Sorry if this is an odd one but what do you think each of the Papa's biggest sexual fantasies are?
Thank you very much! Keep up the good work. Love you❤️
oooo good one. these are my thoughts, personally (nsfw minors dni):
Primo: anything involving cock worship, I think. my man is canonically hung and, though he doesn't necessarily boast about it around the Ministry (not any more, he's too old to show off), he really likes when is partner is Into It. lots of kissing along his shaft, drooling a little as you whisper "oh Primo, it's so big...!" yeah, that gets him off real good. of course, when you're done, he will return the favour...
Secondo: no way he doesn't appreciate shibari. he loves trussing you up and hanging you from one of the purpose-built hooks in his room, studying you like a work of art before he gives you the most intense orgasm of your life. also doesn't mind being the one tied up either, he's pretty kinky. enjoys you putting his arms in a box tie so you can set the pace when riding him, also because it shows how much trust there is between the two of you.
Terzo: ooooo out in public. he really gets off on the idea of fucking you somewhere the two of you could be caught. pulling you into the confessional when he's on duty and bouncing you in his lap, maybe even when another Sibling enters in to confess... shoving his fingers in your mouth to quieten you down... he cums so hard his head spins. you can get him back though, slipping under his desk when you know he has a meeting and sucking him with such enthusiasm that his nails rip the leather arms of his chair...
Copia: my baby boy. my fav. he is into breeding. oh, he so badly wants to put a baby in you. goes insane at the idea of you growing round with his child, getting some sort of primal, innate connection to you like that. even if the two of you don't have the compatible parts to get pregnant, he still loves the roleplay of it. if you ask him "gonna put a baby in me, copia?" while he's inside he will lose control, fucking you until you're full, then fingering his cum back inside you, "so it takes, amore mio."
Perpetua: he is a creature, this is just True to me. he loves a bit of primal play, so long as you consent to it. chasing you down through a forest, knowing that you will be caught; his limbs are too long, legs too fast, sense of smell too sharp to let you get away. throws you down on the soft mulch of the forest floor and buries his mouth between your legs to scent and pleasure you until you're the one howling. only when he thinks you can't take any more overstimulation does he finally slide inside and let himself finish too.
pairings: primo, secondo, terzo, copia, and perpetua x reader (separately)
summary: it's 4/20, time to get faded as hell in celebration! how do the papas prefer to get high with you and what are they like when stoned?
tags/warnings: cannabis consumption (obv), mentioned alcohol and tobacco consumption, implied/vague smut, MDNI, not very proofread so apologies for any mistakes!
word count: ~1.6k
a/n: ive noticed that there are a lot of stoners in the fanbase so i figured i would whip up something short n sweet to commemorate 4/20 this year :D i hope you enjoy!
PRIMO
☆ Primo's go-to method of getting high is edibles. He's trying to treat his body with more grace in his old age and doesn't want the smoke to exacerbate any pre-existing issues he may have. But he still would like to participate in the holiday, especially if you will be joining him, so he has done plenty of research on how to make cannabis-infused tea. It's a process that requires much attention from him, but he's done it so many times at this point that he's actually grown to enjoy it. And it's always a bonus when you accompany him in the kitchen for some playful distraction.
☆ Because it's an edible, his tea takes 30-90 minutes to kick in which gives you plenty of time to not only plan how you will get high but also time it so that you both are fried as shit together. Sometimes when Primo needs to relax a little after a long day he will make his tea with stems and other undesirable parts of the plant for a less potent dose, but on 4/20 he goes all out and uses the actual flower. He has also figured out what other ingredients to use in accompaniment with the cannabis and has perfected the flavor to his liking.
☆ High Primo is very mellowed out and slow-moving, but also a LOT more affectionate. There's something about the physical sensation that comes from touching you that he can't get enough of when he's blitzed, and this can lead to rather… frisky activities more often than not. Regardless, his favorite activities to do with you while high are to read with you sat in his lap, tend to his garden (he feels so much more connected with nature), and to do puzzles (500 pieces usually, something quick and easy).
SECONDO
☆ Secondo, in my humble opinion, is a guy who loves to smoke blunts. As someone who enjoys smoking cigars he would absolutely prefer his weed wrapped in tobacco leaf. He would take his time while puffing it to savor the taste of it all, especially if the blunt wrap was flavored. He's taught himself to roll blunts and joints for occasions just like 4/20 (which is a Ministry-wide celebration, let's be frank), but he definitely prefers the former for sure. If he were to smoke a joint, it would be a spliff so he could still get that nicotine rush.
☆ There's something about the way Secondo looks as he is rolling his blunt that drives you just a little crazy. His brow furrowed in concentration as he wets the paper with his tongue and lips, nimble fingers getting the shape just right… yeah, you've got heart-eyes for sure. And when he actually starts smoking the blunt he looks so handsome, especially as he adheres to the puff-puff-pass rule and makes sure you get your fair share, too. What a gentleman!
☆ As both of your minds get fuzzier and fuzzier it becomes increasingly harder to keep your hands off of each other. Eventually you are seated in his lap shotgunning smoke back and forth with him, hands wandering and mouths exploring. It never takes long for you two to fall into bed together and see how far it can go. By the way, the blunt stays lit the whole time you're in bed together. He loves to hit it mid-fuck and pass it for you to do the same. When you're not having sex his favorite things to do with you while faded are to play card games, take a short afternoon nap with you nestled against him, and to taste-test new bottles of alcohol he's brought home.
TERZO
☆ Terzo loves joints. No question about it. The only thing is that he sucks at rolling them (he can't even stuff a pre-rolled cone), so he either leaves it to you (if you can) or the two of you will have to make a trip to the dispensary in preparation for 4/20. If you can roll, Terzo will not be able to tear his eyes away from you, admiring your handiwork while also falling impossibly deeper in love with you. It's endearing, the way he stares, and he makes sure to show you just how devoted he is after the two of you share a few puffs.
☆ When he's high, Terzo is unabashed about letting out the romantic in him. Usually he's shy about it, but after hitting the joint he's all honeyed words and sweet little kisses as he pulls you close, murmuring in your ear about how there's no one else in the world for him but you. He has a mint-condition gramophone along with an extensive vinyl collection and, when high, more often than not will put on some music and ask you to dance with him!
☆ He's oh so cute when this happens, whisking you around the room with one hand on your waist and the other clasped in your hand. He's a crooner when he's blazed and simply can't help himself from wanting to sing and dance! He feels very in-touch with the performer in him and relishes when you let him indulge in it after he's retired. The two of you make a lovely sight, spinning each other around and belting your favorite songs like there's no tomorrow. It's like there's no one else on earth but the two of you, making these moments ones that you will always hold dear. That being said, along with singing and dancing, some things Terzo loves to do with you when high are to watch reality television (RuPaul's Drag Race is a personal favorite of his) and to draw/paint together.
COPIA
☆ Copia is a bong guy. Something easy to use that will get you high fast is more his style, so they're perfect for him. He has a clear one with a bunch of stickers on it, some pop culture and some music-related, that he loves very much. He even has a grinder with a little rat on it! He also takes very good care of his glass and cleans his bong, bowl, and downstem so frequently they look like you could eat off of them. He likes the feeling of getting the cleanest experience he can while smoking and thus is very religious about when and how he cleans his paraphernalia.
☆ When high, Copia is a huge cuddlebug and will almost always ask you if you want to play with his rats. You can tell how bonded he is with each of them simply based on the way he greets them as he opens their cage and gingerly takes them out one by one. And his stoned little giggles as he lets them crawl all over him are downright precious. He would be so excited to show you the tricks he's been teaching them, but sometimes would fumble the command because of how high he was. Adorable.
☆ Copia is also a huge yapper when high. All it would take is one adoring look from you to profess his love for you and hold you close in his arms as he pretty much tells you the same thing over and over again, just a little differently each time. He's just so high and so, so in love with you. He also is prone to getting anxious when he smokes and that anxiety could manifest this way as he worries he doesn't tell you that he loves you enough (although you always reassure him that he does). In addition to playing with his rats, Copia also loves playing his retro video games with you and making delicious lunches/dinners together.
PERPETUA
☆ Perpetua, like Terzo, prefers joints as well. He also is unnaturally good at rolling them. I'm talking perfect cone every time complete with a filter at the end AND it burns perfectly. So, the morning of 4/20 he is rolling a handful of them for the two of you to smoke throughout the day. His favorite papers to use are the purple Blazy Susans and he prefers to use the RAW filter tips when he rolls, the magic taking place on a cute little rolling tray with a custom Grucifix design.
☆ When high, Perpetua loves to spend as much time outside as possible. He will insist on taking the two of you on a stroll through the garden so you can admire the handiwork of Primo and his ghouls. Before the two of you leave for this, you prepare picnic supplies (which includes another joint) so you guys can enjoy a meal where the weed makes the food taste absolutely decadent, even if it's just sandwiches and chips.
☆ To end the day, Perpetua takes you to one of his favorite secluded places to sunbathe where you share yet another joint together. His creature side definitely makes itself known here as he stretches out to full capacity and catches the warmth of the rays. And if you catch a shiver as the sun begins to set, he will pull you close against him and wrap your picnic blanket around the both of you. The feeling of your bodies so close to each other as you watch the sun paint the evening sky beautiful hues of red and orange is unparalleled, and you wouldn't have wanted to spend this day any other way. In addition to spending time outside, stoned Perpetua loves to spend time with his ghouls (with you there too, of course!) and snuggle up with you for some head scratches and stolen kisses.
How would Papa react to Reader having an inconvenient food allergy? (like tomato, or garlic, or pepper)
There is so much fanon about the Papas being pretty savvy in the kitchen...but can they pull it off gluten-free?
I'm sorry if this is too weird, and I don't know how to make this as nsfw as I'd like so thank you for your service.
terzo x gn! reader, copia x gn!reader, perpetua x gn!reader - headcanons
hi anon!! first off asgkaghas i think it's really funny that my trademark has become smut so much so to the point people apologize for sending straight up fluff asks 😭 second: i know what it's like to have an inconvenient food allergy. i'm allergic to pineapple which is honestly in a surprising amount of things that you genuinely wouldn't expect it to be in, so i feel your pain anon <3
asks for papas iii, iv & v are open! and if you like what i do and want to support me, i have a tip jar. i'm a broke uni student so any support helps me keep doing what i'm doing 👉👈
contents: general fluff, food allergies, terzo and copia being good chefs, perpetua can't cook for shit
terzo
okay this man LOVES to cook
it’s one of his favourite hobbies, and getting to cook for someone he loves just makes it so much better
he’s one of the people who Highly encourages everyone to try every single food at least once, even if they think they won’t like it
so when you tell him that you have an allergy, he gets kind of disappointed because that means it limits what he can cook
at least it’s not that common of a food, right?
right?
RIGHT?
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO GARLIC??”
this man is Distraught when you tell him that
this is an italian man, he has garlic in his bloodstream
he stares at you for so long that you think you May have broken him
this is quite possibly the longest he’s ever been quiet for and you’re starting to get worried
once he does speak, it’s in a very strained and broken voice
“thAt’S fINe”
peep him throwing out his dinner plan for the rest of the week
you know
so he can still get kisses from you
IS the type of boyfriend to make sure that your allergens have been nowhere NEAR your food when you go out to eat
he’s not risking anything happening to his beloved
copia
one of copia’s many love languages is cooking
he really likes being in the kitchen (whether that’s baking or cooking)
he’s always cooking recipes from his nonna or zia
whenever he has a bad day, you can bet he’ll be in the kitchen making one of his comfort dishes
his first reaction when you tell him that you’re allergic to tomatoes is one of shock and horror
squealing and clutching his hands to his face like you just told him you killed someone
“oh amore! that’s such a horrible fate!”
but he’s quick-thinking!
he realizes that he has so many recipes that don’t require tomatoes!
starts by making you some of his favourites
then he starts trying to make other dishes and substitutes the tomatoes for other things
until he makes a lasagna one night
then both of you agree that he should Never do that again and stick to making the recipes he knows will be good
it’s the thought that counts though!!
you think it’s really sweet that he cares so much to make the effort
especially knowing how many of his favourite dishes have tomatoes in them
get ready to eat a LOT of pastina because it’s one of his comfort dishes that doesn’t have tomato in it
perpetua
this may be a controversial opinion that might get me shot
but
i Don’t think that this man can cook
i understand why you would think he could!
but i lean too far into him being an Entity to believe in good faith that he can cook
so when you tell this man that you have a gluten allergy, he pretty much frog blinks at you
“baby, i can barely make toast”
“i can’t eat toast-“
“FUCK”
even though he can’t cook meals for you like the others can
he’s VERY attentive to making sure anything you eat is gluten-free
perpetua will double and even triple-check the package of any food he buys
when the two of you go out to eat he’ll tell the waiter that you have a gluten allergy at EVERY chance he gets
just because he wants to make sure there’s no mix-ups
it’s his way of showing how much he cares and how he wants to do what he can to help out
because even though he may not be able to cook, he wants to make sure that you’re eating right
and managing to avoid all your allergies
he may forget to feed himself at times, but he’ll Never forget to remind you to eat or to check the label on something
will also label any of the snacks or treats he has in the house for himself with a big ‘V’ so you know they have gluten in them
This is probably just me projecting but I can't get behind a Terzo characterisation if he isn't bisexual.
He is so inherently bisexual to me. He wants to fuck everyone and he wants everyone to want to fuck him. He loves sex, thinks all bodies are beautiful and should be worshipped. He loves making people cum until they see stars, bending and flexing himself until he is their perfect lover, so they never forget the time they spend with him.
And then afterwards, once they have left him alone in his rooms at the abbey, his hotel room, his tour bus. Naked and still smelling of his partner. Smoking by himself trying to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest because he should be content shouldn't he. Sex is good, he likes it. He tells people every night to do it. It's everyone working together to make each other feel good so why is he always left feeling this way.
Anyway, he is sad and bisexual but he acknowledges the societal orgasm gap which is why he advocates for the female orgasm in particular.
Excuse me coming into your inbox and being unhinged, ibi, but I’m possessed by the question of which papa would be the best one to lose your virginity to and I’m curious as to your thoughts 😌
never apologize, that is exactly what my ask box is for!!! <3
let me preface this by saying that virginity as a concept and its social connotations are fucked and not anything the Papas would uphold seriously (doesn't mean they can't be kinky about it). sexual inexperience is important to consider though, so here's some... say, inspiration for how it could go... (mild 18+ but not graphic)
Primo
Something about the taboo of it, at his age, to be approached with such an extreme imbalance of experience. They joke about the Papas deflowering virgins (or, in some prejudiced circles, of sacrificing them) but the reality is that he’s a few decades too old for such things to regularly occur. He’d thrive off it, though, the little insecure glances and hesitant touches, the surprised gasps and shy reactions, all of which he can meet with the steely gaze of someone who knows exactly how to inflict pleasure beyond your comprehension. He’s not above using some little helpers to make sure he can keep going for you for as long as it takes to wear you out. This man is patient, well-aware you need proper preparation before you can even dream to take him, and he is not in a hurry anymore. He’ll grasp those moments when he can and it’s a gratifying experience for the both of you.
Secondo
Very conscious to talk about your limits beforehand. It is rare for him to encounter this, usually he’s spending time with people who are also experienced and know exactly what they’re looking for but in this case (as I think I showed in my fic) he would get a thrill from seeing you responding to pleasures you’ve never even dreamed of, especially knowing that of all the people he’s the one you trust with your body. He knows he is skilled, confident, also surprisingly a little playful with you to ease your nerves, and he’d spend a good amount of time making sure you find your pleasure before indulging himself. Patient as a teacher, but not coddling, he’ll show you where you can go if you’re feeling brave but there is never any pressure to go further. More than likely he will have lube and other little helpers there, just to make sure you’re not in any sort of (unwanted) pain. And because it’s rare he’ll let you explore more of him than he’d usually permit, those hesitant, curious fingers on him he does not dare to push away. It’s almost too intimate for him, really, and he’s going to feel more than just a little possessive of you afterwards.
Terzo
In my opinion, the Papa you would go to if you were actively looking to have your first time and wanted someone you know will take good care of you, but if there are feelings involved? It will be the experience of a lifetime. He is sensual from the beginning, the scene is set, candle-light to make you feel less self-conscious, comforting scents, soft sheets. He calls you sweet names, eases your nerves with a few jests and smiles. It will happen at your pace, he will guide but not as firmly as Secondo would, rather he’d let you come to your own conclusions with just minor prompting. He’ll patiently answer questions, show you the sort of touches you might enjoy and let you explore without expectation. He might tease you a little when you tense, to make sure you don’t take it too seriously, and he’ll show you what he likes to make you feel more proactive in the encounter, to inspire some confidence in you. Learns to read you well within minutes, and he’s creative, playful, very conscious of the trust you offer, it’s an overall perfect encounter that you feel you had just as much part in as he did, even though he subtly led you through it all with that vast treasure of experience he has.
Copia
It will drive him a little bit insane, I won’t lie, knowing that he’ll be your first. He’s aware virginity is a tool of patriarchy but also– fuck. It is hot that you trust him to take such good care of you. A lot of talking will happen, constant question if you are feeling okay, if what he’s doing feels good, if you want more or if it’s too much etc., and it is for his own reassurance more so than your own. He might be more nervous about this than you are to be honest, the sheer horror of potentially ruining your first impressions of it. But through it all you will feel comfortable, because despite the nerves on both ends he does not make you feel inexperienced but rather worshipped, like he wants to make sure that all the stars in the sky are sparkling behind your eyes when he finally makes you come. He is so into you, so so into you, the best thing about it is how heavily he reacts to your body, knowing you’ve never been touched this way before. You’ll feel high on the pleasure you’re providing him, drunk on the reciprocity of it all.
Perpetua
He’d be into it, I think, like really into it. It’s not that he really cares about body counts (in that context lol) but there is something about the fact you’re facing the unknown with him that is just exciting. He’d be frantically trying to make this a good experience, one you’ll want to come back to because he doesn’t do casual, really, and once he feels you he will want more. So he’ll be holding back, give you just enough, at first, but you wouldn’t be here if you were a coward, let’s be honest, he’s not exactly the approachable cute guy from next door. So, he’d be delighted to hear you begging for more once you’ve tasted a hint of pleasure. If you’re responding to it I think he would be a little mocking, not in a mean way, but trying to coax more out of you and make you see how good he feels and how nice it is to let go. “You can take more, baby, can’t you? Let me fuck you harder?” and you’d scream yes because really you can TELL he is holding back. He likes it passionate, he said, well, it will be passionate and there is no way you won’t be crawling back for more.
Soooo, I suppose you can decide now what you’d be into the most, I would be interested to know <3
While Perpetua has also got me in a chokehold since his debut, Terzo was my first Papa so I've got a soft spot for him! 🥰
What are some of your headcanons for Terzo in general and what he's like with a partner (both pre and post-retirement)? 🖤
Hey!! I'm so sorry this took so long for me to respond 😭 *begs forgiveness* but thank you for asking! 💜
I will preface this by saying that I don't know Terzo as well as Perpetua or Copia, so I'm sorry if any of these HCs seem a lil wonky! <3
General HCs
Comes across as caddish whilst on stage, but is actually quite a private person as a rule. Actually cares A Lot about how people percieve him, despite acting otherwise.
That being said, if he's single, he won't say no to people throwing themselves at him, all the while hoping for a deeper connection to find him.
Fairly insecure about his looks without paints, so hardly anyone has seen him bare-faced.
Deeply introspective, and cleverer than people give him credit for.
I can somehow see him as a professionally trained masseuse for some reason, which can come in very handy (heh) from time to time...
Prefers reading to watching movies; when he's on down-time, he can get through multiple books a week, and has more often than not been found asleep in a chair with a book resting on his chest, reading glasses perched precariously on his nose.
Has a MASSIVELY sweet tooth; chocolates and desserts are his two weaknesses.
Has two dogs, of the very small and fluffy variety who are his utter world, and he dotes on them as if they were his children.
Partner HCs (in his prime)
When you first got together, he thought you would be just another conquest; someone else who only saw him for his promiscuous stage persona.
But when he wakes up the morning after and sees you're still there in his kitchen, making breakfast for you both, something heals inside him and he knows that you're different, that you're there for him and not his title.
Spoils you so much in the first few weeks of the relationship. Like, a ridiculous amount. I'm talking flowers every day, buying your favourite things that you mentioned offhand one time.
But it gets to a point where you have to stop him and gently remind him that he doesn't need to buy your love, that he is the best gift you could ever ask for. Doesn't stop him spoiling you on occasion, though 🤭
Is über aware of spending as much time with you as he can, whenever he can, mainly due to his schedule as Papa.
Free hour? He can be found wherever you are; napping, reading, or even sitting in the same room as you if you're busy, just chatting to you.
Touring is hard on your relationship, naturally; you do argue. A lot, thanks to his stubborn nature. But you stay stable, keeping in touch with a mixture of texting, video calls and the odd postcard.
He sends you trinkets from each city he visits with a painstakingly written note detailing every little thing that's gone on; you keep them all in a special memory box that you keep under your shared bed. You go through them when he gets back, cuddled in his arms as he tells you everything he missed about you.
BIG fan of PDA, be it subtle; tangling your fingers together under the table at meetings, or overt; making out in his office with the door wide open, until you have to prise yourself away from each other before you get too carried away. 🤭
Just loves touching you in general; holding your hand, snuggling into you, or having an arm looped possessively around your waist or shoulders.
As I said above, he's wary of showing people his face without paints, but one night, he just comes out of the bathroom bare faced, and you stare at him speechless because he's so handsome.
He initially takes your silence as rejection and goes to cover his face before you snag his wrists and kiss him, murmuring how utterly perfect he looks.
Partner HCs (in retirement)
I've touched on this slightly in a fic already, but he's filled out since he's retired; at first he is very self-conscious about his weight gain.
Same with the visible signs of aging; going grey, the wrinkles on his face getting deeper; he looks in the mirror sometimes and mourns for his younger days.
But oh, how you disagree. You are sure to shower him in compliments every day, telling him how handsome he looks, lightly tracing your fingers over his face; the evidence of his laughter, his sadness, his anger, permanently etched onto his face forever. You think he's beautiful.
The same with his body; whenever you make love, you're always grabbing at every inch of thickened flesh you can reach, peppering other parts with kisses and licks as he flushes and tries to move you away. But you adore every inch of him.
He becomes insufferably cocky, almost back to his old stage persona as he realises just how attractive you find these signs of aging and how the slower life has affected him.
Slowly stops dying his hair, and when you first see his hair shot through with silver, you drag him into the nearest enclosed space immediately because you need him right the fuck now.
He has so much more time to spend with you now, and he spends his time learning new hobbies to keep himself preoccupied.
He learns how to crochet, and makes you plushies from instruction manuals that he presents to you with a flourish; they're slightly wonky, but you giggle and kiss him, telling him how adorable they are; you keep a collection in your bedroom.
He becomes very homely in his older years. He cooks each meal for you every day (trust, this man can COOK.) and he makes sure that you never have to raise a finger, as you're still working.
Leaves little love notes everywhere; sneaks into your office at night and puts them everywhere he knows you'll be.
Agghh, I could go on, but I think I've rambled enough; I hope you like these! 💜
It's Disability Pride month! In honour of that, I've decided to highlight how our beloved fake Satanic popes are disabled, next up is our beautiful clumsy man, aka Papa Emeritus the Third.
Clumsiness & Coordination Issues:
Terzo is known for many things, including falling down somwhat frequently while performing on stage; at least three times, he has lost his balance and fallen as a result. At a ritual during the October 2015 Beach Goth event, he attempted to kick a beach ball that had been tossed onto the stage by the audience, missed, lost his balance and then fell (and sat up and kept singing without missing a beat, like a professional). During another ritual in Herning, Denmark in 2016, he lost his balance and fell yet again, this time into an open pit on the stage, and was seriously injured (though kept performing, once again, like a professional); this incident is not entirely the fault of his lack of balance, however, as that pit was supposed to be closed. He lost his balance and fell on stage yet again during a ritual in Leeds, England in 2017, and joked about it the next day at a ritual in Glasgow, Scotland. He also seems to occasionally lose his balance while sitting down, as seen during a ritual in Kansas City, Missouri, USA, in September 2016. Though he loses his balance frequently, he doesn't always fall and in fact sometimes manages to catch himself and regain his balance, as seen during a ritual in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA, in April 2016.
These balance issues are a sign of bad proprioception, which is the body's ability to sense where it is in relation to one's environment, and how it (the body) is moving; symptoms of bad proprioception are uncoordinated movement (such as difficulty walking straight) and balance issues (leading to falling), both things which Terzo clearly struggles with. Proprioception is a result of one's vision, nervous system, and vestibular system working together, and any of these systems being off even slightly can lead to one's proprioception suffering. Another word for this sort of ailment is ataxia, a problem with bodily coordination; vestibular ataxia is one form of it, and the most likely, which I will expand on in the next section.
TL;DR: Terzo falls because his balance is, medically speaking, shit.
Hearing Issues:
Terzo mentions, more than once, that his hearing isn't very good. During a ritual in Silver Spring, Maryland, USA in September 2016, he says that his hearing is "really, really bad"; he mentions this again during a ritual in Orlando, Florida, in October 2015, saying "My hearing is not what it used to be". He talks about this a few more times, such as during a ritual in Montreal, Quebec, Canada in September 2015 ("My hearing is a little bit skewed and screwed."), and once again at a ritual in San Francisco, California, in October 2015 ("...my hearing is very impaired...").
As mentioned in the previous section, he also has balance issues, and balance issues can be because of dysfunction of the vestibular system (which uses the ears). Because of his inability to hear properly and having balance issues, I think there are two potential options: Meniere's disease and sensorineural hearing loss (SNHL).
Meniere's disease is an inner ear ailment, which can cause hearing loss and dizzy spells; the dizziness spells (vertigo) can come and go without warning and can last from 20 minutes to 12 hours, and the hearing loss may also be inconsistent at first (though sometimes eventually permanent). There is no singular cause for Meniere's, though being older (between 40 to 60 years old) puts one at higher risk, and we do know Terzo isn't young (which I will expand on in a later section).
Since Meniere's disease can be a risk factor for SNHL, it's decently likely that Terzo has both. SNHL is damage to the inner ear, resulting in sound being unable to reach it, thus hearing loss/difficulty.
While there is no known cure for Meniere's disease, there are treatments for it, as well as for SNHL. Terzo could have been using hearing aids, taking corticosteroids, and/or getting rehabilitation therapy when offstage.
TL;DR: Terzo has bad hearing, and thus bad balance, because his inner ears are wonky. Give that man a hearing aid.
Sight & Breathing Issues:
Terzo, at least once, mentions having vision issues; during a ritual in Phoenix, Arizona in October 2016, he says that he "can't see shit" and that one of his eyes "is bad". This a common sign of aging, however there are other causes, such as macular degeneration, which can occur in only one eye and affect central vision. This seems the most likely, due to it only affecting one eye, and it also being age related. While there is no cure, there are treatments (depending on whether it's dry or wet), including vitamin supplements (vitamin C and E, zinc, copper, lutein, zeaxanthin), anti-vascular endothelial growth factor injections, photodynamic therapy, and laser photocoagulation. Terzo could have been seeking either of these treatments.
At least once, Terzo has also mentioned having breathing issues; during a ritual in Denver, Colorado, in October 2015, he said "An old geezer like me have a problem breathing here". Lung function declines gradually at around age 35, which makes breathing more difficult. Indeed, Terzo is old, though mild asthma is also a possibility. There are many potential causes for asthma, so it's impossible to say just how Terzo might have acquired it, though various things (stress, NSAIDs, and physical activity) would be his likely triggers. There are treatments for this, such as inhaled corticosteroids, leukotriene modifiers, combination inhalers, and theophylline for long-term treatment and attack prevention; there are also short-acting beta agonists, anticholinergic agents, as well as oral and intravenous corticosteroids for short-term relief. Terzo could have been taking both long-term attack prevention and short-term relief medications.
TL;DR: Terzo has a bad and eye and he can't breathe super well, so he's probably doing meds about it.
Age:
As referenced in previous sections, Terzo is old, and the man himself admits this. He has also referenced this a few other times, such as during a ritual in Detroit, Michigan in October 2016 ("...we're not as young as we look."), a ritual in Malmö, Sweden in February 2016 ("I am not as young as I look" and "I need a little break"), and during a ritual in Los Angeles, California in October 2016 ("...because I'm not really as young as you think I am." He also says a slur just before this. Oops). Clearly, his age is catching up with him, leaving him a bit less energetic than in his youth, and as mentioned in the previous sections, also causing him some other issues as well.
TL;DR: Terzo is an old fart, and it's showing.
Depression:
In the July 2015 edition of Metallian, Terzo is described as a "frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself", as well as referring to him as having "wounds and darkness"; it seems as though he's not as inwardly jovial as he appears. The man himself references struggling with mental health, even admitting that he isn't always happy or chipper. During a ritual in Denver, Colorado in October 2015, he mentions wanting many things in his life, though recognizing that he can't have everything; he also mentions feeling lonely sometimes and needing company, and says this again at a ritual in Nimes, France, in February 2016. He also mentions, during a ritual in Chicago, Illinois October 2015, craving things, and thinking that having those things will be fulfilling, admitting that he does the same; he also says that "an empty shell is nothing", implying that he himself feels empty at times.
He also doesn't appear to socialize much (feeding into his loneliness, probably), outside of performing at rituals, preferring to keep to himself. In the documentary Ghost: The Devil's Hands, it's said that he shows up to perform, and then he's only seen on stage; this is also said again in a nameless ghoul interview with Loud TV, where it's also stated that he's a "recluse" and "travels on his own". This is said once again in another nameless ghoul interview, with Metal Injection, though he's also described here as "quite nice" and "joyful". So, he doesn't seem to socialize with his ghouls (or anyone) much offstage, if at all, though when he does speak to them he's quite pleasant.
He once had big dreams for the future, for the world, and himself; Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (aka Zbigniew M. Bielak) knew Terzo back when he was a Cardinal, and describes some of the ambitious dreams and goals Terzo once had. The Bishop described Terzo as "focused man of vision" who looked to the future and always kept the needs of his church's people in mind, and dreamed of "utopian metropoles" with large skyscrapers and zeppelins; a man who dreamt of a city called Meliora. As these dreams and ambitions never really came to pass, it would make sense that Terzo would be disappointed in himself for not making all of this happen, and thus having a rough time mentally.
As well, his relationship with his father probably set him up for these sorts of mental struggles. In addition to agreeing to have all three of his children killed off, Papa Nihil is described by Terzo as the "worse fish in the sea", during the Unholy/Unplugged event in Baltimore, Maryland in August 2015; this suggests that Terzo doesn't have the most rosy view of his father, and most likely for good reasons. However, during that same event, in the same speech, Terzo admits that the lesson of the song "If You Have Ghosts" was taught to him by his father, suggesting that Nihil wasn't a terrible father all the time (just most of it).
Fortunately, in a 2015 interview with Alicia Atout, a nameless ghoul speculates that Terzo probably had a "kinder mother" than his predecessor and brother, which probably offset the struggles exacerbated by his father, and instilled the ability to hope and dream into him. However, this clearly wasn't enough to prevent him from falling into depressiveness, as we know.
Luckily, there is treatment for depression, including therapy and antidepressants. Terzo doesn't seem like the type to go to therapy often, though he does seem like the type to accept medication for it. If he indeed chose to take medication for this, there certainly are options. He could have been taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs), atypical antidepressants, serotonin modulators, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), or N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) antagonists. Terzo could have been taking either of these types, though due to each having their own benefits, side effects, drug interactions, and contraindications, it's difficult to say which.
TL;DR: Terzo is depressed and probably taking some sort of meds for it.
TL;DR:
Terzo is clumsy and unbalanced because he has inner ear issues, he can't see because one his eyes is fucked up, he has mild asthma, he's depressed, and he's old. He's probably on a lot of meds, and he's struggling.
It has just occurred to me that Terzo is in fact a middle child. He's smack right in the middle of having two older brothers and two little brothers....as a fellow middle child....I fully support all of Terzo's wrongs, go king! In a world of older and little siblings, us middle kids stick together 😭💜
