#tf2 scoutcest

[pissratee]

Judging Scout ships' names:

(This has nothing to do with how much I like specific ship itself, just its most popular name. Subjectively most popular in most cases and selected subjectively)

Brats 'n' Bats: Such a nothing name, I'm sorry. Ok, it's in big part because I don't like ship names with 3 words, it just seems like 1 too many plus I hate when a ship name has "and" in name. Like, that doesn't like like a ship name. Still, it does capture their ship pretty well, 4/10

Batting Helmet: Once again it might be just me and maybe the fact that English is not my native language, but no. What does batting hemlet even mean? I mean, I know what that means, I think, but it just seems to me like someone took two words that while are connected to the characters but in the most random way 1/10

Flash Fire: Finally something good! My only complaint is that Pyro's part "Fire" is too obvious. Still, flash fire sounds really good, 9/10

Hop Scotch: Best Scout ship name by far, though I might be biased because I looove Demoscout. Still, it's soo good. Hop for Scout is not too obvious, Scotch from Demo is also really good, and of course they additionally form another word that is genuinely so cute and good, 10/10

Heavy Hitters: Technically I think it's pretty good, but it doesn't translate well for me. Idk how to explain it. Like with Flash Fire the word for Heavy being just heavy is too obvious but then again it's to be linked with "hitters", 5/10

Texas Two-Step: Three words ship names if they were good fr fr. I don't know what directly inspired this name (I could check but this post isnt about it). But there is an achievement for Engie named that

and it kinda has something to do with both Scout and Engineer so that's a plus. Again, idk if it's the achievement that directly inspired this ship name, but either way it fits, 8/10

QuickFix: Ok, I do really like, I just don't think it sounds as catchy as some other ship names. "Quick" and "fix" are good words to represent Scout and Medic while not being too obvious, and of course the fact that one of Medic's secondaries is called that (my favourite one too) that is all about healing quickly? Yeah, really good choice, 7/10

Speeding Bullet: Damn, this is the most popular Scout ship? I mean, it's a good name, but not specific enough. "Speeding" part is fine, but "bullet"? Speeding bullet could as well be a ship name for Scoutcest, Heavyscout, and maybe even Engiescout. Still, it is pretty cool that Scout's theme has this in its name "Faster than a speeding bullet", 6/10

Seduce Me: Ah yes, my favourite ship for triggering every antishipper even though I don't see Spy as Scout's dad which ironically enough upsets them even more xD. Having said that, this name is very eh. On one hand it is very cool that it's the name of the ost that plays while Spy is teaching Scout about romance in Expiration Date, on the other I'm really not a fan of ship names that without context have a different meaning. Like yeah, if you searched "tf2 seduce me ship" you'd probably find said ship, but if you searched "seduce me" it's just a normal phrase, 4/10

[oddport-fiction]

Fic 453: Two Guys in an Apocalypse

Two Scouts have a moment in the middle of a robo-apocalypse. This contains my personal headcanon that BLU Scout is from New York. Mentions of death in the events leading up to the story.

Scout crept forward a few more inches along the crumbling remains of a cinder block wall. It still felt mostly sturdy, but he kept telling himself that the shifting of concrete beneath his feet was more the thinness of his sneakers than the structural integrity of the thing. Lightly touching his fingers to the wall as he continued out onto the end, like a BLU Spider-Dude, until he reached the end and perched.

Out in the distance he could see it. The massive robo-carrier loomed over the trees as its lights glowed in the darkening evening sky. For the past week its silhouette had been a foreboding presence over the base, haunting it like a huge metal ghost as the remaining mercenaries did their best to go on with their daily routines. It hadn’t opened yet, not like the others had.

One week ago they had heard it coming, the thing’s massive treads causing them to feel the ground shake miles away. He was pretty sure that only thing that a sheer cliff face had been the only thing keeping it from rolling right up to their front door. The unpaved roads that wound their way up the mountain were too narrow for the carrier.

“But it is only a matter of time before they start marching up.”

Spy’s words still rang in his ears.

RED Spy’s.

The not-dead one.

A little more of the wall crumbled under his feet as he shifted, the scene playing out in his head for what felt like the millionth time. Not that he and Spy had been particularly close; he reminded Scout far too much of the literal mother fucker on the RED side of things, but when you lived, died, and respawned with a guy for five years, you got at least a little attached.

Watching the Frenchman’s lanky body slowly slump to the ground from a Robo-Sniper’s arrow to the head had been a shock. Even as Demo drug him away by his arm, he just keep looking back and expecting that fancy suit to get back up, or fade away to respawn.

But respawn was gone now.

Spy was gone now.

Just like Engineer and Heavy were gone. Like the base back in Teufort was gone. Like half of the West Coast was go-

“Don’t think it’s movin’ anytime soon.”

“Damnit!” Scout jumped at the voice, wobbling on the edge of the wall until he regained his balance. “Don’t sneak up on a guy like that!”

He got a cocky grin in return. “Didn’t sneak.”

Scout glared over at the man who had appeared out of thin air next to him.

The RED Scout.

Just like him, the guy was lanky and lean with runner’s legs and a shit-eating grin. Basically the standard issue Scout type. Just like Demomen tended to have body parts missing, and Heavies looked like shaved bears.

Scout didn’t care for him.

Demo had laughed when he’d complained about him when the two teams first came together. A temporary truce that had been forged into a determined, if a bit strained, alliance as they fought first for survival and now to put a stop to the robot menace.

“Yer two o’ a kind, that’s why.” The Scot had given him a knowing look between his second and third bottles of gin.

The retort had come quickly. “I ain’t like him. He’s… he’s annoying! He’s gotta be the center of attention, think’s he’s god’s gift to women or somethin’, and I know that I heard him singing Tom Jones singles in the shower last week.”

Demo had smiled. “I thought ye liked Tom Jones?”

Scout had just glared back.

He shook himself from his reverie. If the RED had noticed it, he didn’t let it show. “Spy send you to check up on me or something?” he finally asked. The RED had never followed him out on a run before, and he ran through the events of the past few days trying to figure out if he’d done something to get himself on the rogue’s radar.

“Nah. Just got bored.” The RED stretched his arms over his head as he looked out over the tops of the pine trees below. “Feels like a morgue at base. Everyone whisperin’ about plans and tiptoein’ around. Figured that’s why you were out here.”

Scout had to and it to him. He wasn’t wrong. The atmosphere at base had only gotten thicker as the days had gone by. Dwindling supplies and the inevitable approach of winter in only a few weeks had everyone’s mood in the shitter. Getting outside seemed to be the only way to get his own spirits up these days. Despite the RED being only a few feet away, he gestured as if he were offering a seat at the dinner table.

“Misery loves company. Have a seat, fellow scout.”

RED looked down at him. “We’re gonna have to do somethin’ about this.”

“About what?”

“The whole two scout thing.” Red waved his hand. “It’s gettin’ confusin’.”

He had to laugh at that. More than once over the past few weeks the two of them had found themselves running against each other as they tried following the directions being barked at them through their headsets. Twice he’d wound up at dead ends after receiving intel meant for his counterpart. And RED had nearly ended up decapitated by a Robo-Demoman’s sword after the right turn meant for Scout ran him into a near death-trap.

“You mean we actually try usin’ *gasp* real names?”

The red replied without missing a beat. “Good an idea as any. Mine’s Jeremy. Yours?”

Scout gaped for a moment. He hadn’t actually thought the guy would tell him. Robo-apocalypse or not, he was still BLU and… Jeremy… was still RED.

“What, we friends now?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Well, we ain’t tryin’ to kill each other.”

“Not anymore.” Scout nodded slightly in agreement. “For now, anyway.”

“Sure. For now.” Jeremy crouched down to seat himself next to Scout. “So, what’cha doin’ out here?”

“Scouting.”

“No shit.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“Makin’ small talk.”

Scout glanced over. “Must be hard with that big yap o’ yours.” For the first time since he’d arrived, Jeremy looked speechless. Amusement flooded through Scout, the first time he’d felt that since before all of this Gray Mann stuff went down.

“Okay, I’m gonna give you that one, ‘cause it’s the only one you’re gonna get.” Jeremy snorted, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth that was impossible to miss.

Scout couldn’t help a smile of his own. Even that light bit of banter seemed to brighten the autumn sun just a little. A hint of the competitive rivalry that they used to have on the field, but twisted around to good-natured ribbing of a teammate. It almost felt normal. Or at least as normal as life could ever be when working for Team Fortress Industries.

An almost peaceful quiet settled down between them, and Scout actually managed to forget about the robo-carrier that was receding into the blackness of night.

“Never saw a sky like this back home.”

He looked over to see Jeremy gazing up at the stars as well, and nodded. “Same. Too many city lights.”

“So where’s home?”

Scout hesitated, but only for a moment. “Queens.”

“Sorry, ‘bout that.”

It was Scout’s turn to shake his head. “Realy? I gotta take that from someone from Beantown?”

Jeremy’s eyes widened. “Wait, how’d you know-”

“Spent more than one day at Fenway watching the Mets kick the Red Sox’ tails.” Scout snorted.

“Well,” Jeremy leaned back, “at least you ain’t a Yankees fan.”

“I like to think I’ve got some good qualities.” Scout grinned.

Jeremy reached out and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Yeah, you ain’t bad.”

The hand lingered perhaps a little longer than absolutely necessary. They really weren’t friends, they were barely allies, but Scout found himself in no hurry for that hand to move. It was warm in the cooling night air. Warm in a way that was comforting instead of the warmth of running blood, or a heart that was beating so hard that you were afraid that it would pound right out of your chest. Fingers flexed gently into his shoulder. A tentative touch that was almost delicate in how barely there it was.

It felt nice.

*shhhh* Scout, are you there? *shhhh*

Jeremy’s hand jerked away as Spy’s voice crackled over twin headsets.

“Which one?” They replied in unison,causing them to both pause and grin at each other. A sigh could be heard from the other end of the radio.

*shhhh* Either of you. Both of you. Get back to base. Engineer has made contact with Miss Pauling. Spy out. *shhhh*

“Damn. Didn’t think he’d actually do it.” Jeremy rubbed his face with his hands. “Hopefully she’s got some good news for a change.”

“It’d be nice.” Scout agreed.

Jeremy got up and walked his way off the wall. “It’s gettin’ cold. You wanna race back?”

“Only if you wanna loose.”

“Like that’s gonna happen.”

Scout laughed as Jeremy swaggered back to the trail. Running at night wasn’t the brightest thing they could do, but there was plenty of light from the moon, and god knew he could stand to hide the slight flush that he knew had to be creeping up the back of his neck. A single touch shouldn’t be able to do quite so much.

But on the other hand, the guy did have great taste in music.

“It’s Phillip, by the way.”

Jeremy stopped in his tracks. “What?”

Scout crept back off the wall and trotted up the path until they stood side by side. “Philip. It’s my name.”

A thousand watt grin spread across Jeremy’s face. Holding out his hand, he gripped Scout’s tightly and gave it a shake. “Nice to meet’cha, Phil.”

“Same… Jeremy.”

The name sounded nice rolling off his tongue.

[markingatlightspeed]

-whispers- TFO Scout's ghost making out with TF2 Scout (faun or not) -whisper-

DON’T TEMPT ME, FRODO!

(Yo I might have to do that ngl)