Height Headcanons for the Finwean siblings (+ wives because I couldn't stop myself)
for @tolkienfamilyweek day two - siblings
Note: This is meant to entertain, don't take anything said here too serious, though I will fight for my tall boy Finarfin agenda. Also if there is any form of measurements mentioned I will do the world a favour and use the metric system, sorry Americans out there
General order: Finarfin → Findis → Fingolfin → Lalwen = Fëanor
first off all all of them are tall by elvish standards
In Fëanor's humble opinion Lalwen is just the least worst sibling because they're literally the same height and he doesn't feel like she mocks him when they're standing next to eachother
Reasons why he feels the others are mocking him (even though they totally don't):
a) Finarfin and Findis are like always there when something for once is out of his reach and make the mistake of - brace yourself - offering help
b) Fingolfin is just unfortunate for being the exact same height as their father (sorry buddy but Fëanor has enough problems with you looking so much like dad and now you're also as tall as him. not. fair)
Off-topic but: Lalwen has the habit of just picking any of her siblings up and carrying them around if so desired, doesn't matter that they're taller than her
all of them find is kind of funny, even Fëanor isn't pissed because honestly he does the same thing with Nerdanel and the kids, can't blame his half sister, carrying people around is fun
honestly everyone has carried everyone over their shoulder at some point but Lalwen does it the most
Fingolfin is just like two centimetres taller than Lalwen and Fëanor in terms of actual height but his hair is just so ridiculously poofy that he seems almost as tall as Finarfin (same goes for Finwë if he isn't wearing his hair in braids)
Findis is as tall as and looks a lot like Ingwë, and while the two of them find it hilarious the royal court of Valmar (and Tirion) always has to do a double take before approaching either of them
It doesn't help that their voice range is almost the same too, yes either Findis has a very deep voice or Ingwë a surprisingly high voice
Finarfin has a hard time with about every door in Tirion due to the fact that he hits his head about everywhere he goes. Finwë had the official law for the average height of doorframes changed because of this exact reason (which proofed to be not enough once Argon had reached his full height poor guy)
honestly once he got his growth spurts he found his new personal archenemies in Tirions architecture which is exactly why he moved the Alqualondë (the Teleri have a thing for overly high doorframes and ceilings)
also Finarfin was the tallest of the Noldor until the next generation reached adulthood then he suddenly ranked fifth being the same height as his own daughter
think about it once everyone leaves he regains the title
Lalwen and Findis have the least issues with their height and Fingolfin would too if that wasn't one more thing about himself that got him hate from his older brother
Fëanor probably invented high heels at some point out of pure spite and because he wanted to be taller than Finarfin but was completely incapable of wearing them
he gifted the first fully functional pair to Anairë on her wedding day so that "she would at least be able to kiss her husband without having to stand on her tip toes" (he needed a wedding present ok? Nerdanel made him get one)
Speaking of Anairë: the wives of the Finweans ranked by height: Nerdanel → Earwen → Elemmírë → Anairë
Elemmírë and Findis are married I don't make the rules
Nerdanel is tall but still not as tall as her husband (their genes combined are what gets them Maedhros, all the others turned out about their own height or a bit shorter *cough* Caranthir *cough*)
Earwen certainly inherited her uncles genes which she passes down to Galadriel but sadly her mother was beyond short and so she got a good mix in between, slightly above average height
Elemmírë is totally average in height and has a thing for tall women, good for her that Findis is, by the time they're married, the tallest woman of the Noldor
Anairë is short, like if she and Tuor would stand next to eachother he'd be slightly taller than her and that says something - she loves tall men though and with her newly acquired pair of high heels she is at least able to look her husband in the eyes
compared to a normal sized human like me they'd all be giants though. I'm talking about a more or less twenty-five centimetres difference between myself (172cm) and Anairë (ca. 197cm)
