Then again, a renegade did make me regenerate... Or, will have made me regenerate, rather.
*yells* guards! Guards!
seen from United States

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seen from United States

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Then again, a renegade did make me regenerate... Or, will have made me regenerate, rather.
*yells* guards! Guards!
Suuure i was a problem friend when i didnt reply fast enough, yet i dont get messaged at all for days/weeks and I'm "paranoid" and it's all "in my head" like fuck off with that shit fucking liars
Ate too much. Or not enough? Where are the cigarettes Potatoes are never enough Never. Ever.
Sleep schedule is once again fucked up. Didnāt take long for me to resort to my old ways. *_* Iām just slightly messy. In all aspects of my life.
Starting to feel like the 10th Doctor returning to Doctor Who has reawakened my Doctor Who hyperfixation.
Iāve been watching compilations of Doctor Who scenes for the 9th, 10th, and 12th Doctors repeatedly over the past week, and I canāt seem to stop.
Probably wonāt come up on this blog since I have not really seen more than 1 or 2 doctor who posts on my dash in years.
If it does come upĀ on my blog, itāll probably just be a few posts either ranting about parts of the show, or praising parts of the show. And those would just the occasional post or two.
the 1th season was my season
[the notorious ranting about season of Supergirl and how i donāt know why iām still watching]
Thereās this thing about Supergirl, first season, when I started to watch like a year later (I guess they were going to 2th season and all the āWhoās gonna be Superman???ā stuff). Lemme explain: I donāt like superheroes, I have no respect for Superman or Batman and anyone who wears different underpants on the uniform pants (Makes no sense! Why superheroes? Why?!), my favorite character of comic books is Daredevil (Far from a usual hero) and the one who get me at DC is the Martian Manhunter (Or how we used to call here in Brazil: Ajax, o Marciano).
And there was Supergirl, the brand new series of DCU to save our geek lives.
Iāve always watched the 1th season as a story about an immigrant. Someone who lost every reference of living and part of her story while escaping, we see this kind of stories at news everyday, Syria (nowadays), here in my country thereās a lot of those who left the place they used to call Home and goes anywhere where they can find for many reasons (Most for trying to make money and escape from poverty). Immigrant story, right? Thatās Kara from 1th season.
Sheās not homeless, but kinda lost of her doings, her belongings, her story. Fragments of a destroyed world and tales of super awesome stuff her cousin did and still doing, must be hard to step out of shadow of someone for so long. And then thereās Alex. Sheās Kara big sister, the best sister if you ask me about sisters relationships, still overshadowing since she came to Earth: Kara needs to fit, to be low profile, to understand that all what she lived once itās over. Not going back, nope, forget it. Alex is there to reminder her every single episode that she can be more of it, more than the regular adults expectations. She can be Kara Zor-El, but most of all, she can be herself. And that's beautiful to watch.
The 1th season iāve watched called me out for my own story, me and my family have moved of houses so many times we lost count, my big sister often tells me we never gonna settle as the other families because of it, sometimes I desperately wonder when Iāll fit to somewhere, for someone, I donāt know, maybe be normal, you know? Just like Kara from 1th season. Thatās what we call somehow representation.
Iāve watched while I was very upset about how my life were going, how to fit, be the average seems so better than outstanding (and getting riled up for it),to be normal was a quiet and nice place to be. And every episode of 1th season gives us the completely opposite, empowerment, full knowlegment of our habilities, and ffs gawd Cat Grant and her weird motivational speeches! Every single episode hooked me so deeply cause i've saw something I was missing: I could be myself and be happy for it.
The Danvers's sisters relationship got me good too, I have a big sister, we don't get along so much since I was 13, I missed her so badly, but when we grow up we're trying to figuring things out. I still don't know how to get along with her, and seeing how supportative Alex and Kara are with each other goes to my soft spot. The 1th season was that mostly, their relationship, their trust about each other, their struggle to be as a family even with all the worse odds (The House of El dysfunctional family, hello?). It remind me I also can be better too. I loved Alex Danvers character at the first sign, I want to be like her someday.
And all this 1th season was like a blast to me, as a viewer and as a storyteller, as a person. That season means a lot to me, for real. Because I've grow up watching television shows that never gave too much attention to these particular topics (And match with my own living): how to be the outsider, having the most wonderful sister support ever and not get lost. And includind the space dad J'onn J'onzz? My favorite League of Justice character EVER?! That plot twist was amazing, right at the solar plexus feelings for good!
Aaaaaaand the season 2 comes.
The writers just... i really don't know what happened right there, it's just... The 2th season it's a completely different show. I can't relate anymore to anyone, I can't see anything as a nice way to keep the hopes up, I definitely can't stand the way how Kara's development was subsided by some misogynist plot ever (FFS of Rao! We are talking about the Girl of Steel, she should not bend like that!) and well here we goes Alex Danvers, my true hero, get out of the closet. Oh well... We've seen this situation before, I finally related to that too, i was pretty older when I finally got the nerve and say out loud I was gay, so been there, done that Alex! All the hugs for ya honey! I hope they didn't fuck your coming out story with cliches. It was the best I could ask for them (writers), do not fuck with this plot. Because this plot it's already doomed since ever, we don't wanna go there again. Make a change, please?Ā
We saw how it ends, right? And I don't know where exactly the writers and producers wanna go with this mess of plot they invented. I just want to say I miss 1th season Supergirl, because that was the truly storytelling of someone trying to figuring out to be human, as we normal boring humans do everyday, even not realizing it, but we do. That's the power of some of media does to us everyday, shows like Supergirl has all the potential of bringing nice messages and bring people together not only for the fun of watching, but because maybe the story that is telling is about them, about us, everybody, somehow.
(BTW thank you Kate McGrath and Odette Annable for saving the plot, I wish Krys Marshall was there since the very beginning - that would be a A+ of dramatic background for the Worldkillers)
RANT INCOMING:
So I try to keep my blog life and my personal life fairly separate for reasons, but I got really mad about something irritating that happened today and figured I'd let off some steam in an environment where I'm semi-anonymous. Here goes:
I'm a musician, attending a music college. Normally, that's not big deal, whatever. The thing is though, I'm a female instrumentalist. A trumpet player, to be entirely and gratuitously precise. And I don't like to make a big deal about it, but being a female trumpet player isn't as common as I'd like it to be.Ā
Anyways, on to the real reason for the ranting -- I just got out of a film scoring session, which means very precise timing, so the music the composer wrote will match the scene perfectly and have the emotional effect the composer intended. Which is why, usually, the musicians in film scoring sessions use click-tracks, or a synchronized metronome, to make sure that all the musicians and the notes, etc. are exactly on track. And the guy I was recording this forĀ refused to use the click. I was recording solo trumpet over the rest of his mostly finished project, so losing the click wasn't a huge disaster until I hit an unmarked tempo change on my first play-through. At which point, the guy I was recording for said, "Don't worry, I'll cue you in." And then, in a classic move of high self-expectations, he mis-cued me at theĀ beginningĀ of the section I was playing on, twice, and we had to re-take from the tempo change at least 7 extra times, a problem that would have been easily remedied by having the click there to listen to.
But any time I would bring up the idea of putting the click track back on, or when the studio engineer would accidentally turn it on while fiddling with a technical issue on the recording software, the composer would angrily remind us that he didn't need the click, and that he would cue me in and do better next time.Ā
This isn't the first time I've run into this kind of artistic machismo and it's given me issues. Sometimes I come in as a substitute player to a big band ensemble with four other trumpet players, and Ā even if the person's spot I'm filling has the part containing an improvised solo, another trumpet player will surreptitiously, or blatantly switch our parts because clearly as a woman, I'm incapable of the creativity or confidence to solo effectively. That, or he knows he'll do a better job and wants to see how many notes he can possibly play at once. I don't know. But I have found that I don't go to jam sessions with other serious jazz players at my school anymore, because I'm unable to make myself heard in that environment. When I suggest a tune to play, it gets passed over. When I solo, I feel I am looked down on for only taking up two or three full times through the form of the song. Some days, I think I only take two or three times through the tune because I feel like my ideas are boring and derivative, that everyone else will be tired of hearing what I have to play; only for someone else (usually male) to take anywhere from five to seven choruses that sound exactly the same.
I don't exactly know where I'm going with this, but I'm tired of feeling silenced in a craft I have excelled at since I was 14. I'm tired of other people, typically men, making me feel as though they assume I'm incapable of counting to three before playing. I'm sick of people making me feel as though my particular ideas of what makes music good music have no place in wherever I happen to be at the time. And I hate the way I habitually downplay any compliments I'm given for things I know I do well, especially but not limited to music. But I don't know what to do about it, in the long or short term. I'm busy enough re-training my brain to not immediately assume anything that isn't perfect is my fault to enact any wide-spread change at the moment. So I guess I'll just do the classic American thing and bitch about it to the world until such a time as I feel I can do something.
yknow whats sad
what if like you had enough rp for pulsefire ezreal but not enough for ezreal himself and it sucks that you cant buy skins if you dont have the champion AND PULSEFIRE EZREAL IS LiKE HALF PRICE IN 4 DAYS AFTER RELEASE WHY NOT LIKE 2 WEEKS OR So idk