#the ladyfriend

[districtfourmermaid]

Did someone say hedgie? 

The lovely longlivecaesar, hedgehog lover and real life mermaid, asked me to draw her in color pallete 7. <3

[be-wulf]

for u mags

bonus: the first two are from right after we met for the 1st time

[aristeuein]

I just need a little down-time, I think. At least it's a bit before exams so I can collect myself. 

Saw it coming. Should have prepared more for it. 

Two whole tears! Atrocious. Blasphemy. 

But did you know that an elephant is the only mammal with 4 knees? That's crazy! And in some cultures, wedding cake is thrown, not eaten? 

Wow. 

Some R&R with him and me alone is just what I need. I know it. Maybe a shot of Smirnoff or something but only for recreational purposes. 

[newbrunswickcryptkeeper]

It was nice having you to sleep beside this weekend. I'm gonna miss waking up to your eyes in the morning.

[aristeuein]

Ha

Ha

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh

Why is she so perfect. 

[aristeuein]

I love her and I want to keep repeating it as many times as I can until I can't anymore and then I keep going because it'll never stop being true. And heckie yeah I got issues but I feel like she makes me want to fix them instead of wallowing in my own pit of emotions and self-pity. 

It's like an all consuming need to just... be near her. We don't even have to be talking or looking at each other but her presence just soothes me. Reminds me that there's something left here that's worth trudging on even if it seems so mindless and repetitive. 

I guess I never really appreciated it. It's weird to have someone worry about me because I guess people are used to me taking care of myself. Granted I haven't been doing that very well lately but the fact remains that I can and they trust me. She trusts me too but she cares anyway. 

Today someone I met at university told me, probably as a joke, to kill myself. To be honest I normally wouldn't have taken it seriously. I mean, people say crazy things and words just slip out your mouth because it's hard to control it. I get that. I can't be certain that I've never said that, I struggle with it too but I try. It's just that I've been having a rough month and I really didn't need someone to tell me that. I've seen enough people I care about on the verge and nobody should ever get that push. It'd be easier if it was online, I could pretend that they are some faceless dickface and I could disregard it. I was their friend, I thought. I thought that people would try to avoid telling their friends to kill themselves. 

I don't know why she thought it'd be funny. 

I cried. 

I'm still crying. I was so close. 

Nobody downtown drives slow. Nobody here looks before stepping on the pedal. It could have been so easy but I couldn't. It wouldn't have been fair to me. It wouldn't have been fair to everyone that loves me, or cares because fuck it. Opposition is just white noise in the background, overwhelmed by people who matter telling you that you matter. You will always matter to someone, somewhere. And they should not suffer and you should not suffer for someone else's idiocy.  

[aristeuein]

just 

I can't stop giving the ladyfriend kisses she's so soft and kissable and nice and pretty and smart and ugh. I like her lots it concerns me mildly that this has happened. I feel as though I am too dependent but to be honest here do I really care if it makes me feel warm and fuzzy and gentle? Nah not a single lickin' bit. So yeah that's all das coo' I just gotta put that out there you know. 

Gonna give her kisses 5ever you're welcome world.

[aristeuein]