continued from here for @dirtyauthority
“more space and one of us would have to leave the city and i’m not moving to jersey.” tori laughs, shaking her head. she feels stupid for even letting the words slip out, but she’s high. they’re out before she can stop them. the two of them sitting on xander’s roof, her gaze fixed anywhere but him. tracing the colors of the sunset instead. trying to ignore the way being back here stirs something up in her, something that makes her stomach ache.
she doesn’t say that, though. just passes the joint back to him and rubs lightly at her eyes. they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. almost two months since the breakup. tori had spent the rest of that night crying until she passed out. then a few days trying to clean up the mess she’d made of her life. and then, in a weak moment, she’d texted him. it had started simple. work. stuff with her family. because despite everything, he still knew her better than anyone. they kept talking after that. just texts. never calls. she couldn’t handle hearing his voice.
eventually they ran into each other at some associate’s parties. no sneaking glances, no tension filled avoidance because it was over. they were over. so they just hugged. talked about everything except them. kept it casual, because that’s what she’d asked for. what she’d insisted on, even. they both had bigger things to fix with themselves. tori had started therapy, too. hadn’t told anyone. not even xander. just somewhere to talk. really talk and it helped. made her want to be better.
but he was still her weak spot. so she’d texted him again, this time from the spa. kept it light. asked what he was doing later. asked if she could come over. just as friends. just to get high on his roof and pretend she didn’t remember what it felt like when he touched her. kissed her that last time. had shown up bearing a bottle of wine in skin tight slacks, blazer, and a top she knew showed up her curves. hair in a messy bun that spilled curls into her eyes and of course heels. usual work attire.
"you were crazy about me. past tense.” she notes it, feels the sting, but brushes it off. “you’re always going to be in my head somewhere,” she says, softer now. “either right there or just… in the background. what we had. it mattered. it was real. it’s okay, xander. it’s just… life.” she finally looks at him, offering a small smile so he knows she’s okay. or at least trying to be. now she feels a little guilty for showing up like this, unannounced, like she might’ve crossed some invisible line. but she’d wanted to see him. “i should probably go,” she adds after a moment, a quiet laugh slipping out. “it’s late, and i’m starving.” she glances away again, already pulling back. “i’m sure you’ve got plans anyway.”
















