Men love me for my cadaver swag. The way my skin is cold like a corpse, my off-putting demeanor, and the way I stand in the threshold of the still-living and the dead.
Day 58: uni is killing me so here's something different
a dumb short fic of doc and deimos playing minecraft
its a writing practice so please dont be harsh on me, thank you and wish me luck on my finals
2BDAMNED: DEIMOS
D31: ?????
Doc sent a screenshot of his server folder. Everything looked like usual S.Q. business except the brand new folder called “DEI'S PORN STASH”
D31: It's my porn stash doc
2BDAMNED: ITS THE FILES FOR A MINECRAFT SERVER
D31: I'm into that
Doc backed away from his keyboard for a sec to sigh.
2BDAMNED: You can't store your minecraft server on my servers
I need the storage for important shit
D31: Hop in
2BDAMNED: ??????
D31: Hop into the server
You might like it
Doc's eyes hovered between an open excel file and the minecraft icon.
He wasn't going to.
[2B joined the game]
ddddei: welcome :)
2B: what the hell is this shit
Doc appeared in front of a house made of diamond blocks in the middle of a plains biome.
ddddei: my house
made fully on vanilla no cheats all survival
because im a pro gamer boy
2B: did you really use cheats on a solo minecraft server?
ddddei: nuh uh its multiplayer
2B: nobody else has ever logged on
ddddei: you dont know that uwu
2B: im checking the server logs rn
youre a lonely loser lol
ddddei: ARE YOU J OR SRS
2B: srs
ddddei: HOW
2B: you know shit about encrypting
stick to the decrypting will you
ddddei: dont care ngl just dont turn the dirt into tnt and the water to lava
2B: thats more of a you thing
ddddei: thats why im telling you not to
DOESNT MATTER
CMERE
Doc walked up to Deimos and he was given a full set of iron armor and a diamond sword, just like him.
2B: nice
nothing enchanted tho?
not even for you?
ddddei: i mean i had some
funny thing about this world
ive been playing for like six months now and i have a thing for making hidden bases
but im so good at it ive lost 4 of them
2B: …
dumbass
ddddei: sybau
2B: whyd you keep making hidden bases after you lost the first one
ddddei: cus its fucking cool????
Doc hit Deimos with his sword.
ddddei: HEY
2B: dumbass
anyways show me around
ddddei: fun story
the 4th base i lost was very recent
as in yesterday lol
2B: dumbass noob
git gud
ddddei: SHUT UP
wanna make a new base together doc?
uwu
2B: ok
uwu
ddddei: never send that shit again
2B: owo?
ddddei: NO
2B: unu
ddddei: STOP
GO GET WOOD
2B: onwy if you give me huggie wuggies
uwu
Doc was kicked out of the server. He quickly reconnected.
2B: lol
ddddei: SEE THE SKY?
NIGHT IS COMING
GET SOME SHEEP DOC
GOGOGOGO
Deimos kept spamming the chat with “go”s even when he could clearly see Doc charging towards a sheep. Weird motivational chanting, I guess.
As night hit, they had enough materials for two beds and they settled to sleep inside the tacky diamond house. Dei tried to place his bed beside Doc's but the other man quickly broke it and put it on the other side of the room.
ddddei: CMON DOC
IM GONNA BE COLD AT NIGHT
2B: thats gay deimos
ddddei: duh
2B: ask for it appropiately
uwu
A moment of stillness.
ddddei: doc sama senpaiiiiiiii >///<
watashi i wanna put my bedto beside yours!!!!!!!!
2B: o///o d-d-dei-kun!
ddddei: pretty onegai please kyaaaa~ >///<
2B: y-yes d-dei-kun o///o
ddddei: kyaaaa!!!
KILL ME ALREADY
Doc proceeded to stab Deimos to death with his sword and he laughed.
2B: i didnt think youd actually do that shit
ddddei: YOU MADE ME
2B: cringe boy lol
ddddei: sparkledog
2B: where are you
ddddei: i dunno mister SPARKLEDOG
2B: lets talk
where are you
ddddei: what was it called
something like dark thunder
or was it dark lord?
2B: i just wanna talk deimos
ddddei: it had dark in the name im sure
Doc went out in the middle of the night to look for Dei, driven by sheer anger. How dare he bring up his dark past?
He looked around the plains and found nothing. Went up some hills and still nothing. Close by there was a forest so went into it, looking for the guy.
2B: really where are you?
you shouldve respawned here
Dei: its funny
but i never reset my spawn
soooo im back at my base lol
He was so stupid. Doc sighed audibly.
2B: ok send me the coords
Hiss... Doc failed to react.
[2B was blown up by Creeper]
ddddei: LMAOOOOO
2B: FUCK
ddddei: GIT GUD
2B: FUCK YOU
ddddei: :P :P :P
aight too much torture
Dei teleported Doc to his base. The first thing the old man did was punch him but he was wearing a full set of diamond armor.
ddddei: cuteeeeee uwu
2B: fuck you
It was then that Doc had a look around: The place looked pretty cozy, built close to a cave if the sudden cave sfx was any clue. Deimos used birch, jungle and dark oak wood, making up a nice palette.
2B: holy shit
ddddei: cool right?
2B: very cool
im genuinely impressed
ddddei: :3
2B: :3
ddddei: lol lets sleep old man
your back must hurt lmao
2B: stfu
Deimos guided him to his bedroom and placed a new bed beside the one already there. Doc clicked on the newly placed one and his character laid down.
Dei stood on top of him and crouched repeatedly.
2B: sleep dammit
ddddei: betchu like that
2B: is this why sanford has insomnia
ddddei: yeah lmao
2B: gay lmao
ddddei: WEVE DONE SHIT OF COURSE IM KINDA GAY
2B: kinda?
ddddei: half
2B: half??????
ddddei: A QUANTITY
2B: a quantity????????????????
ddddei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dei finally clicked his bed and they skipped the night.
Now that he had his base back, they skipped a big part of gameplay. He had food farms, wood farms and half of an iron farm because he couldn't figure it out.
While Deimos decided to go look for some diamonds the vanilla way, Doc stayed on the base fixing that.
2B: while youre down there look for some redstone
i might be able to make some duppers
ddddei: loool thought you said no cheats
2B: its not cheating if its a bug
ddddei: sureeeeeeeee
2B: just do it
ddddei: bro really came into a new server and started giving out orders
is it a fetish of yours or smthng lol
Doc groaned, ignored him and kept working on the farm.
2B: im wondering
why havent you invited someone else to play?
ddddei: who else plays minecraft
2B: sanford?
ddddei: he doesnt play a lot of games
he likes to watch others play actually
sometimes im playing and he just sits beside me and doesnt get bored for some reason
2B: funny the same thing happens to me with hank
ddddei: odd balls
no wonder they got the same style
Dei kept mining and Doc kept building.
2B: no one else?
ddddei: ????
2B: you dont speak to anyone else on the team?
ddddei: nah
2B: why?
ddddei: why should i
i got you i got sanford
i got hank
i guess
2B: thats so few people
ddddei: when you know too many people do you really know them or are you just aware of their existence
Doc stopped building.
2B: what????
ddddei: what
2B: that sounded so
ddddei: ????
2B: nothing
farm done
ddddei: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Now their homy base had an iron farm and Doc already had plans for an XP farm, a gold farm, even an enderman farm-
He received a message on his phone:
Sanford: Doc we're getting close
I'm ok but Hank's bleeding
2B: i gotta go
hank and san are coming back and hanks bleeding
ddddei: aight then
nice having you around
2B: dont stay up late
[2B left the server]
Doc healed Hank and Deimos absolutely did not stay up late making a mob farm.
who needs gender affirming care when i can listen to nightcore/dancecore/eurobeat shit through my hearing aids and pretend that they're a 2000s mp3 player because they have a similar sound quality
