steve little is just too cute so heres some drawings of his character from a movie where hes a priest and he drops his bible in a toilet full of diarrhea
This is the first review that is going on this blog. With this in mind, I decided to pick a movie that is really gonna start things off with a bang.
So fasten your fuckin' seatbelts cause we're talkin' about the Catechism Cataclysm.
What.
You've never heard of it.
Its been on netflix for a really long-
No?
Fine. That's fine. Ill let it slide, because honestly I watched this movie on a whim with my friends, because it looked just terrible and we wanted a cheap laugh.
What we got, however, was the ride of our gosh dang lives. It's listed as a horror movie, but it's honestly so much more than that. Essentially, it is a stupid gory comedy made by smart people. Its also got one of the best bromance that could ever exist, for real. Any brotp you have right now will pee its own pants in the sight of this one. Then, it'll feel ashamed for not being as heartwarming and personable (and probably for peeing it's own pants, too. Gross).
So, let's start with a little synopsis. Essentially this movie focuses on two people. Father William (or Billy) a sweet little apple pie that really really blows at being a priest, and Robbie, a total burnout who used to date Billy's older sister in high school. Now these two men barely know each other, and they are by no means friends, but Billy still idolizes Robbie from when he was in high school, and used to write short stories. Billy figures that since Robbie is so good at telling stories, that he can help him out. See, Billy was sent on a sabbatical by the church...for being a shitty priest. He couldn't seem to grasp the idea that reading stories off the internet about badass grandmas had nothing to do with God. So, he was sent to find himself. Billy, being the cute little dumpling that he is, invites Robbie on a canoe/camping trip to tell him stories. And then all of a fuckin dang sudden,crazy weird shit starts happening. Like, i dont use those terms lightly shit gets serious quickly, and then leaves just as abruptly as it began. Explaining it could never do it justice. Besides, I dont want to explain it to you
Because if I do, it loses its effect entirely.
See, this movie isn't good in a conventional way. It doesn't have a stellar soundtrack, or awesome camera angles, or sweet CGI or anything like that. Honestly a debate could be posed as to whether or not the STORY is actually any good. But what IS good is the message of the story. What it leaves you with. It leaves you completely and utterly unsatisfied. And trust me on this one, in this case it WAS on purpose and it is a very good thing.
I assume you all want me to explain myself immediately, because that sounds like a box full of dog shit. How could I be satisfied with dissatisfaction?
Ill start by telling you about Robbie's short stories. Billy couldn't get enough of them, but so many other people rejected them. Why? Well because the endings sucked. They almost never ended well, there was no little to no resolution to the problems at hand, and they often left you miserable. However, every other chunk of his story was fantastic. They began with a great premise, and they were far from dull. They led you eagerly right to the end...and then left you in the dust. Nobody appreciated that.
And that is exactly how our movie ended. Nothing was resolved, nothing good happened, and it left you kind of miserable.
At first, i was...shocked. Yeah, that's really the only word for it. Shocked. Who ends a film like that?
But after a while I kind of caught it. After thinking about the plot, and letting everything sink in (cause trust me after this you're gonna need a second or two to fuckin' think about what you just saw, and who it was that spilled their LSD all over the last half of the film)
They're telling you to enjoy the ride, in preparation for the ending to suck.
Yeah. This goofy, "horror" movie about a cute priest and an ex-rock band member contains a statement about life. Now it's not the most profound statement, but it gives you a deeper understanding of that statement. And its good.
Also check out these cutie pies
seriously this is the cutest shit ever i know that it doesn't -look- it but trust me its so endearing.
So yeah i really really liked this movie. I'm kinda hesitant to rate it on a scale because...it's really out there, and i don't want anyone getting any false expectations from it. I also just don't like scales. The words should speak for themselves, I think.
The Catechism Cataclysm is the kind of movie where you finish it and think, what the fuck did I just watch? and I'm glad I watched it. Thank you captaincoolasfuck for that great recommendation. And fuck you everyone else who didn't give me a recommendation.
