Before The Dark Mark Years 1-2
TW: Abuse, DV, mild cursing
1. First Year: A New Beginning
December 24th, 1970
“I’m not going to spend money on him!” Tobias yelled from the kitchen.
Severus flinched as his foot slipped on the stairs. He clutched the railing tighter, his heart pounding.
“Tobias-” his mother said, her voice trembling.
He crept reluctantly toward the entrance of the kitchen, pressing his back to the peeling wall.
“I am not going to send my son to a school for freaks, Eileen!”
“But he needs to–!”
A loud slap echoed through the narrow halls as Severus’s eyes snapped shut.
“Stupid woman,” his father spat at her as she started sobbing softly.
Eileen curled onto the floor pathetically, her shoulders shaking. Severus hastily ran for the stairs, but it was too late.
“SEVERUS SNAPE.” Tobias yelled, causing him to freeze once more.
“Father-”
Tobias grabbed a fistful of Severus’ hair and yanked him forward, lowering his voice to a dangerous growl. "You think listening to conversations makes you smarter, boy?”
Tobias threw him on the floor, his body trembling. His arm covered his eyes, waiting for the first blow.
...But instead he felt gentle tugs on his shoulder…
***
September 1st 1971
“Sev? Sev!”
Severus opened his eyes. His ears rang. His mind was fuzzy.
He let out quiet pants as he tried to steady himself. The shouting slowly faded into a chorus of muggles muttering amongst each other. The dark halls of his household turned into bright red trains. Eileen was no longer sobbing on the floor. Instead she was nodding absent mindedly to a chatty Mrs. Evans. Severus’s vision started to get clearer as he took a deep, shaky breath.
I’m not there anymore, he thought .
The tugging became more insistent.
“Severus!”
“What?!” Lily’s round, rosy cheeks flushed as she pulled her hand away. Her dark red hair was pulled up with a white bow and her green eyes widened as she stared at him. “Are you okay?” she asked, carefully. “You look overwhelmed.”
“Yeah, I-I’m fine,” he choked out, adjusting the bag strap over his shoulder.
They were standing in front of a pillar between platforms 9 and 10.
“This is it,” Severus said, his heart slowing. “We’re finally leaving.” Lily looked uneasy at the bricks, as if they had insulted her. “So… we have to run through it?”
“Well, that’s what mum told me.”
There were small beats of silence until her hand reached hesitantly towards him. “Can you hold my hand?”
“Huh?”
For a second, he thought Lily was mad, but he took note of the small, sheepish smile on her face.
Severus swallowed a lump in his throat. “Uhm–Y-yeah, yeah of course.” He hesitantly held out his hand and let it rest in hers. Her hand was small, soft, and filled with an foreign warmth that lifted the weight off of his shoulders. His arm slowly lost tension as he tried to get used to the feeling. It felt like they were standing there for so long, it almost caught him off guard when Lily dragged him by the hand, running into the brick pillar.
It became dark for a moment. The chatter of people stopped. Then a burst of light and color exploded in their faces, revealing the other side of the barrier. There was a crowd of families, big and small. Mothers kissing their children goodbye, kids Severus’ age crying while hugging their fathers, teenage boys tossing a small golden ball with little gold wings, watching it spin around their heads. Owls of every species flew over their heads and cats big and small curled around their feet.
Lily’s eyes brightened as she kneeled to pet a gray kitten.
Severus was on the other side of the barrier, he should’ve forgotten about everything. But Tobias’ voice still stubbornly gnawed at his mind, refusing to let go.
His mother, along with the Evans family, came through the brick wall.
Lily looked at him, asking for permission to leave him. When he nodded, she rushed over to her family. Her father and mother hugged and kissed her. Her sister Petunia, however, pushed her away…
Severus and Eileen’s eyes met. Her movements were mechanical as she walked with him near the Hogwarts Express.
Many adults Severus had met said he and Eileen looked alike, but he couldn’t see it. Eileen had hair that looked like feathers from a wet raven. Dark circles rimmed around black eyes, which were dull and delicate. And, despite the fact she was deathly pale, she was very beautiful. He presumed he had most of her features, but his greasy hair stuck up in stubborn coils and the only things imperfected his face was Tobias’s hooked nose and the gap between his yellowing front teeth.
Right next to him was a family. The son hugged the leg of his father, tears filling his eyes. The father lifted the boy and tossed him up in the air with him laughing with glee. The mother kissed her son’s face and the family held each other close.
His mother did nothing except stare at the train with an unreadable expression.
“Mum?” Severus tugged at her arm. “Mother.” No answer.
He held back a sigh and put his hand back down.
The family's laughter next to him began to get louder. Severus stared at them as if he expected them to notice him. When they didn't, he scowled and dragged his luggage toward the train. Eileen didn't follow.
***
Severus set his luggage on the seat of the first compartment he found. He dug through it to find the robes that once belonged to his mother. They were big and wrinkled like elephant skin, but it was better than wearing worn-out muggle clothing. When he was about to un-zip his oversized jacket when he realized the door was open.
He sighed. But before he could close it, he looked down to see a furry black cat around him like it owned the compartment .
Severus blinked as he poked his head out to see if anyone would come to claim it. There was no one.
He looked back at the cat and kneeled in front of it. It had big shiny blue eyes that looked almost bored. The feline creature looked as if it were judging him and he judged it back carefully. His hand hovered over the cat’s head and its eyes widened.
“It’s alright,” he murmured softly.
The cat looked back at him and reluctantly raised its head in his palm. Severus tentatively rubbed the fur between its ears, feeling the same warmth from Lily’s hand The cat purred and raised its head more, which made the corners of Severus’ mouth lift a bit. “Are you lost?”
It laid its head on Severus’ thigh, getting comfortable as he chuckled softly.
“Edmund,” a voice interrupted, “Over here!” Severus behind him. A boy with dark skin was peaking through the door. His dark red braids each were tied with silver string and his amber eyes were hard but bright, like burning coal.
A taller boy with wavy, mouse brown hair scrunched his nose, making the oval glasses slip off his nose. He glared at Severus as he stepped in the compartment. “Move.” Severus’ eyebrows knitted together. He didn’t like the boy’s tone. But he held back a scowl and obeyed anyway.
The cat was then lifted into the boy’s arms. “Thought you could run off, did you, Rain?” The animal let out a soft “mowrr” in response.
The darker boy came up next to his friend to scratch behind its ears, grinning. That was before both boys turned and shot a cold stare at Severus.
“He just came up to me,” Severus said, reminding himself his wand was in the luggage in case anything happened. “I didn’t-”
“It’s a ‘she’.” The taller boy–Edmund– adjusted his hold on the cat, his voice sharp. He looked up and down at Severus and his face twisted, almost amused. “Merlin’s beard, what are you wearing?”
That one stung. Severus already hated wearing his father’s clothes, but hearing someone point it out felt like a slap to the face. He clenched his fists and looked down. ’Stay calm,’ he thought. ’I need to stay calm.’
The boy with dread locks laughed under his breath. “Looks like Rain ran into a mudblood.”
Mudblood? Severus thought he knew all the blood statuses, but he didn't know what a mudblood was. The sneer in the boy's voice told him that they saw him as inferior.
Severus’ eyes narrowed into black slits, his posture straighter. “Well then, I guess the cat has better taste than you.”
Edmund’s eyes widened.
Severus would have been satisfied but the shorter boy was starting to look more irritated. He tensed as he kept glancing at the luggage, but he couldn’t move even if he wanted to.
Edmund’s friend began to tower over Severus’ skinny frame. “Watch yourself, lass.”
Severus’s fear went away as he gave him a confused frown. “‘What?” The boy narrowed his eyes. “You heard me.”
“No, I mean I’m not a girl!” Severus snapped, shoving him away.
This seemed to happen every time Severus met someone. It was quite annoying. Thankfully, everyone in Cokesworth started to refer to him as “The Snape Boy”, but now this was happening again.
The boy blinked before smirking. “Damn. He has a temper.” Severus rolled his eyes. “Alright, you got what you were looking for. Can you please leave?”
“Well, hang on. We haven’t had a chance to introduce ourselves.” “Bruce,” Edmund started. “What–”
The shorter boy held out his hand. “Brutus Mulciber. What’s your name?”
Severus looked down at his hand and shook it cautiously. “Severus. Severus Snape.”
Brutus’s amber eyes glinted brighter. “Pleasure. I assume you’ve already met Rain.” He gestured to the black cat, who purred comfortably in Edmund’s arms. “And that’s Edmund.”
“Avery,” Edmund Avery corrected coolly.
“Er–Nice to meet you, I guess.” Avery’s eyes hardened further, as if expecting something. “Is that all you have to say?”
“There’s nothing else I can say!”
“Well,” he walked toward Severus until his glasses got foggy with Severus’s breath, “I guess you need to learn to respect those who are above you.” He then turned on his heel abruptly. “Come on. Sinistra’s waiting.”
Mulciber looked back at Severus before following Avery.
Severus kept staring at the doorway until he finally went over to close it. Being in the compartment with being interrogated now felt strange, but he was grateful nonetheless. “Arseholes.”
He let his jacket fall on the floor before tossing the baggy robes over him. Wearing the uniform over the muggle clothing made his chest swell triumphantly, the tension almost forgotten. He then pushed the luggage into the overhead rack.
The train whistle screamed in the distance, making him jump. Severus assumed they would be leaving soon. But when he was about to get Lily, she was already storming through the train entrance. Her round face was blotchy with tears and she walked past Severus angrily.
“Lily?”
“Don’t,” she said, her voice shaky.
She then fell into a compartment seat next to a boy with messy black hair.
—
Story Summary: This is a coming of age story about Severus Snape and his time at hogwarts and his time as a death eater and explores themes like identity, moral complexity, injustice, etc. This is also a slowburn snulciber fic. Inspo: ATYD by Mskingbean89 and The Outsiders by SE Hinton. Will be posting in wattpad too!
@the-most-faithful, @therealhalfbloodprince, @mikel-snape, @multifamdomfan IM FINALLY ACTUALLY PUBLISHING UT FINALLY OMG 😭✌️🥀
