Have I Fallen Out of Love?
Axel Syrios x Gender Neutral Reader Fanfic (some mentions of Altare and Bettel)
In which the reader has a crush on the class clown, Axel Syrios.
For some reason Axel was a constant in your life. Not in a sweet way but more of a “Why is this mother fucker always here?” type of way. Grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to the same school, parents knew each other, had playdates with your siblings, the works. It’s a mystery as to why you guys never became super close. Although not much of a mystery if you were honest to yourself. You liked him ever since but because your defense mechanism was avoidance you guys never even bonded. So many pictures of you together but in each one you guys were as far apart as you could be.
Things were civil between you two, it was never awkward and you enjoyed each others' company. Silence was comfortable and tolerable but never something both of you wanted. You kept quiet about your feelings, nothing really good would come out of confessing. In your mind anyways. See, you always thought about the negative, “what if we break up, wouldn’t it be awkward?” when you weren’t even a couple in the first place. Friends always teased you about your crush on him but you were serious about not saying anything and always kept a cool when Axel was there. In your mind you’ve made up countless scenarios and reasons as to why you shouldn’t date him or like him for the matter.
Now you’re in your third year of highschool, silently gazing at Axel laughing with his friends.
“He’s so cute”, you mutter.
Your gaze shifts to his friends, Altare and Bettel. Quite the handsome young men too. Bettel is also known as the Jester in the class. Handsome, funny, quirky. Altare on the other hand is well known around the school for being someone reliable, the role model for many younger students. His smile and giggles had girls from the other rooms swooning. It would honestly be easier to have a crush on either of them. It wouldn’t be something you’d have to overthink about. No prior connection, no one affected if any of you broke up with each other. You shake your head giggling to yourself a little. Always the one to get ahead of themselves. You barely even know them and you’re already thinking about scenarios in your head.
“S-stop! There is nothing to talk about anyways”, says Axel as he tries to cover his blushing face.
Oh. He likes someone.
You think to yourself. Your gaze shifts back to the trio.
“Pshhh. Stop lying to yourself, Axel. Everyone in the whole school knows” Altare says, adding fuel to fire.
Everyone knows? Am I part of ‘everyone’?
You gaze out the window, sighing defeatedly as you rest your head on your palm. Rethinking of all the people Axel has mentioned. Closing your eyes as you block out the world around you, flashbacks of all the family gatherings you guys both attended play in the back of your mind. He’s never once mentioned someone he liked. It was always an actress or a new waifu from games or anime. Yep, you have never heard of this person. If anything, why was it bothering you in the first place? Someone who never showed interest in the guy they like.
You slump over your desk, using your arms as a cushion.
Baaaaaahhhhhh. I don’t care anymore.
You tell yourself that it’s just curiosity. That you don’t care. Everything in your mind tells you that you’ve fallen out of love for him and thus shouldn’t care about him liking someone. Butterflies no longer fly around your stomach when he brushes the hair out of your face when you guys are all sweaty during P.E. No longer thinking twice if offering to hold your heavy book bag is something that all friends do or is that special. You're not special. Any childhood friend would offer to take care of the other if they had a fever, right?
Imagining Axel with another person, you don’t feel anything. It’s like you’ve programmed your mind to say it’s okay and that you never had a chance anyway. Have you fallen out of love?
While you’re grumbling to yourself in the corner of the classroom Axel’s gaze falls upon your troubled state. He hopes you didn’t hear the teasing. To Axel, his love for you is glaringly obvious. I mean, offering to hold your bag, brushing your hair away from your face, taking care of you when you’re sick? In his head he practically declared his love for you. But you never showed interest back. Well, you did take care of him but he never thought it was with romantic interest. Like, if you liked him why would you always steer away from him in pictures?!
Altare and Bettel see their friend in distress, look at each other and sigh. What a predicament. The oblivious and the more oblivious. Sometimes they both just want to yell that you guys like each other to get this over with.
They pat Axel on the back.
“You should talk to them, they seem troubled,” said Altare.
“Yeah. go talk to your love bird” teases Bettel.
“They aren’t my-” Axel says in protest when the two push him towards you.
“Just go!” they whisper and shout.
Axel can’t do anything but sigh. Giving himself a mild pep-talk before gathering the courage to talk to you. He flicks your forehead to which you say,
“Ouch! What was that for?” You angrily turn your head to the person guilty of hurting your precious forehead. Only to find yourself blinded by the handsomeness of Axel’s face. It was kinda romantic actually. His face right in front of you with a soft concerned look. The warm afternoon sun softly hitting his face. A soft smile adorning the face you know like the back of your hand, and–
“You okay? You look upset,” He starts off.
“Well, it’s because you–”
“It was well before I flicked your forehead, dummy”
“Oh. It’s nothing”
His gaze of curiosity turns into concern.
“Are you sure?” He moves his head closer, scanning your face.
Oh. My. God. This is the closest he’s ever been. And it’s taking everything in you to not kiss him at this moment.
“Yeah, positive.” You mumble, turning your head away to attempt to hide your blushing face. It’s the first time he’s got you this flustered.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah”
“Cause we basically grew up together”
“Yeah”
“And you’re one of my closest friends?”
“Mhm”
“And I care for you deeply”
“Uhuh”
“And that I’ve been in love with you ever since elementary?”
“Yes.”
“You know?”
“Wait what?!”
You turn your face towards him and he just chuckles. A big smile on his face.
“So? Do you know that I have liked you since…. The dawn of time?” A little smirk forming on his face.
You’re speechless, flustered, and can’t think straight. Face as red as a tomato.
Yeah you still love him.
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pls imagine blushing aniki he is so dear to me.
if you have any requests feel free to lmk! i'd love to try to write it
