#the maxverse

[swoodthis]

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Zelda

You know the old “if X was put into the world of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, what Pokémon would they be?”

Yeah.

So Link would be a Lucario. The smol Links would be Riolus! They’re canine, they’re strong, and they’re Steel and Fighting type. More on that later.

Zelda would be a Gardevoir. Smol Zeldas are Kirlias, or maybe even Raltses! They have absolutely insane Special Attack and Special Defense, and Psychic and Fairy is very Zelda.

But Ganondorf? Emboar? No... I know EXACTLY the Pokémon.

Tyranitar.

They have the Dark type, they’re huge, angry, formidable both physically and magically... Hell, they’re even green!

But it goes even deeper. Tyranitars are 4x weak to Fighting. Link’s type. They’re also weak to Fairy, Zelda’s type. All three Triforce bearers would have Mega Evolutions, too. And Ganondorf’s would involve a gaping wound opening up. You know. Like Twilight Princess...

But the thing that absolutely sold me on Tyranondorf is the ability Sand Stream. TYRANITARS ARE CURSED TO CARRY AN AURA OF DESERT AND FAMINE AND DEATH WHEREVER THEY GO. My heart... And Link? His Steel typing makes him immune to the damage.

Also the Salesman would be a Protean Kecleon with extra movesets stored in masks, because absurdly powerful merchants and being something different depending on what the situation calls for.

[swoodthis]

I... oh my god. (SSB portrayal realization)

Dexter and Sinister Timaeus, my take on Master Hand and Crazy Hand, have, between the two of them, ALL OF THE WRECK IT RALPH 2 QUALIFYING FACTORS OF BEING A DISNEY PRINCESS.

Magic hair.

Dexter wears a hairpin enchanted to keep his hair slicked back, and when he removes it, it’s like Finn taking his hat off. Sinister just straight-up has a pocket dimension inside his floof.

Magic hands.

OBVIOUSLY.

Animals talk to them.

Pokémon. Anthro animals. The Duck Hunt duo.

Poisoned.

I’m planning a fic where Bayonetta angels inject Sinister with some weird entropy juice that almost causes his own chaos god power to melt down like a nuclear reactor.

Cursed.

The Master. Fucking. Core.

Kidnapped or enslaved.

This was a main plot point in the Subspace Emissary.

Holy shit

[swoodthis]

A Smash Headcanon

Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix was canon. Waluigi actually borrowed the Music Keys from Crazy Hand/Sinister Timaeus, and when he didn’t bring them back, Sinister found out he used them to try to screw over the whole Mushroom Kingdom for money. Waluigi is now on permanent Assist Trophy duty.

(Honestly I reeeeally hope they add Waluigi, then I can write a story arc of Waluigi stealing the Music Keys again to give them back and get unbanned from Smash.)

[swoodthis]

SSB Headcanons: Mr. Game and Watch

Guy Warren Erebus, aka Mr Game and Watch, is single-handedly the most downright eldritch of the Smashers.

He chooses to exist in two dimensions most of the time, but he can exist in more than three if he wanted to. He is anthropomorphic by choice, too-- his species are basically eldritch void shadow amoebas. He can regenerate lost flesh-matter to the point where, given enough of a stable environment, he could regenerate his entire body from a single Shadow Bug. His Final Smash is just scratching the surface of his true form.

Sounds like a pretty horrifying entity.

EXCEPT HE ISN'T.

Guy has the personality and mannerisms of a friendly, laid-back handyman from Brooklyn. He's been to a lot of realms and done a lot of stuff. He is completely cool with weirdness and the presence of different sentient beings.

This just makes it all the more heartbreaking what Tabuu did. Imagine having those regenerative powers and someone took you prisoner and sawed off your limbs. Again. And again. And again.

[swoodthis]

Mynos the Poe Collector quoting the Tourette’s Guy, because a lot of his character is basically a chaotic good Sheikah lich Tourettes Guy.

[swoodthis]

Smash Headcanons: PlayStation All Stars

The All Stars live in a place called the Facility. It’s run by an organization who call themselves the Council, and they’re interdimensional travelers of the Mary Sue variety. I’m basing them off of obnoxious self-insert characters and the type of assclown that claims Nintendo only makes kiddie games for pussies but all they play are the same edgy brown Call of Duty clones.

The characters that the Council favors are Kratos, Dante, the two versions of Cole McGrath, Heihachi, Colonel Radec, Nathan Drake (much to his chagrin) and Nariko (Who they value for being a hot girl, and not for her skill as a warrior, which pisses her off.)

Polygon Man was once one of the Fighting Polygon Team. Dexter is very disappointed in him.

The Facility was built on a planet in the SSB universe. It’s about equivalent to Mars in proximity to Planet Smash.

The Council are very butthurt that the Smashers have fun.