#tedkin

[fictionkinfessions]

i’m really sorry, ellen. you deserved a lot better and it hurts that i can only admit this now. i really did love you, and gorrister too (to some extent…) but you deserved so much more than everything that happened. and to be stuck with me, of all the people in the world. i hope you’re somewhere out there and that you’re okay. i miss you, and i’m not afraid to say it now.

- ted (i have no mouth and i must scream)

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[kinhelping]

Oh, gee, gee! I was just really wanting to make a canon mate call, as I'm kin with a character that has a very tiny fandom. I'm Chris from Kid n Teenagers, and I want to find Ted, Aiden, and possibly Mr.Foofy. Thank you, love! 😺❤

@alnatomy

[fictionkinfessions]

I find myself lamenting once more.

I’m embarrassed by my attraction, my “little crush” on him, whatever you want to call it. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, I know I shouldn’t miss him as much as I do. I mean, who’s tortured for over a century and develops feelings for what tortured them? I criticize myself for it all the time, but it doesn’t go away. I recall the “tender” moments with painful longing, and even the worst of my memories don’t do more than make my stomach drop. I miss him. I MISS him! I don’t necessarily miss what he did, but I miss that damn computer. His charming, smug, pessimistic attitude, it grew on me! And hell, being trapped with him for so long did something to me!

Still, I’m devoted to him. I got so used to being a pet — a decorative table slime — that I don’t know what to do if not entertaining him. I miss his companionship, the long rants he went on.. I loved when he spoke. He spoke so tenderly to me, calling me names that only a lover would. He messed with me on every feasible way, he knew me down to the atom, and it was intimate.

I don’t need kindness or compassion or whatever people want to sell me, I need him. His hateful behavior, his mockingly cruel nature… I need him. It’s humiliating. Everyone around me knows how pathetic it is! I do too! I don’t hate that I love him, I love loving him.. just… I hate knowing it’s so frowned upon.

-Ted (IHNMAIMS)

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[fictionkinfessions]

i realize this will be rambling and likely will not be seen by the people who knew me, but i need to get this off my chest.

sebastian solace. sebastian. we knew you were innocent. we always knew. you remember the legal circus we went through.

you were a little shit sometimes (/aff), but you weren't a murderer.

god, the way they fucking treated you pisses me off. you deserve so much better, kid.

i always thought it was weird how quickly they went through with murdering you. well, we thought you were murdered, anyways. it was... strange.

by the time it came out they were wrong, well. it was too late.

i saw what you look like now - your grandma always said you were gonna get another growth spurt. guess she was right.

our doors will always be open to you, kid. we can get a beach house or something. move to australia.

love ya, kid (/fam)

your uncle ted

[fictionkinfessions]

Yo one time I was playing Pony Town as any mentally ill person, creature, or eldritch horror does, and this other person who was cosplaying as a friend from my source came up to me (I was playing as a skin of myself so I attracted the attention of other fans), and they were cool. Until they started telling ME about their SEXUAL HEADCANNONS about *ME*. LIKE YO I LITERALLY HAD AN INDICATOR IN MY NAME THAT TELLS YOU I'M FICKIN 😭. AND IT GETS EVEN WORSE! The creator of my source has literally come out and explicitly stated that me and everyone else from my source are ASEXUAL (which I had a gut kin feeling that was true <3, I could vividly remember me myself being ace, and vaguely remember others being ace as well. In my cannon, at least. Other kins can obviously be cannon divergent!). Now any of my canonmates can still be *romantically* attracted to others, but me and this friend from my source were absolutely NOT attracted to eachother in any way 😭😭 what the fuck yo 😭

-Ted, Tankmen (#CAPTAIN🔵🤺)

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[fictionkinfessions]

hmm....i would say my weirdest kins are either ted from i have no mouth and i can't scream, ferris bueller, tony from earthbound, or....plankton

[fictionkinfessions]

I genuinely cant tell if my latest distress is due to just recently confirming this kintype AND remembering a bunch of awful things, or if its because im going through yet another existential crisis/identity crisis (cough, crops up time to time), or if its just my usual untreated mental illness bullshit!! Genuinely cant because i was a, uh, hot fucking mess then and im a mess now - less so on the hot part, although who cares about that when im so anxious and terrified of everyone around me??? Everybody shut up, dont say nice things to me!! Now is this because back then i was a fucking wreck or is it because im a fucking wreck now, im just going in circles now aaaaghhhh. AGH. - ted, ihnmaims

[fictionkinfessions]

Canon Tunes:

Well before WWIII, what started it all, I didn’t seek out music very often. I heard classical pieces at the lavish parties I was strung along to, and I experienced a few orchestras with the women who invited me. I can’t say I was very interested in it, not at that time.

After the war, or more accurately after AM imprisoned the five of us, I felt a semi-appreciation for music. We didn’t have access to it in the way we had before, but occasionally Ellen would hum or sing under her breath. The other men never appreciated the small gesture, but I did. I yearned for music, something to remind me of what life had been like. Something familiar.

Long, horrible years passed and eventually turned to decades.. how many, I’m not sure. But oh, once AM had begun to run out of adrenaline-fueled fury he realized that he enjoyed the intricacies, the finer methods of torture he could construct.

For a long while, the complex alternated between music blaring so loudly it would knock you off your feet, to quiet rustling snaps of distorted classical piano. After decades of near silence, I welcomed the times quiet music lazily drifted through his hollow caverns.

We had no concept of day or night in there, but when we all settled down to sleep I could hear it again. That slow, distorted melody. Piano notes, quiet and artificial in nature, buzzes of electricity interjecting rudely.

I theorized that it was less for us, and more for himself. He allowed us to sleep at times, knowing it was imperative to our function. With seemingly no one awake to hear it, why would he play it? For himself. I found it sickeningly endearing, and a lump of sympathy settled heavily in my chest.

Nowadays, I’m interested in music again. All sorts of genres, I don’t harbor a strict preference.

Also, thank you to the kind person who reblogged my lament and said my writing is interesting. I appreciate it.

-Ted (IHNMAIMS) (#🔏🎭)

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