#the mediator

[thesnowflakenecklace]

meg cabot the legend that you are

[ohmygodshesinsane]

paul was always an arsehole but i do feel like his creep factor has been taken up to 100 in remembrance

[meepmoop1314]

Paul x Suze headcanons

Suze and Paul exist a lot in my head, and I have a lot of ideas on what their relationship dynamic would be like. After watching Wuthering Heights (I agree with a lot of the criticisms of this movie, but I also really enjoyed the romance), the relationship dynamic between Cathy and Heathcliff reminded me of how I picture Suze and Paul.

They’re so obsessed with each other — mentally, physically. They’re so witty and funny, and so much more alike than Suze cares to admit — true intellectual equals. Their physical appearance is almost completely irresistible; one glance is enough to drive them wild. But these aren’t the only similarities they hold. They’re both extremely stubborn and desperate to hold power over the other.

In my headcanon, Paul has some kind of big, evil, messed-up Paul plan — probably to take over the world using their gift. Suze is extremely against that, and when they’re not bickering over something silly and insignificant, this is the big overarching conflict. Also, Suze doesn’t need Paul quite as much as he needs her.

I think Paul is extremely wealthy, handsome, smart, and obviously he’s a mediator, so he somewhat understandably has an inflated sense of self. Anyone who is near his level, like his grandfather or his brother, either scorns him or is terrified of him — or both. Everyone else who is obsessed with him is nothing but inferior, and worst of all, they bore him. Without Suze in his life, Paul is incredibly bored. Everything comes his way; nothing is interesting or meaningful. All he has left is his search for power.

Suze is incredibly drawn to him, yes — she cares about him deeply, and she values more about him than she hates — but she has friends, family, and Jesse. Because of this, she is not afraid to just break up with him and ignore him, not take any calls from him for weeks — to which he persists, breaks down her walls, and uses his agonisingly accurate ability to read her and control her to get her right back to where he (and she, secretly) wants her. He is extremely good at manipulation and will do whatever it takes.

This frustrates Suze so much that she will act out, do things to embarrass him, upset him — anything to try to prove that she has just as much control. These usually only really affect other people’s perception of him, to which he finds a way to charm them back. He more so just gets disappointed in Suze — that she’s not living up to her potential.

That love where you honestly just make each other’s lives hell is what reminded me of Wuthering Heights. I really love this relationship dynamic as well bc Its so dramatic and temperamental, constantly changing, that I can literally picture it with every song I listen to

[wondercourse]

"fuck pro endos and endos for making systems feel the need to specify that they're traumagenic"

actually i think the strictly dichotomic nature of origin syscourse results in traumagenic systems feeling the need to specify that they're solely traumagenic in order to not get fakeclaimed by anti-endos (who are mistakenly believed to be the "default" state of pwCDDs), a significant amount of whom have a history of saying that pro-endos MUST be faking because there's NO WAY any REAL pwCDD could ACTUALLY support endos.

this could also be supplemented by the fact that said nature of syscourse creates echo chambers that feel inescapable; after all, if you start entertaining other ideas, there is now a moral attachment to that fact, thus marking you as evil and cutting you off from many supposedly "safe" spaces acting as support.

in other words, perhaps it's not the existence of a plural experience outside of DID that should be blamed, but the inability to universally define what a plural experience is—which is the root of syscourse ("are plurality and CDDs a venn diagram or one circle?").

or, in moon terms, maybe stop blaming pro-endos and endos for problems caused by the fact that syscourse is just sending death threats to people because no one can fucking agree on what plurality means. holy fucking shit i need to curate my for you tab better.

[castanhadecajuu]

Only realizing later in life that you’re indeed very gay means understanding halfway through re-reading the first book of the mediator series by meg cabot that in fact you did not actually have a crush on jesse who everyone claimed as their first book boyfriend but were massively in love with suze the protagonist instead

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

You know what Syd & Carmy need?

A good rage fuck MEDIATOR

And this convo I just had in the comments this great post with @invisiblerambler brought Luca to my mind when I came up with the idea that we all are kinda rooting for Carmy to make progress in therapy, which I'm 100% on board with too, but IRL sometimes that's just not enough, some times we just need a friend that can understand us and we don't have undealt with feelings for or a secret attraction for. Especially someone like Carmy that didn't have that growing up.

The opposite may also be true IRL. Sometimes our close circle of friends is just not enough and we need to complement it with a good therapist or team of therapists, in some cases.

Life is not one or the other, life is messier. And so are these characters and this show. Right?

I always thought that when Carmy and Richie could really mend their relationship, which I'm sure will happen at some point, that person was gonna be Cousin. Now, after watching this S3 that keeps growing more and more on me as I rewatch its pivotal scenes, I'm having my doubts about that, simply because he has his own personal demons to deal with and, just like Carmy, he's not great at it. They are more alike than they think.

Whereas, as I mentioned here, Luca represents Carmy's healed version. That's why Storer brought him back at this point of Carmy's story. He is needed.

IMO: The bringer of light role, that he will play in Syd's story, as I elaborated in → here in the bonus track, will actually in a case of classic Storer mirroring, be the same role he will play in Carmy's story at this point of his redemption arc. I'm sure.

And Luca will be doing that for both at the same time, by being THE MEDIATOR between the two because he already knows Carmy and will get to know Syd when the Sydluca storyline (or as I call it, the PRESYDCARMYLUCA plot device) develops next season, for just a few months.

I can't wait for him to mediate between these two and ironically bring them closer together. I really can't.

Storer, I'm with you on this one. Don't even think about letting me down bc you're already on very thin ice with me.

Related note: This.

[aliteratepenguin]

“That woman—your mother—called you Susie.” His black eyes were bright on me. “Short for Susan?” “Susannah,” I said, correcting him automatically. “As in, ‘Don’t you cry for me.’” He smiled. “I know the song.” “Yeah. It was probably in the top forty the year you were born, huh?”

-Shadowland (Mediator #1) by Meg Cabot