started associating with Tommy Reiter (Ryder's first boyfriend) one night while I was unable to sleep but very sleep deprived. So, listening to this rather uptrance song via headphones hit me differently. Why? Because I see pictures of Tommy flaring up. It's like it catapults me back to Ryder's past.
Seeing him as teen (17yo) together with Tommy in various situations that are actually good ones! They dance to their favorite music, spend time in the fields, eat ice cream in the city on a hot Berlin Summer day, Tommy lends Ryder clothes so he can put off this stupid corpo suit after school. It truly feels like when you think about good memories of your own teens: Spending time together, laying on the bed on a lazy hot afternoon with your first boyfriend or best friend talking, listening to your favorite music, hanging out whatever you do. I think you get what I mean. But seeing those pictures suddenly can just hit me so hard it makes me cry bc I know it was me who made Tommy gone. I feel very guilty that I decided Tommy had to leave. I've never killed off a self-created character and I can feel the lump forming already in my throat while writing this down. If I had Tommy alive, Ryder might have run away with him one day, would have had a good life, never be infected with B.E.A.S.T. either. And after so many years Ryder still thinks about him and never stopped loving him. He took Tommy's last name as his now real name (Reiter = Rider). Tommy was the most important person who supported and guided Ry when he was in his finding phase. So I get VERY emotional now every time I have this song playing.
Tommy for me was a 'Herzens Raver' – he loved technoise, tunes that sounded exactly like this song — uplifting your mood and with Tommy around Ryder had the best time, smiling, laughing and loving.Sometimes I sit, look at Ry's pics I've taken since September 2022 and think: "Ah, Tommy — if you could only know or see what your lil' shy Gilbert has turned into." Really wonder what Tommy would say about the now Ryder because he's entirely different from what he used to be – more like couldn't be. I've got no answers to that and will never have them. Tommy didn't know him with tattoos or any cyberware, nor the aggressive character Ryder got now. Also not with the name Ryder since Ry only started calling himself like this when Tommy was already gone.
This song, whenever I hear it, I picture how Ryder discovered the Techno(ise) scene for himself.
Mama, ich hab mich verliebt
mom(my) I fell in love
In die Nacht, in das Schwarz,
with the night, with blackin
die Kettendynastie
with the chains dynasty
In der Sucht viel zu tief
into addiction far too deep
Und Papa, ich will tanzen,
and dad(dy) I wanna dancedas
Schönste, was es gibt
the most beautiful there is
Haut an Haut
skin to skin
im Dunst der Nacht
in the haze of the night
Lust in der Luft,
lust in the air
vergiss den Tag
forget the day
Schau sie an
look at them
All die freien Menschen
all the free people
Tanzen — Das Schönste, was es gibt
dancing — the most beautiful there is
It's literally Ryder's thoughts.
His thoughts after his first rave when he was a teen back in Berlin, met and was with Tommy. Not only did he fall in love with that guy, he fell for the night, for black, for chains, for dancing — on the dance floor he felt free. And ever since he's addicted to it to this date. The chains are not holding him back there — on the contrary: they are his accessory (therefore I have him wearing curb chain necklaces added to literally every outfit when it doesn't clip).
The sad thing about it:
Unlike the speaker in the lyrics he couldn't tell his parents about it. Not tell them about falling in love for the first time because unlike a rich Corpo girl from his school it was some underclass guy — unroyal, dirty, not worthy. And the music? disgusting. cheap. At home he was literally bound in chains instead, not allowed to do anything but obey.
But:
He was tough and rowdy enough to have fun anyway, lying to them and sneaking out so he could be free for a while. He always went to Tommy's place and lent his stuff so he could be free like him, dancing together skin on skin in the haze of the night feeling the first experiences of lust in the air surrounded by people who were able to walk freely that made him feel free too for a time being.
The song just nails it.
I'll make it young Ryder's favorite. All the memories he gets when this song plays again later. He is into far darker and harder stuff now but this fits so well to his younger self.
