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Interview : The Cavemen

The Cavemen outside Voodoo Rhythm Records in Bern, shot with my Olympus Trip.

On a sunny Monday afternoon I took the train to Bern to watch the Cavemen play a free little show at Voodoo Rhythm Records. I had barely arrived in front of the shop that a cocktail appeared in my hand out of nowhere (thank you Reverend Beat-Man!). The atmosphere was very friendly, with nice tunes being played by DJ Junk Wild. The Cavemen were also hanging out outside enjoying the sun- they told me that they had signed the visitors’ book of the church nearby, which I thought was very funny. The band ended up playing on a little platform just under the shop’s roof- they literally had to climb a ladder to get on “stage”!

In this interview, we laugh a lot- don’t take it too seriously. I think it represents the band well nonetheless- a funny, kind and chaotic group of friends who are passionate about what they do.

Many thanks to the Cavemen, Reverend Beat-Man and all the team at Voodoo Rhythm Records for their warm welcome!

What’s your life like in London?

Jake: I sleep all day!

Jack: I usually have to go to work really, really hungover. And have suicidal thoughts.

Paul: I wake up, scream at an inanimate object and then masturbate all day.

Nick: I go to work and I sleep as much as I can get away with at my job without my superiors finding out. And then I go home and stuff my fat fucking face and watch TV every night.

Do your employers know that you’re making music besides your dayjobs?

Jack: Yeah, that’s why none of us have jobs now!

Jake: We’re all unemployed.

Nick: They envy me, but they’re also happy for me you know. But they are jealous, they do get very jealous of my rock and roll lifestyle I might say, yeah.

The Cavemen playing at Voodoo Rhythm, shot with my Olympus Trip.

Tonight you’re going to play in a record shop- how is your set going to be different from usual?

Jack: It’s going to be a lot shorter.

Paul: And we’re going to sit down for a while. Instead of falling down!

Nick: Usually only this fucking bastard gets to sit down!

Jack: Usually we just fall over yeah, but here if we fall over we’re probably going to hurt ourselves quite badly, so..

Nick: I might have to dangle my legs over the side of the fucking roof. I’m terrified somebody’s gonna pull them!

Paul: It’s gonna be like a gig on a pirate trip!

Nick: A little bit yeah! Or like a sea-shanty kind of feeling.

Jake: I think I’m too drugged to get up the ladder now.

Nick: Getting down is out of the fucking question!

I’d like to talk about your album Nuke Earth as well-

Paul: Well, it’s a concept album about the destruction of the whole Earth.

Jack: Which is what we pray for every day.

Haha, I don’t even need to say anything! You guys just go for it. So I wanted to know, how did you record it? It sounds like you guys were all recording in the same room at the same time.

Paul: Well, it was recorded on a cellphone. I’m kidding, it was recorded on tape.

Jack: We did it on an 8-track cassette test kind of thing with a friend of ours, Jimmy. We pretty much did it all live, and then a couple overdubs like vocals. But most of it is just us in a room playing live.

So that’s true! I really liked the energy, it really sounded like it was recorded live.

Paul: We were taking a lot of cocaine when we recorded that album.

Jack: Which is why it’s such an egotistical shitshow.

Who is Janey?

Jack: Um, that’s my auntie.

Paul: I thought it was about your closeted homosexuality, I thought it was originally called “Jamie”!

Jack: Shut up! No, it’s an amalgamation of all our sexual fantasies about women. It was going to be called “Barbie” initially. (ndlr: everyone is dying of laughter at this point).

Jake: That’s all we’ve got. We’ve only got the fantasies. We don’t actually have experience.

Nick: It’s a metaphor for what we think it’s gonna be like when we lose our virginities. I wish Janey was real!

I also wanted to talk about my favorite song on the album, Thug. How did it come to life?

Jack: We were touring in Italy and listening to a lot of Personal and the Pizzas and Thin Lizzy. I thought, “they’re good bands. Let’s rip these assholes off!” So I did.

Nick: In the guitar solo there was actually a lot of influence from an old New Zealand band as well. There’s a bit of a key twist on it. The song is Be Mine Tonight by Th’ Dudes. So we jacked a little bit of that as well.

Jake: And then the lyrics are just really really stupid.

Nick: Yeah. But it’s like a Kiwi-New York amalgamation. The two go hand in hand, yes.

Finally, what can we expect from the Cavemen in the future?

Jake: Not much.

Nick: Death?

Paul: We’re pretty close to death.

Nick: More public shame, more humiliation and scandal.

Jack: A bit more criminal record

Jake: Prison, probably.

Nick: Hopefully. All I see is a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 6-string guitar.

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