He sees her behind countertops in the galley. He sees her trailing her hand up a spiral staircase as she looked oh-so-carefully for the perfect outfit that day. He even sees her in his bed sometimes, sleeping softly as a golden halo surrounded her gingerly frame. He sees her everywhere. He can't get rid of her. He had tried, once she was ripped from him. He screamed, burned up a sun, got as much closure as he could before deciding enough was enough and tried to delete her room. The TARDIS wouldn't let him, in fact he swear she had put her metaphorical foot down in his head. He tried again the second time she left, but only the doorway was deleted. He could still see the room on the map of the TARDIS, even though there was no way into it. He was sighed a huff, almost one of triumph until he regretted it and searched every end to try to get back to her. Try to get back to something that wasn't loneliness and despair. It was futile, he'd die alone this time. He wasn't wrong, he was so very right, but it was just as if she was there when he regenerated. Still seared into his hearts because even as the TARDIS was crashing he scrambled down the hall to look for her door and there it stood. He couldn't help but smile, the only thing breaking his out of his trance was the fire ablaze in the console room behind him. Even as he saw Amelia's round face he remembered Rose. He saw a flash of blonde before blinking and it all being gone. It was living in an never ending agony. He still expected her there. Two hundred years later and he expected her there. He was a mad man, this only just confirmed it. He watched Amelia come and go, River Song live and die, Rory sweep in and zap out. He stood and found a mystery girl, Clara, and poured every ounce of untouched love into her. She had similar features, he reasoned, they could be related. By the time he sneezed and became the next him that facade of love for her was gone. She wasn't rose, she never would be. No one was Rose, but it still killed him when she was gone. It killed him as much as it did Amelia, cracked a hole into his heart as he watched her body hit the pavement. Desperate attempts to get her back just reminded him of Rose, everything did. He loved her just as much as the day he met her. Perhaps he even loved her more. Clara left, was gone, off on her own adventure. Donna and Martha had faded long ago and sometimes he wondered if they remembered him. He knew Donna didn't, but he could hope. Amy and Rory were together, which was something. They were together and happy and that was something he could bear. River Song- oh River Song. She was fading in and out of his world like a bad pop song on the radio. Just when you think it was reached its peak and is about to die down it comes back again for one last haunting. One last good time, again and again. And Rose Tyler well she- was standing right there. His hearts sung for a moment, a beautiful howl of a wolf, as he gazed. She waved her hand, knowing it was him, before walking over. He swear he was going to have a heart attack, this is what old age had done to him. Then he saw the jacket. He was the way her hair was pulled back and the purple leather peaking out in the darkness of the street. His face dropped and stayed that way even when she reached him. "It's not me, it's him. Your doctor, find him," he rasped out desperately, maybe if she left quickly it would just be like ripping off a bandaid. "I thought you needed some hope." Rose said quietly, looking down at his lost hand hanging limp by his side. She laced it through hers. "Everyone needs hope." "Rose, you're gone. You've been gone so long and I'm so old." "I know," she whispered and touched his wrinkled face. It wasn't until then he realized he had tears in his eyes. "Do you want to know a secret?" She spoke again, looking up at him. "It's a good one I swear." He nodded. "I found you, about two weeks ago. I know where you are and what time line to jump to, except I found the eleventh you before that. You had wiped your memory after, but I found you and you told me to keep going. You told me everyone needs a little hope." He really looked at her now, his hand coming up to run a finger against her plump lip. He realized she was younger than when she first came back. He could feel her time line pressing against him and it was skewed. Her aging process delayed by the amount of time she spent in the time vortex and various antiaging serums she had collected across the galaxy. She was ten years younger, mentally, than when she came back to him. Ten years of Rose, waiting, ahead of him. "You're... Rose..." "I'm always your Rose." He spent the rest of the night with her, kissing her and eating chips. And when it was time for her to go it was just for now, just this second and she'll be back soon. She told him to have a little hope, everyone needs it. He told her he already has hope, he had her. She smiled at his old face and mind, before zapping off and back, back to him at some other time and place and he could never been happier. He had a little hope.