[as has been posted recently, bonecrusher's current location is unknown. most of the team is focused on the logistics about finding the hunchback, how patchwork'll patch him up if he's injured, how they hope groundrumbler didn't fuck with anything back home.]
[the ones who aren't thinking of the logistics, simply put all of their energy and mental health into finding bonecrusher, no matter the cost. those in particular being the other three corners of the love square {BB, RJ, FM} for mostly obvious reasons, and his older brother who's just trying to see to it that bonecrusher still lives; gravedigger.]
[gravedigger and terraterror have been paired together to search in southern america - somewhere around florida, i would assume - based on some hints gravedigger brutally and also metaphorically ripped out of an autobot soldier.]
[here, we join the two in a small swamplandish area, wading through water as they search for somethin'.]
TT: ...so, fill me in here. what was it that 'bot two days back told you?
GD: oh, nothing in particular. just the fact that bay-op's captured him and is trying to brainwash him.
TT: i take it that's why you haven't been talkative?
GD: tch. sure.
[movement in the area ahead. terraterror and gravedigger's combined attention are locked ahead, their primaries whipped out in a sparkbeat.]
...
[no movements. may have been an alligator.]
TT: alligator?
GD: can't be too sure.
[the two cautiously continue ahead, both decepticons on high alert for any more movement. terraterror's turned his light bars on.]
[every step brings a heightened sense of anxiety within the two. gravedigger hadn't been trained for high-stress situations such as 'stalked in the swamp by an unknown threat', so he's a little more on edge than terraterror is in this situation.]
[...hours pass. the sun passes by overhead, silent as it's always been. the skies darken with every minute. terraterror's light bars are becoming more and more effective the closer the night comes.]
...
[the only thing on gravedigger's mind at this point is just seeing bonecrusher again, preferably alive.]
[a tree creaks, as if it were being weighed down. the decepticons' attentions whip over to the tree in question.]
??: Friendly, friendly. D-don't shoot.
[A wounded Autobot soldier stumbles into view, collapsing in the dirty water of the swamp.]
TT: prove it.
??: Look, I don't mean any harm- [The soldier hacks up a bit of blood, their faceplate having been damaged by the local alligators.] -w... what brings you two here?
TT: looki-
GD: none of your fucking business, boy.
??: ...I guess it's too personal for you to reveal to a dying, nameless hunk o' scrap like me, eh?
GD: [approaching the soldier and digging into its back with his claws:] how do i know you don't have a direct commline to any high-ranking autobot scum?
??: K-knowing you Decepticons? Probably won't l-let me prove it before you kill me. I g-get it, just... c'mon. Let me rest for a bit.
[...an all too brief moment of silence is cut short by an irritable growl from gravedigger, whom drops the soldier back into the swampwater as requested.]
??: I take it you're... that one Decepticon's twin brother. Bone... something.
GD: smart bot.
TT: do you know where bonecrusher is?
??: ...He's not on any mainlands.
GD: any hemispheres?
??: Uhh... northern, I think.
TT: any more specific answers for us?
??: Look for Autobot defence systems around the Yukon. Optimus probably put down some turrets.
GD: ...yukon...
[the two decepticons think for a moment.]
TT: ...aw, fuck.
??: [The near-death soldier rights himself, leaning against the tree once more.] What's the sitrep?
TT: we've only sent one guy to yukon.
??: Should probably provide some backup, then - and good luck, as well.
GD: do you want to be put out of your misery?
??: No, thank you. I'll let the native lifeforms rip me apart if I don't die beforehand.
GD: mm.
[terraterror opens up a spacebridge with assistance from nebula over the comms, wiping his feet on the wet grass and wandering through.]
GD: for what it's worth... sorry about the aggression.
??: No, I get it. You're worried for your brother. Don't waste any time on me.
GD: ...alright. rust in peace, soldier.
??: Aye.
[gravedigger turns to leave, hopping through the spacebridge moments before it closes and leaving the autobot soldier to his fate.]
[ookayyyy sO. hi, how're you? decided to open a pocket timeline to tell a story that i've had as a thought in my head for a little bit. basically, if you don't want to read the entire thing: rocketjumper goes missing (...some...how?) and bonecrusher goes into a state of shock (well i meant for him to but he never did). shenanigans ensue. i got the original idea from a crime documentary, and it evolved from there.]
[groundrumbler, footmuncher, nebula and terraterror are sitting in the living room, playing monopoly. they're deep into their game when a very concerned/enraged bonecrusher rolls in.]
BC, holding RJ's hat in his claw: 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗠𝗬 𝗪𝗜𝗙𝗘.
[in reaction to this, footmuncher jumps into terraterror's arms, while nebula falls over and groundrumbler simply blinks.]
GR: well, when'd you last see her?
BC: in my arms, last night. when i woke up, i only found her hat.
GR: hmm. terra, how many missing person cases have you covered?
TT: uh... a couple, mostly as assistance. remember that time starscream (g1) first retaliated against megatron (also g1)?
N: oh god, starscream. what a prick.
TT: yeah, yeah. gave me a wicked eye scar, but it healed pretty quickly. i've still got the procedure for missing persons memorized, though. should i call barricade?
GR: well, bonecrusher here looks like he's about to slaughter us if we don't, so i'd say yes.
TT: alright... uh, boney, enough with the eyes.
[hitchhiker pops by, outside and peeking under the bunker doors.]
HH: heyy boys! serious time, huh?
BC: do you know where rocketjumper went?
HH: no, but i woke up with a pretty gnarly injury. wanna see?
GR: an injury?
[patchwork leans out of his office.]
PW: AN INJURY??
[hitchhiker fully opens the door, to reveal that HE HAS LOST AN ENTIRE ARM (left one). WHAT THE FUCK. [ahem] as well as this, his stump, abs and pecs are covered in scratch marks and leaking profusely.]
HH: pretty gnarly, right?!
PW: DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK? GET IN HERE. RIGHT NOW.
HH: [closing the door behind him] how're you gonna heal this, doctor man?
PW: i have. NO idea. but seriously get the fuck in here. you need to be healed.
HH: sorry for spooking you like this, guys. [he passes through the living room, and into patchwork's office.]
PW: primus almighty, what atta- [the office door closes, cutting his sentence off.]
BC: ...would that be considered evidence?
TT: that seems like a separate issue, bonecrusher.
GR: did he say he "woke up" with that?
TT: ...i may stand corrected. going to interrogate hitchhiker. excuse me.
[terraterror places footmuncher in nebula's lap, and gets on his feet so he can head into patchwork's office.]
N: [booping munchie's nose] oh look, i have a cutie in my lap.
GR: not quite the time for silliness.
N: my apologies.
BC: ...i think. i'm gonna go search for rocketjumper outside.
FM: you may not wanna do that, big man. the blizzard seems extra dangerous today.
BC: oh, fuck you. [with this, bonecrusher heads outside, closing the door behind him.]
[perspective change: living room ---> rocketjumper, 5 minutes later]
-
[rocketjumper wakes up. she reaches for her hat, attempting to adjust it, to find that it's not on her head. she also finds that bonecrusher isn't wrapping himself around her.]
RJ: huh? boney? where am i now?
[she observes her surroundings. she realizes that she's in an arctic ravine, surrounded by sleeping, feral vehicons.]
RJ: ...uhm.
[she attempts to stand up, only to immediately fall back down onto her ass, due to a broken hipbone. she grits her teeth to stop herself from screaming in pain. she attempts to call someone for help.]
[bonecrusher picks up.]
BC: BABE?? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?
RJ: not so loud, dude. there's a bunch of zombie vehicons around me right now.
BC: WH??? WHERE ARE YOU?
RJ: i think i'm in a ravine of some sort. have you got anyone with you?
BC: aw fuck, i probably shoulda got someone to help get you out. fuck. how deep down are you, do you think?
RJ: well... there's a bunch of hail falling down nearby, so i'm pretty close to the surface.
BC: i'll be with you eventually. hold on.
[bonecrusher hangs up.]
RJ: ...hooray for wifi. [giggle]
[with this, rocketjumper lays down on the floor, and daydreams.]
[we join roadravager after he was told about bonecrusher storming out of the base, and (in vehicle mode) chasing after any footprints or tire tracks he's able to find.]
RR: BONECRUSHER! COMRADE, WHERE DID YOU GO?!
[a very faint honk is heard to his 11 o'clock, and he stomps on the gas to get to bonecrusher before he does anything irrational. eventually, he gets to him in relatively mixed spirits.]
BC: hello, 'comrade'. why're you here with me right now?
RR: comrade, bonecrusher, you must recognize that this is a bad idea. we're both being pelted with ice rocks, let's get back to the base.
BC: I AM NOT ABANDONING MY WIFE IN THE SNOW, YOU COWARD.
RR: COWARD??? i'm trying to make sure you don't die out here!
BC: why? who asked you to be out here?!
RR: groundrumbler did! he got concerned that you were walking into a trap!
BC: well, too bad for him, because i'M PERFECTLY FUCKING FI-
[infact, before bonecrusher can finish his sentence, he falls into the very ravine that rocketjumper has found herself in. roadravager is barely able to stop himself from driving in, himself.]
[bonecrusher lands directly onto his face.]
RJ: oh, shit. boney. hi.
BC: ohmygodyou'restillaliveeee... you didn't tell me about how many zombiecons were in here with you.
RJ: yeah... there's a lot, and my hip's broken. sorry for worrying you, dude.
BC: s- what? sorry?? about getting kidnapped by a bunch of zombies?
RR: i guess?
RJ: oh, hi roadravager!
RR: hello, comrade rocketjumper! don't start moving until i've properly winched myself down there with you.
RJ: well... can't really move much at all, so.
RR: perfect! be down there in a minute.
BC: ...so. what've you been doing?
RJ: thinking, mostly. do you have my hat, by any chance?
BC: oh, absolutely. here you go.
RJ: [receiving her hat] why, what a gentleman you are. [she equips her hat.]
BC: oh, hey. here's our ride out of here.
RR: hello again. i've prepared for our cargomilf. don't wake up any zombies and we'll be fine.
BC: [snicker] 'cargomilf'. hilarious. anywho.
[bonecrusher, tiptoeing above the feral vehicons, carefully picks up his wife and tiptoes back over to roadravager.]
RR: дa, alright. hold her here for a couple of seconds, if you will.
[roadravager latches onto rocketjumper with a very aggressive amount of straps.]
RR: now then. will you be able to climb out of here yourself, bonecrusher?
BC: ...yeah. i wanna rip these guys apart.
RJ: that's... not a very good idea, i gotta say.
BC: well... i've got murder raging in my mind, could i have permission to rip these guys apart?
RR: ...you have mine, comrade.
RJ: yeah, alright. just make it out of here in one piece, please.
BC: don't worry about me.
[he gives rocketjumper a very gentlemanly kiss on the hand, and roadravager begins climbing the ravine wall. unfortunately, a bunch of the vehicons are awoken by roadravager's engine.]
-
[perspective change: ravine rager ---> the living room, 2 minutes later]
-
GR: this is a... very stormy day we've found ourselves in, huh?
N: stormy is an understatement.
FM: so who left the door open?
GR: i barely even got out of bed yesterday, wasn't me.
TT, leaning out of the office: are you sure someone even opened the door in the first place?
N: not really. hey, maybe those bastard child vehicons got to rockie somehow?
HH, barely audible: a good possibility!
PW, barely audible: stop moving so i can patch you up.
FM: last thing i remember doing last night wasn't... really anything important, if i'm honest.
GR: oh, no, please tell us about nebula buttfucked you while we were trying to sleep.
FM: . . .
N:
TT: with a strapon, or...?
N: quite the nosy individual you are, eh, rumbler?
FM: you gotta stop being a grumpy bastard about this kinda stuff, dude.
GR: and YOU gotta stop being so fucking loud!
FM: what am i supposed to do?!
TT: can we please not argue?
GR: too bad, asshole, i'm in an arguing mood!
[bunkerbuster stomps on by with a cube of energon. having just woke up, he's not in the best of moods.]
BB: oh yes, please argue. scream your little spark out. i can't wait to punt you across the planet like a tiny football once you're done.
FM: sorry, bunkie.
BB: i'm sure you are.
GR: oh, yeah, i bet you WOULD kick me with those massive fucking legs of yours, you annoying fuck!
BB: annoying, huh? after i've basically been ignored for the past 2 months?
GR: YEAH. ANNOYING.
[a very aggressive HONK HONK can be heard outside the bunker door. before anyone can react, however, the door auto-opens, and roadravager comes charging in with a rocketjumper in tow, braking so that he isn't able to run anyone over.]
RR: COMRADES! hello!
N, FM: roadravager!
BB: oh, hey, russian dude.
GR: great fucking timing. i was about to chew this bastard out.
RR: is that a euphemism for a blowjob?
RJ: also, PLEASE stop arguing. good grief.
GR: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, HUH?
[rocketjumper bonks groundrumbler on the head.]
RJ: calm down, you prick. fuck.
[everyone swarms rocketjumper and roadravager (besides groundrumbler, he's knocked out cold), wanting to know what happened.]
TT: hey, patchwork, how's the repairs coming along?
PW: they're done, why?
TT: rocketjumper seems injured.
PW: duly noted! hitchhiker, how's your arm?
HH: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
PW: okay, okay! [chuckle] you can go back to your bedroom now.
[hitchhiker rushes down the hallway with his new arm.]
TT: alright, everybody! unloading process, let's move! get back here, hitchhiker, you're involved too!
HH: FUCK!
-
[perspective change: victory ---> (the end of the) ravine slaughter, right now]
-
[bonecrusher is currently ripping apart the feralcons by the dozen, flipping over some and kicking through others. once he's ripped the last one's head off, he takes a hefty chomp into it and spits out an eye, as well as a one-liner.]
BC: dead meat, as it were. anyways.
[bonecrusher, now done with the feralcons, begins his ascent so he can get back home.]
-
[perspective change: bonecrusher ---> the base, once he gets there]
-
[groundrumbler has his arms crossed, laying down on the couch.]
TT: well. crisis averted, huh?
FM: i'm glad nobody tried to stop bonecrusher, tbh.
TT: it wasn't very safe of him to storm out into that storm, though.
N: sooo... are we getting back to monopoly any time soon?
FM: oh yeah, totally.
TT: i'm down.
GR: [rolls over] ...fine.
PW: so do you remember anything from before you went to sleep to when you woke up in the ravine?
RJ: not really. i was mostly dreaming about clouds. were you guys worrying about me at all?
PW: to be honest, we never got word that you were gone until bonecrusher roared about it an hour ago.
RJ: oh, i see. those rat bastards were pretty sneaky about it, then.
PW: i'd have to say so, seeing as bonecrusher was pretty angry about losing you at first.
RJ: can you blame him, though? i'm effectively a massive pillow! [giggle]
PW: surely not. it'd just be unprofessional of me to do so. now, how's your hip?
[rocketjumper stands up.]
RJ: perfectly fine. good work, dude.
[rocketjumper and patchwork share a high five.]
PW: another job well done. i'm gonna grab a cube of coffee. go get some rest, you deserve it.
RJ: will do. seeya.
[patchwork strolls into the living room, to find the gang playing monopoly.]
PW: monopoly? at a time like this?
TT: oh, totally. how's rocketjumper?
PW: safe to say, another job well done.
GR: good work, dude.
PW: why, thank you. mind if i hop in?
FM: this game is gonna be looong~.
N: ohp, be careful. i could make a dick joke at any moment.
TT: hah, nice.
[a very hoppity bonecrusher arrives, covered in blood and guts that aren't his.]
TT: JESUS CHRIST, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU??
BC: MUURRRRRDEEERRRRRRR!!! [genocidal laughter] ...so, what's going on in here?
N: we're playing monopoly.
BC: sick.
[bonecrusher rolls down the hallway, towards the bathroom. everyone else that isn't rocketjumper continues conversing in the living room. the end.]
[so, how was that? i think it went well. have a good day.]
TT: "how was footmuncher? was he alright? i heard he's great."
BC: he was alright. don't feel comfortable talking to you about it, though.
TT: "that's fair, one's sex life is a pretty private matter. sorry i asked."
BC: no, no, that's fine. anyways, how was finding the border of antarctica?
DB: "well, i used google maps, very useful so ive heard, and made a massive circle around the continent."
HH: "and we helped, of course. it was fun. wanna race, see who's the fastest?"
BC: fuck it, it'd be a waste to not race with you guys. hold on.
[bonecrusher rings up overhaul.]
OH: "roll."
BC: wanna race around antarctica with me and the new members?
"[overhaul drives into the general area from the water. naturally.]"
OH: "i thought you'd never ask."
DB: "oh, hell yeah, man. nice vehicle mode. where'd you get it?"
OH: "somewhere in... somewhere in texas, i think? i don't remember."
DB: "that's alright."
HH: "alrighty-ho! let's-a-go!"
[everyone lines up along the starting line, with hitchhiker and bonecrusher in the front, dirtbuster and terraterror in the middle, and overhaul in the back. naturally. he's fucking massive, my dude.]
HH: "3! 2! 1! ROCK AND ROLL!"
[a bunch of engine noises. everyone fires off of the line and the race is on. and now, back to bunkerbuster and marrowbomber.]
BB: "what do you think they're doing?"
MB: "probably racing around the border of the continent, looking at the three newbies' behaviors."
BB: "let's not call them newbies. that's not very dude of us."
this guy's name is terraterror, he is a terradyne gurkha lapv, and he is a member of the decepticon equivalent of the SWAT. the decepti-SWAT, however, has been disbanded for a long-ass time, so he's been looking for something to do. luckily, he's found the bone gang.
