Jun 23
How it feels when once in a blue moon someone gives me a slight compliment on my art so at least I know I'm not making a fool of myself in the internet by posting my floppy drawings
seen from T1
seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Mexico
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seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from China
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seen from Argentina
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How it feels when once in a blue moon someone gives me a slight compliment on my art so at least I know I'm not making a fool of myself in the internet by posting my floppy drawings
playing dead
i’m having feelings again.
it’s very sudden. too much. i’m crying all the time, i'm angry again, i’m brash, everything feels like it’s been dialed up to 50.
everyone is telling me my feelings are normal. they don’t feel normal, they feel massive and i don’t know how to regulate them at all.
friend of a friend told me i’ve been playing dead too long.
i didn’t get it at first.
she said that it probably feels like so much because my head’s not in survival mode all the time anymore.
i think i really have just been numbing every time i feel a thing. i don’t know what to do. i hate this so much. i feel like a helpless kid again. i haven’t had feelings like this since i was young. even when i cut my throat i wasn’t thinking about anything. the times i almost crashed my car, nothing. just a hole.
i don’t want this. i liked the empty hole better.
i wanna be your dog. its so stupid. i hate it. i just wanna lay at the foot of your bed. i want you to show me affection so simply and so naturally. i wanna lay my head in your lap while you watch TV, i don’t wanna have to think about anything. i just want you to make decisions for me and take care of me. i wanna be able to comfort you right when you’re upset. god, whatever, this feels so embarrassing. i’m sorry.
guy texts its therapist asking to come back and do weekly sessions with its hands shaking with the heart rate of an animal being hunted for sport 37 dead 490 injured
every time I mention my beliefs on the supernatural/paranormal around the dude I like I feel crazy because he isn't (?) religious and doesn't believe in ghosts and such meanwhile I've been haunted several times and possessed once and currently own items which are questionably haunted
I fear I have gender envy for the entity that used to haunt me lowk
maybe its just my ED thoughts making a starring reappearance but I wanna be tall and thin and scary as hell with long, disheveled hair covering a strikingly dollike face and live in the woods forever scaring local hikers
almost ugly sobbed today while discussing my career path but I managed to keep my cool everyone clap