#the gir

[thecrownnet]

thecrownnetflix  Queen of our hearts. #Emmys

[poorboy1990]

"A door once open may be stepped through in iether direction." - Reinette

[28bestkessel]

MY HEART

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IT, DOCTOR WHO?!

SO MUCH FIGHTING

[krundt]

Thor **

Beware, O weaklings of the southern shores, the mighty Norse heroes imbued with Viking blood, who span the cold-foaming seas to capture your eyeballs and pillage your box office. Your defenses are long since broken and breached.

Sweden’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo emerged from the mists like a sudden dream, overwhelming all resistance before you were fully awake.

Denmark’s “Forbrydelsen” – cloaked, with clever deception, as the AMC series “The Killing” – enchanted your folk, with the crafty Swede Joel Kinnaman (heralded for his roles in “Vinnarskallar” and “Johan Falk: GSI – Gruppen för särskilda insatser”) bewitching your viewers in the guise of druggy slacker cop Stephen Holder.

Now stand back, cowering, to behold the invincible “Thor:” god of thunder, wielder of Mjölnir, the unfailing hammer of victory, exerciser of abs the like of which you never have seen before.

If you doubt Thor’s power and command, grovel awestruck before his $400 million of global ticket sales! This is the reckoning of his hard-won triumph over enemies within, the Lokis who designed this ill-conceived movie vehicle, pitifully inadequate to transport a god; and who betrayed high Asgard with a cheesy bronze set design that evokes the lowly faux-Nordic Donald Trump. Woe, woe to those who betrayed the hammer-hurling Thor! And may those who bend their knee to him by spending good money on this mostly awful picture receive the rich booty that only the grateful and generous Thor can dispense!

Okay. Deep breath. Cool. I’m fine. No, really.

I saw “Thor”  during hours stolen from a day of work, a stratagem that disposed me to be easily pleased. As a onetime devotee of Marvel comics, I arrived with interest in the material. And as a fevered consumer of Scandinavian pop culture, I was intrigued by the possibilities of a story involving a hunky thunder god, instead of the usual slack-bellied, suicidal policeman. Bottom line: “Thor” is not a good movie, but there are worse ways to evade the pain of earning a living.

One genuinely good thing about this picture – one achievement of slumming director Kenneth Branagh, who learned his Scandinavian playing the droopy Wallander: By the end, we buy the character Thor, a god of immense power humbled by experience.

Chris Hemsworth, as Thor, initially seems defeated by the effects-driven stupidity of The Trump Asgard. In New Mexico, bizarrely matched with the microscopic Natalie Portman, he shows up at first as a bewildered surfer dude, all blonde hair, blue eyes, and dim-witted muscle.  But Branagh understands the challenges of greatness. He gets us, and Hemsworth, where we need to go. Ultimately he creates a believable, sequel-ready character worthy of the Maker of Gods Jack Kirby. In fairness, the costumes also have merit.

Everything else, frankly, is crap. Our time in Asgard is excruciating, particularly during battles with computer-generated Slimesicle enemies. But there are elements of fun: For some reason, there’s a hep-cat Japanese guy in Aryan Asgard, with an accent and a top knot. The lordly Idris Elba, who’s way hunkier than Hemsworth, keeps his breastplate on and never explains how black folk found their way into this weirdly politically correct Norse heaven.

The movie begins to find its groove in New Mexico. Portman knows how to hold our attention, and she has one good bit, doing an over-the-top swoon when Thor grabs her in anticipation of flight. Unfortunately, she’s not witty enough to portray a comic-book genius chick-physicist hot for an improbable god. (By contrast, Kat Dennings, as Portman’s nerdy but wickedly insightful colleague, lights up her every moment on screen.) There’s one sweet Scandinavian gag when Thor dimly refers to the Hubble Telescope as the Hööble Telescope. Otherwise, this movie is mostly suffering. But isn’t suffering Scandinavia’s gift to the world?

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See also:

X-Men Who Hate Wome

Bond James Bond

Martin Beck Mysteries: “The Story of Crime”

Super 8

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

21 Movies Worth Watching

A Somewhat Gentle Man

Limitless

Reprise

The Redbreast by Jo Nesbø

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest

Nemesis by Jo Nesbø

Savages

[totalfilm]

David Fincher interested in directing new Cleopatra

James Cameron may be out, but Scott Rudin’s Cleopatra may have found itself a new director in the shape of David Fincher. Power producer Rudin recently worked with Fincher on The Social Network and upcoming book adap The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, so it would make sense for them to collaborate again on Cleopatra. The only bone of contention, though, could be scheduling, with Deadline reporting that Fincher is anticipating filming The Girl Who Played with Fire next – his first sequel to one of his own movies.