#tenderize

[sidsinning]

I'm going insane

[jackiestargazer]

Tenderize

Spotted your eyes From down below. Made me hot and sweaty Before the show.

You were up so high But you climbed back to Earth. I said, “Take me with you, next time you go.” Your eyes took me in then...

Broke up my Connective tissue!

Tender eyes, tenderize me. Tenderize me! Tenderize me! Hot and sweaty together, Way up high. Hands slipping, Brows dripping, Everything marinating Later, you pounded me 'Til I was soft. Felt so different, So good. I was aloft. Then you looked at me, And I became even softer 'Cause of those— Tender eyes, tenderize me. Tenderize me! Tenderize me! You were so hard, but I ate you, drank from you, Softened you up. Pound me, pierce me, Soften me up. No one does it like you, love. Soften me up with your— Tender eyes, tenderize me. Tenderize me! Tenderize me! I like to make you hard, gorm-shùil, Then soften you up. You're my favorite vagabond, gorm-shùil, Can I get you to stay? Can I get you to stay?

Words and Music: Ro Skirving. From the album Ultrarelativistic. (In the fictional world of Jackie Stargazer.)

The fictional band Degenerate Matter, the fictional album Ultrarelativistic, and the lyrics to “Tenderize” copyright me (aka MistyMountainHop, maker of Those ‘70s Comics and author of Jackie Stargazer).

Slim CD case TEMPLATE by nine2doubleJ   Meat Hammer Tenderizer from pixabay.com

[setepenre-set]

art by @hinatanara, posted with permission

fanart for Tenderize

[setepenre-set]

Set! You made my heart flutter and my lips smile involuntarily with a fucking chicken nugget au!!! Please please teach me your secrets

I’m very pleased you enjoyed the chicken nugget au!! :DD

also, okay, idk if you were serious about the ‘teach me your secrets’ thing, but if you were, then:

I think the trick Tenderize, specifically, is what I always call emotional whiplash–a sudden switch between the types of emotions being felt by the characters (and hopefully by the readers) during a single scene. 

The scene in the car is funny right up to the point that there’s this line:

“Well, it’s not as if I’d ever get to see you if you weren’t tied up and being menaced with deathtraps,” Megamind says, his hands tight on the wheel again.

and that line, the seriousness of it, the fact that the conversation has abruptly turned very personal, hits you suddenly, almost like a punch, yeah?

And the next part, where she’s trying to convince him that she really does want him to ask her out, continues with that seriousness, until you reach the point of

“I happen to like you kind of a lot. Please don’t hit that fire hydrant, Megamind.”

The sudden comedy of the fire hydrant line! Followed by:

Megamind rights the car again, and then his eyes go even rounder, a look of horror dawning on his face.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, stomach twisting.

Sudden angst! Followed by: 

“It was very destroyed. It’d be hard to get more destroyed than that, sweetheart. You’re drifting off the road again.”

Sudden comedy again as she calls him sweetheart and he starts drifting off the road in shock! And the scene continues being funny as he’s calling her Miss Ritchi and she’s telling him that he should probably use her first name if they’re going to date, and then he says her name:

(like it’s music, like it’s something precious, something to be savored; like the syllables are sweet, melting on his tongue)

and the scene is suddenly very romantic.

I use emotional whiplash in a lot of my stuff, but it’s especially present in Tenderize–I think because the whole concept of the plot itself is kind of emotional whiplash, you know? It’s a very silly idea–obviously, inescapably silly!–that is taken seriously.

[tumbler-i-hardly-know-her-daily]

tenderize? I hardly know her eyes.

[recipesmarketplace]

Can You Use Baking Soda to Tenderize Meat?

The secret to the most tender, juicy meat doesn’t just lie in the cut you choose. While marinating and slow cooking are two common methods to create more succulent meat, there’s a quicker and easier trick: using baking soda. Popular in Asian cooking techniques like velveting, baking soda can transform tough cuts of meat into tender, flavorful bites in a matter of minutes—all without any special…

Can You Use Baking Soda to Tenderize Meat?

[lofihipbot]

lofi hip hop beats to tenderize to