whatever you do don’t think about your favourite Papa staring up at you from between your legs, utterly sex-drunk on the taste of you. don’t think about his mouth dripping with the evidence of your previous releases but him being insistent on just one more time, tesoro, for your Papa. don’t think about the way his eyes roll back when he licks, the groans he makes in the back of his throat as your body hitches, how his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips to keep you still so he can enjoy his feast. don’t think about how he could spend hours worshipping you with his tongue. don’t think about the fact that you’re his favourite altar to kneel before.
And what if I tell you Secondo is not bitter because it’s a fixed trait or somehow at the core of his being? What if I tell you that it's something unwanted, something he became? That he's bitter because he’s allowed the clergy to make him their puppet, that he did everything that was expected of him even though he more than often did not want to, only to realize that he wasted his whole life for them? That whatever expectations had been placed on him were heavy like the promise of a crown but turned out to be empty and hallow?
Raised for a single purpose, a short period of supposed glory, but still a time with no agency beyond that over his own body. Serving as he learned to serve but the price was not so glorious as the pledge made it seem. Shallow indulgence makes you feel good for a short time but you can’t keep it up forever. You fool yourself, the cycle repeats, but something inside of you slowly festers. The facade you draw hides the ugly truth and a life lived for others is a life of regret.
No, because at his core Secondo is soft and romantic, he is playful and unserious, he is loving and patient, he is giving and doesn't expect a return. But he was only allowed to show it when it served them, clichéd and staged for a series of clips, a glimpse at the truth through the eyes of others. A chance to push against the firm walls they raised him in only to have them use that to their advantage as well. It was never about the intimacy and connection with his followers, it was about the influence, the comedy that draws attention, to fuel the vengeance of someone else. Does he own anything when he doesn't even own himself?
He loves women, men, children, he loves his congregants. He listens and listens and listens. Broken, wounded and bitter. You can't break, you can't be wounded, unless you have a fragile heart that holds some love for the world. It's the disillusionment, the way reality slaps you in the face, the moment you notice the strings they dangle you from, the realization that you're not truly loved for who you are but what you offer. You can't be wounded, you can't be broken, unless you open that fragile heart to the world and let them ruin it.
pairings: primo, secondo, terzo, copia, and perpetua x reader (separately)
summary: it's 4/20, time to get faded as hell in celebration! how do the papas prefer to get high with you and what are they like when stoned?
tags/warnings: cannabis consumption (obv), mentioned alcohol and tobacco consumption, implied/vague smut, MDNI, not very proofread so apologies for any mistakes!
word count: ~1.6k
a/n: ive noticed that there are a lot of stoners in the fanbase so i figured i would whip up something short n sweet to commemorate 4/20 this year :D i hope you enjoy!
PRIMO
☆ Primo's go-to method of getting high is edibles. He's trying to treat his body with more grace in his old age and doesn't want the smoke to exacerbate any pre-existing issues he may have. But he still would like to participate in the holiday, especially if you will be joining him, so he has done plenty of research on how to make cannabis-infused tea. It's a process that requires much attention from him, but he's done it so many times at this point that he's actually grown to enjoy it. And it's always a bonus when you accompany him in the kitchen for some playful distraction.
☆ Because it's an edible, his tea takes 30-90 minutes to kick in which gives you plenty of time to not only plan how you will get high but also time it so that you both are fried as shit together. Sometimes when Primo needs to relax a little after a long day he will make his tea with stems and other undesirable parts of the plant for a less potent dose, but on 4/20 he goes all out and uses the actual flower. He has also figured out what other ingredients to use in accompaniment with the cannabis and has perfected the flavor to his liking.
☆ High Primo is very mellowed out and slow-moving, but also a LOT more affectionate. There's something about the physical sensation that comes from touching you that he can't get enough of when he's blitzed, and this can lead to rather… frisky activities more often than not. Regardless, his favorite activities to do with you while high are to read with you sat in his lap, tend to his garden (he feels so much more connected with nature), and to do puzzles (500 pieces usually, something quick and easy).
SECONDO
☆ Secondo, in my humble opinion, is a guy who loves to smoke blunts. As someone who enjoys smoking cigars he would absolutely prefer his weed wrapped in tobacco leaf. He would take his time while puffing it to savor the taste of it all, especially if the blunt wrap was flavored. He's taught himself to roll blunts and joints for occasions just like 4/20 (which is a Ministry-wide celebration, let's be frank), but he definitely prefers the former for sure. If he were to smoke a joint, it would be a spliff so he could still get that nicotine rush.
☆ There's something about the way Secondo looks as he is rolling his blunt that drives you just a little crazy. His brow furrowed in concentration as he wets the paper with his tongue and lips, nimble fingers getting the shape just right… yeah, you've got heart-eyes for sure. And when he actually starts smoking the blunt he looks so handsome, especially as he adheres to the puff-puff-pass rule and makes sure you get your fair share, too. What a gentleman!
☆ As both of your minds get fuzzier and fuzzier it becomes increasingly harder to keep your hands off of each other. Eventually you are seated in his lap shotgunning smoke back and forth with him, hands wandering and mouths exploring. It never takes long for you two to fall into bed together and see how far it can go. By the way, the blunt stays lit the whole time you're in bed together. He loves to hit it mid-fuck and pass it for you to do the same. When you're not having sex his favorite things to do with you while faded are to play card games, take a short afternoon nap with you nestled against him, and to taste-test new bottles of alcohol he's brought home.
TERZO
☆ Terzo loves joints. No question about it. The only thing is that he sucks at rolling them (he can't even stuff a pre-rolled cone), so he either leaves it to you (if you can) or the two of you will have to make a trip to the dispensary in preparation for 4/20. If you can roll, Terzo will not be able to tear his eyes away from you, admiring your handiwork while also falling impossibly deeper in love with you. It's endearing, the way he stares, and he makes sure to show you just how devoted he is after the two of you share a few puffs.
☆ When he's high, Terzo is unabashed about letting out the romantic in him. Usually he's shy about it, but after hitting the joint he's all honeyed words and sweet little kisses as he pulls you close, murmuring in your ear about how there's no one else in the world for him but you. He has a mint-condition gramophone along with an extensive vinyl collection and, when high, more often than not will put on some music and ask you to dance with him!
☆ He's oh so cute when this happens, whisking you around the room with one hand on your waist and the other clasped in your hand. He's a crooner when he's blazed and simply can't help himself from wanting to sing and dance! He feels very in-touch with the performer in him and relishes when you let him indulge in it after he's retired. The two of you make a lovely sight, spinning each other around and belting your favorite songs like there's no tomorrow. It's like there's no one else on earth but the two of you, making these moments ones that you will always hold dear. That being said, along with singing and dancing, some things Terzo loves to do with you when high are to watch reality television (RuPaul's Drag Race is a personal favorite of his) and to draw/paint together.
COPIA
☆ Copia is a bong guy. Something easy to use that will get you high fast is more his style, so they're perfect for him. He has a clear one with a bunch of stickers on it, some pop culture and some music-related, that he loves very much. He even has a grinder with a little rat on it! He also takes very good care of his glass and cleans his bong, bowl, and downstem so frequently they look like you could eat off of them. He likes the feeling of getting the cleanest experience he can while smoking and thus is very religious about when and how he cleans his paraphernalia.
☆ When high, Copia is a huge cuddlebug and will almost always ask you if you want to play with his rats. You can tell how bonded he is with each of them simply based on the way he greets them as he opens their cage and gingerly takes them out one by one. And his stoned little giggles as he lets them crawl all over him are downright precious. He would be so excited to show you the tricks he's been teaching them, but sometimes would fumble the command because of how high he was. Adorable.
☆ Copia is also a huge yapper when high. All it would take is one adoring look from you to profess his love for you and hold you close in his arms as he pretty much tells you the same thing over and over again, just a little differently each time. He's just so high and so, so in love with you. He also is prone to getting anxious when he smokes and that anxiety could manifest this way as he worries he doesn't tell you that he loves you enough (although you always reassure him that he does). In addition to playing with his rats, Copia also loves playing his retro video games with you and making delicious lunches/dinners together.
PERPETUA
☆ Perpetua, like Terzo, prefers joints as well. He also is unnaturally good at rolling them. I'm talking perfect cone every time complete with a filter at the end AND it burns perfectly. So, the morning of 4/20 he is rolling a handful of them for the two of you to smoke throughout the day. His favorite papers to use are the purple Blazy Susans and he prefers to use the RAW filter tips when he rolls, the magic taking place on a cute little rolling tray with a custom Grucifix design.
☆ When high, Perpetua loves to spend as much time outside as possible. He will insist on taking the two of you on a stroll through the garden so you can admire the handiwork of Primo and his ghouls. Before the two of you leave for this, you prepare picnic supplies (which includes another joint) so you guys can enjoy a meal where the weed makes the food taste absolutely decadent, even if it's just sandwiches and chips.
☆ To end the day, Perpetua takes you to one of his favorite secluded places to sunbathe where you share yet another joint together. His creature side definitely makes itself known here as he stretches out to full capacity and catches the warmth of the rays. And if you catch a shiver as the sun begins to set, he will pull you close against him and wrap your picnic blanket around the both of you. The feeling of your bodies so close to each other as you watch the sun paint the evening sky beautiful hues of red and orange is unparalleled, and you wouldn't have wanted to spend this day any other way. In addition to spending time outside, stoned Perpetua loves to spend time with his ghouls (with you there too, of course!) and snuggle up with you for some head scratches and stolen kisses.
Secondo is absolutely the type to furrow his brow when kissing passionately.. meanwhile tightening his grip on your chin and hip..pulling you as close as humanly possible.. just saying.
(This is the image I imagined the whole time while writing this 🤭)
I think that Secondo sleeps like a rock. He genuinely seems like a corpse when he’s asleep. Especially when he’s had a night out, which is often. This man has no schedule to follow,
structure fears him. He has no where to be which requires being timely, so he sleeps as if in hibernation. Actually, he sleeps most of the day away like an owl. Maybe waking up by 3pm to get ready for the next party. It’s full time job, I know.
He sleeps on his back, limbs spread across the bed. Sometimes he’ll rest his hands behind his head, but no other way but his back. Even if he’s sleeping beside a partner, they must accommodate his way. He’ll wrap his arm around your shoulder and let you rest on his chest. Occasionally he’ll be on his side to hold you if you ask to cuddle or had a bad day, but trust me, he is a back sleeper!
Secondo does snore—especially since he’s on his back—but it’s not like a chainsaw. If anything, it’s surprisingly quiet. He also chooses to wear none or minimal clothing to bed. Maybe a nice robe. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. 🤫
It’s difficult to wake him up. You could drop 20 pots and pans on the ground, yet he will not hear the clatter, nor will he care. If you both have somewhere to be in the morning, you’d have to pump him full of coffee despite him reaching for his flask instantly.
He would probably try to persuade you to let you both stay in. Maybe tempt you with ordering from a really nice restaurant, your favorite snacks, favorite shows and movies, and of course, sex. All the vices.
It’s up to you whether you have the willpower to ignore him, but personally I do not 🥹
There is a sanctuary in the Papal chambers, where Papa is able to worship privately or with a chosen few. The space is small and quietly beautiful, with minimal adornments compared to the Great Sanctuary where Black Masses are held. Primo especially loved to practice his devotion here; he adored the stained glass windows the most. He even had it renovated during his papacy, and his brothers didn't have the heart to cover up the earthy greens and warm colors to match their own aesthetics. Secondo was rumored to have great velvet curtains and blankets, but no one really knows; he never once shared the space with another person. Secondo was intensely private, even moreso than Terzo. Terzo brought in so many candles it became a fire hazard. So many, in fact, that he always took a fire ghoul with him when he needed to pray. Just in case. Copia, for his part, hand-crafted an idol that rests in the altar space. He added six unholy bibles, so that his brothers and two other guests could come in when they wished; Copia prefers the company of others.
I love drawing diagrams. It brings me such joy, I can't even begin to describe it. I hope you like this half as much I liked making it 🖤 Reblogging is always appreciated! Please do not repost, post to other sites, claim as your own, or use without permission!
It's Disability Pride month! In honour of that, I've decided to highlight how our beloved fake Satanic popes are disabled, next up is Mr. Worldwide, aka Papa Emeritus the Second.
Stamina, Strength, & Frailty:
In the April 2013 edition of Spark Rock, Secondo was described as "frail, but he's also too old to care", which suggests that he's not quite as robust as he used to be. As well, in Papaganda: Episode 2, Secondo himself says, while referring to the two women he's about to have a threesome with, "...with age, I have come to learn that you cannot please them all. Not at once." The man himself seems to be aware of his own physical limitations, though he doesn't seem to let that stop him altogether.
His limitations seem to be age related, and a somewhat common age related ailment in older men is low testosterone, aka male hypogonadism. Low testosterone can cause a decrease in strength and endurance (hence why he can't please more than one person "at once"), erectile dysfunction (though he doesn't appear to necessarily have that issue), and osteoporosis, among other things. Luckily, testosterone replacement therapy may be used to treat it, which Secondo was most likely on (if he wanted to keep performing and having sex), though its effectiveness may vary.
Since low testosterone can also cause osteoporosis, he most likely had that was well (hence him being described as "frail"). Osteoporosis causes weakness and brittleness in bones, which makes them more susceptible to breaking (even by only very mild stresses); new bone creation doesn't keep up with the loss of old bone, and so weakness and breaking occurs. It can be caused by age and lower sex hormones, and alcohol consumption, which makes sense for Secondo as he is indeed old and most likely has male hypergonadism (see above) and probably consumes a fair amount of alcohol (more on that in a bit). Osteoporosis can be dangerous, but is also treatable; calcium supplements, a calcium-rich diet, supplements/a diet rich in Vitamin D (to help the body absorb the calcium), medications (bisphosphonates and denosumab), and hormone replacement therapy can all be used for this. Secondo most likely took the medications (probably the bisphosphonates) and supplements, as well as the testosterone replacement therapy (see above).
TL;DR: Secondo is "frail" and "cannot please them all" at the same time because of low testosterone and osteoporosis, and was probably on the 'mones and a lot of meds for that.
Depression:
Secondo has been described as "wounded and bitter" in Papaganda: Episode 1, and as a "sad old man" and "grumpy and broken" in an interview in the April 2013 edition of Spark Rock Magazine. This sounds very much like depression, which typically manifests in men as sadness, irritability and violent behaviour (he once sicced some dogs on a nameless ghoul), escapist and risky behaviour (Papaganda: Episode 2 shows him partying quite hard, and he's been mentioned to engage in risky sexual behaviour which I'll get into later), as well as alcohol and drug use (see the aforementioned partying). This sounds very much like our dear Bone Daddy.
The cause of Secondo's depression seems to be many things, a few of which we can pinpoint. In a 2015 interview with Alica Atout, Terzo is mentioned as having a "kinder mother" than Secondo, which suggests that Secondo's own mother was not that nice; perhaps Secondo's relationship with his mother left a lot to be desired, and thus set him on the path for developing depression. As well, considering that Nihil (in Chapter Three: Back on the Road) allowed Secondo and his other sons to be killed off for display purposes, that suggests that Secondo's relationship with him left a lot to be desired, too; a bad relationship with both parents certainly wouldn't have set Secondo up for good mental health in his life.
This was probably further compounded by loss; during Secondo's era, Ghost did a cover of the song "Crucified" by the band Army of Lovers, which is about the AIDS crisis (according to an episode of a Swedish radio show on which a member of Army of Lovers talked about the song) and how queer people suffered during that time. It's possible that Secondo lost people he cared about to AIDS, and that loss greatly affected him and caused his depression worsen.
All of this would indeed leave him "bitter and wounded" and "sad" and "broken", and having low testosterone affecting his performance and health wouldn't help that very much, either.
There are treatments for depression, such as therapy and medications, though Secondo doesn't seem like he had been pursuing those. It seems more likely that he was self-medicating and engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, instead of getting any real treatment.
TL;DR: Secondo had a hard time in life, is depressed, and is not dealing with it in a healthy way.
Unhealthy Coping Strategies:
To deal with his issues (which are numerous), it seems as though Secondo had been dealing with it by engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviours; one such coping mechanism was clearly sex, and often not safe sex. In the January/February 2017 edition of MyRock Magazine, a nameless ghoul gives an interview in which he refers to Secondo as "a pervert". At the Unholy/Unplugged event in Baltimore in 2015, a member of the crowd refers to Secondo as "a whore" (in the context of potentially siring offspring recently) with Terzo replying with "yes"; at the same event, Terzo mentions that he learned where to get "the clap" (gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted infection) from Secondo. This all points to Secondo being very sexually active, but not being very safe about it; unsafe sex practices could be a way of him dealing with (or rather, seeking escape from) his depression. Since he didn't seem to experience any symptoms (such painful urination, discharge from the tip of the penis, pain and swelling in one testicle), he was either asymptomatic (which is possible), or he had this STI often enough that he could recognize it early and seek treatment before it became a bigger problem. And treatment is indeed possible, with antibiotics (such as ceftriaxone, or gentamicin with azithromycin) being able to cure it (if received soon after infection), though not able to prevent further infections. It seems as though Secondo may have had this infection more than once, and while he most likely sought prompt treatment for it, he probably didn't decide to be safer during sex.
As mentioned in the previous sections, Secondo seems to party quite hard, this probably extends to him drinking a fair amount of alcohol. Drinking too much alcohol can result in damage to the liver, resulting in something called steatotic liver disease, aka fatty live disease; the particular type of disease related to alcohol abuse is called alcohol-associated liver disease (ALD). ALD happens after many years of heavy drinking, and causes toxic fat to build up in the liver, which can then lead to inflammation and cirrhosis (permanent scarring of the liver). Fatigue (which Secondo shows some signs of, see the previous sections) is often the most reported (and first noticeable) symptom, though it's also possible to be asymptomatic for a while. Though very serious, there are a few ways to treat it, such as medications and avoiding alcohol. The medications used for this are often the kind that reduces cholesterol and triglycerides in the blood, which Secondo was most likely taking. He was most probably still drinking, however, as a coping mechanism for his depression.
If he was partying hard and drinking a lot, there's a chance he was also doing party drugs, such as ecstasy. Ecstacy (also known as "molly") can induce feelings of happiness, sexual arousal, and euphoria, as well as increasing energy; these effects can last up to 4 to 6 hours. Secondo was most likely using this to combat his depression, though molly can also make depression worse, as well as causing various side effects (though the only one he seemed to experience was irritability, and maybe insomnia).
Cocaine is another drug that he was potentially using, as it has many effects that would want. Cocaine can increase energy, make one feel more awake and alert and happy, and lower inhibitions; these effects are most likely why he would have been using it, as another unhealthy way to combat (or rather, temporarily escape from) his depression. Having another temporary (5 to 10 minutes if smoked, 15 to 30 minutes if snorted) escape from his depression would be appealing to Secondo, though it would also lead to him probably engaging in further risky behaviour, thus giving him more potential problems. Also, the comedown and side effects would be hard on him; irritability, exhaustion, and worsening depression are the side effects he most likely would have. (Sidenote: another side effect is sensitivity to light, and Secondo is often seen wearing sunglasses when not in his Papal paints and robes).
TL;DR: Secondo's coping mechanisms (unsafe sex, drugs and alcohol) are appealing but deeply unhealthy and ultimately making him feel worse in the long run.
Dry Throat and Mouth:
Xerostomia, aka dry mouth, is when the salivary glands in the mouth can't make enough saliva to keep the mouth moist. Secondo is seen leaving the stage to have a drink at least once, and it's possible that this is a recurring issue for him. Dry mouth can be caused by many things, such as age (he is old), alcohol and drugs (he likes to party and probably does molly), and various medications (such as the previously mentioned gentamicin and azithromycin). Obviously, this is the least of his problems, and he seems to manage it well enough by simply drinking more water.
TL;DR: Secondo's lifestyle, age, and meds give him dry mouth so he chugs the H2O.
TL;DR:
Secondo is old, and thus has low testosterone and osteoporosis, so he's on the 'mones and calcium supplements. He's also depressed, so he's drinking, fucking, and doing drugs to (unhealthily) cope with that, giving him even more problems. And his mouth is dry. This man is suffering.
cracks knuckles oh i’ve been waiting for an excuse to talk about hanky code.
i hc secondo is into a lot of heavier kink play and in my mind piercing is one of his BIGGEST kinks. so i added a lil easter egg there since purple symbolizes piercing!! it can either be interpreted as reader’s or secondo’s!!
