#thanapatis

[heretherebedork]

Kiss, lick, bite.

[heretherebedork]

My gift from this show is lapsitting because so much of the rest is just pain and worry for me because these two are so close and in such a sweet relationship but it's also a relationship that's slowly falling apart because Thana feels like he can't worry Patis or stress him with his life... and that's never good in a relationship.

[heretherebedork]

This show really does capture the feeling of being alone in a relationship, that pervading loneliness that feels wrong because you shouldn't be lonely when you know someone loves you but you are, oh you are, because he might love you but he's not there for you and sometimes you wonder if he thinks of you at all even as you hate yourself for wondering about his love for you because you love him and you know he loves you... right?

[heretherebedork]

Thana fears becoming the boyfriend who relies entirely on his love, of being who all their friends claim he is, of using the man he loves and putting more weight on his shoulders. Thana just wants to be an equal partner with Patis but losing his job, owing his mother, all of those struggles leave him feeling like he's becoming who he always feared if he tells him, if he lets Patis into his problems, that he will become who everyone tells him he already is.

It's agonizing. He loves Patis but so much of his love is about protecting him that it's almost not like love at all because all he's doing is creating distance between them with his fears.

(It doesn't help that Patis is working towards a dream and working at a job that leaves him busy constantly and out of the house and in a very bad position to notice how much Thana is struggling until it becomes such a big issue it can't be hidden.)

[heretherebedork]

And now there's real trouble in Thana and Patis because one's keeping secrets and the other is too busy to really notice and they're fighting over little things because they're hurting each other and don't know how to stop.

Thana is keeping so many secrets because he doesn't want to burden Patis but he's hurting Patis and putting more space between them with each secret he adds. And Patis loves him but he's busy with work and has no idea what's going on in Thana's life.

Oh, these two are rough.

[heretherebedork]

Thana's desperate loneliness inside the relationship while Patis is utterly oblivious to what he's going through because Thana is protecting him from his stress but only increasing his loneliness in the process and pulling away from Patis in a way he doesn't even recognize as pulling away... oh, it aches. Because you can feel the love between them when they're together but Thana doesn't want to worry Patis with his mother and his job and his worries when he's working so hard and it's just this adult kind of ache. Especially with his friends all talking about how lucky he must be to date him and how he's taking advantage of Patis when he's trying so hard not to and the hurt and loneliness he can't escape.