Home alone ~ Jespar edition
(I apologize to everyone. Especially if your OC somehow acts out of character. I tried :D )
THE DAY BEFORE
Alok: “This’ll be so much fun! I can’t wait to get there!”
Wren: “And don’t forget: Tomorrow at 7am in front of the city gates. Don’t be late!”
~later~
It’s night. A big thunderstorm looms over the city. Everyone is fast asleep except for Jespar who is still drinking and smoking in the tavern.
NEXT DAY IN THE MORNING
7 in the morning
*Jespar drooling on his pillow*
___________________________________
7 in the morning at the city gates
*everyone stuffing their bags into the car* Wren: “Guys, last time we forgot Addie. That’ll not happen again today. Where’s Addie?” Addie: “I’m here.” Wren: “Perfect. Well then, guys, get in!” *everyone squeezes into the car, Elurah’s the one driving* Elurah: “Alright. Everyone on board?” *happy cheering, occasional “ouch”-noises* Addie: “Turn on the radio!”
8:56AM *Jespar wakes up* *goes to the bathroom & brushes his teeth* *all more or less while being still half asleep* *then goes to the living room* *blinks*
“….Guys?”
*goes to the kitchen*
“Guys?” *goes to every single bedroom* “What the heck- GUYS???” *stares into the void* “Damn, Wren said something yesterday…. or did she?” *goes back into the living room and looks on the calendar* “…………………………………………oh shit!” *runs to the city gate*
“Shit! They just drove without me! Blazes! How could they just- …. …. Wait. That means…..”
*grins widely all of a sudden* “I am home ALONE! Awesome!” A FEW MINUTES LATER *Jespar in the kitchen, giggling like a child* *opens the fridge* “Oh, ICECREAM! IS THERE SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO EAT THAT??? NO?? EHEHE.” *takes icecream that is clearly labeled with ‘Eska’s* ______________________________ *Jespar in the living room* “OH ALOK YOU ARE NOT AROUND, ARE YOU?” *takes Alok’s lute* *strums a few cords and sings a blues* ______________________________ *Jespar in the kitchen again* *eats a breakfast suitable for a king because he plundered the fridge again* *the radio is on* Esme: As always the weather will be sponsored by XXX. But first the latest news. A tragic accident happened in Ark yesterday. The wellknown poet Prince Adreyu of Mith was found dead near the Fat Leoran. Witnesses told the guards that he drank from a mysterious bottle and dropped dead shortly after. The apothecarii stated that a CPR was not successful.” *Jespar, licking the plate clean, completely unfaced* “Tragic.” _____________________________ *Jespar in the living room after smoking way too much peaceweed*
“Hm… hungry again. Let’s have some Pizza.” AT THE PIZZERIA
*phone rings* *Lea struggles to roll out the dough* *Jhara picks up, bored out of his mind and completely monotone*
Jhara: “Pizza Wolvelini…Other pizza is nice…ours is…nicer. New this week… pizza with….burned flesh. When everything else tastes like shit you haven’t tried our pizza yet. I tell you, you will be absolu-” Lea: “JHARA!” Jhara: *exhaling* “…..Your order?” Jespar: “A pizza.” Jhara: “Hm.” Jespar: “With cheese.” *Jhara looks over to Lea, evil smile on the lips* Jhara: “We’ll be right with you.” *hangs up* *La donna è mobile starts playing in the background*
10 MINUTES LATER *Jhara rings the doorbell* *Jespar opens the door* Jespar: “Finally. My pizza!” Jhara: “Yes. One. Don’t you think that’s a bit…. scant for you and all of your friends?” *tries to take a look into the flat* *Lea stands next to him with a notepad in her hands*
Jespar: “Oh. No. It’s just for me. I am completely alone at home. Usually I am never alone at home. And on top of that the alarm system just shut down and that’s especially dangerous since there is so much valuable stuff in the flat, you know? But oh well, after I’ve eaten I’m going to take a nap. I really sleep like a stone, you know? Say, you as a delivery service, how much money do you make? I for myself think theft shouldn’t be punished that harsh. Oh, and did you know that my windows are broken? They have to remain open for now. But I was considerate and got a ladder for the man who fixes the windows tomorrow. It’s right over there in the corner. And – just to make it clear again – there really is a fuckload of valuables in the flat.” Jhara: “Um….yeah. It’s 10 bucks.” *Jespar gives him 10* Jespar: “Keep the change.” Jhara: “… nice…?” Jespar: “Oh and take care not to stumble over the spare key when you leave. It’s right there.” *the key is literally laying there in full sight* Lea: “…” Jhara: “…” Jespar: “It’s the big one. With the silver keychain. Bye~” *door closes* Jhara: “….Do you think he wanted to tell us something?” SOMEWHERE AT THE BEACH Calia: “Guys? Don’t we…. Don’t we miss a person?” everyone: “….?” Calia: “….Jespar?” Thaizo: *spitting his cocktail all over Clerissa* “Oh my god!” Shizero: “Fuck! Jespar home alone?! The last time he nearly choked on a banana and lit the house on fire!” *everyone panics* Thaizo: “Can someone call him?!” Eska: “No, there’s no reception around here!” BACK IN THE LIVING ROOM *Jespar sits down with his pizza* *…. which is basically just an weirdly-shaped, unbaked dough with cheese, ketchup and uncut tomatoes on top* *turns on the telly and eats*
Tharaêl: Good evening, mysirs and mydames. Tealor Arantheal, the leader of the Holy Order, mentioned in a press conference on Morndas that the work on the beacon is nearly done. Last improvements are made until the end of the week. Afterwards the beacon will be lit immidiately. For the rest of the world this means - “ *Throws his papers in the air* “WE’RE FUCKED! FUCKED!!!”
*Jespar spreads out on the couch* “Shit happens…” *falls asleep*
IN A NEARBY PARKED TRANSPORTER Lea: “Alright. We will sneak up to the building, climb up the northern house front, up to his window-” Jhara: “Right. And then we drill a small hole into the glass and through that we’ll-” Lea: “Jhara. The windows are open.” Jhara: “….Boring. And then?” Lea: “…um…” Jhara: “Let’s google this.” Lea: “Uh, great idea.” *opens up google* Lea: “How do I rob an unsuspecting, careless and helpless idiot” Jhara: “with violence” Lea: “…with violence…. Oh, look. It even has pictures!”
A FEW MINUTES LATER AT THE DOOR *Lea tries to pick the lock* *Jhara stares at the bell* *Jhara rings the bell* Lea: “What the fuck!” Jhara: “Oooooh… Oh shit, sorry. Robbery – haha, well, that was a bit stupid now, right? Hahaha…” *Lea is just exhausted* *Jespar pokes his head out the window* Jespar: “And who are you two?” Jhara: “Oh eh hi there! We actually wanted to break in.” Jespar: “Better not do that.” Jhara and Lea: “…” Jespar: “But you could come in and watch the 7-season rerun of My lord, my lady with me if you want???” Lea: “Uh… no dude. Sounds horrible.” Jespar: “Tsk. No taste…” *vanishes from the window* Jhara: “But I like My lord, my lady…” *gets dragged away by Lea* Lea: “Jhara, no.” Jhara: “Jhara, yes!”
MIDNIGHT *Jespar sits with the two thieves on the couch* *stuffing their faces with potato chips* Lea: “Mind to pass me the red wine, my lord?” Jespar: “It’ll be my pleasure, my lady.” *noises at the door* *the other prophets storm in and yell Jespar’s name* Thaizo: “Oh thank the sun! The flat is still standing!” Shizero: “And you are fine too, Jespar!” Jespar: “You all forgot about me!!!” Wren: “Yes, but-” Jespar: “NO! You forgot about me! And because of that you are not allowed to get angry about whatever I might have done in the meantime!” everyone: “…” Shizero: “Ok…. but who are those two and why do they wear ski masks and look like burglars?” Jespar: “They work in a pizzeria and I like them.”
THE END (based on “Frodo allein zu Haus” by 1080Nerdscope)
