like an act of god
warnings/tags: 18+, dark themes, DUBCON/NONCON, woc!reader, emperor!lucius, dark!lucius, possessive behavior, forced engagement, implied forced marriage, ignoring a lot of logistics for the sake of the plot so rip, these tags are not exhaustive
wc: 5.4k
summary: An emperor’s favor is no favor at all.
believe it or not this was a writing warm up 😗 next up is hopefully childhood friends to lovers but let’s see where the plot bunnies go 🙂↔️
please let me know your thoughts and happy reading!!!
This is the fourth time in a mere week the emperor has called you to his chambers.
The guard looks vaguely uncomfortable as he stands outside your room. The flickering flames cast shadows underneath his helmet, making the sympathetic curl of his lip all the more severe.
Ink smudges the paper as you place down your pen. The letter to your brother will have to wait it seems.
“My lady.” The guard dips his head as he motions for you to step ahead of him.
The strained smile on your face wavers as soon as his eyes are on the back of your head. It is tough to keep your back straight as you make the short trek to the emperor’s room. Too short one can say but you keep those words tucked under the roof of your mouth.
You are a favorite of his, garnering his favor through virtue of your family or so they say. Your status allows you many liberties but these constant calls have crossed the line of propriety and rumors you may not recover from have begun to spread.
It is a fool’s wish to hope his eyes may stray but you cling to it despite his doglike loyalty.
The man of the hour sits with his back turned and a glass of wine balanced on his lips. His head twists when he hears your quiet footsteps enter his domain, softening when he catches a glimpse of you.
Your stomach twists.
You do not miss how the servants scurry out of sight and out earshot when he turns his formidable gaze towards them. You wish you could grab onto the frail wrist of the girl nearest to you. Your fingers flex as she hurriedly walks past you.
“It is late,” you say when the room is cleared.
“It is,” he agrees, a small smile on his handsome face. “Sit.”
Movements stiff, you take the seat across from him. He’s stretched out on his seat, robes rucking upwards to expose the strength hidden beneath his royal garb. Scars pucker the meat of his legs and there are faint white lines crisscrossing the skin as if depicting a linear story.
You swallow.
You have heard the tales and have determined what is far-fetched and what is truth.
And Lucius is made up almost entirely of truths.
The moment you cross your legs, he is upright and leaned over the minuscule table separating the two of you. Rather than reach for the half-full bottle of wine, he aims for the water, sharing a secretive smirk with you.
Your attempt at mirroring his playfulness is weak. A vague nausea begins to brew in your gut and you fear even water may be too heavy for you.
“Whispers will begin to spread.”
Lucius pauses. His features harden before he forcibly relaxes his face. “I do not see why that matters,” he says. His smile dims and the jug of water in his hand is quickly abandoned.
Sweat dampens your palms. You smooth them over your dress, wincing as the fabric catches on your peeled skin. A few months in Rome and you still have not adjusted to the weather.
“Lucius.”
His name is unnatural and stiff on your tongue. You long to revert back to his formal title but he refuses the honorific.
“It matters because you must marry wisely,” you say gently. “You know this. Let us not waste our breaths on the obvious.”
“Is it obvious?” he parrots back.
His voice takes on a cool tone. He’s not quite combative but you sense you must tread carefully lest his ice be thinner than it looks. But your brother was not made General because your bloodline bowed at the first sign of danger.
You tip your chin up. “It will not do for your senators to suspect you are looking inwards rather than outwards for your alliances.”
It is quiet for a moment before Lucius huffs out a laugh. He shifts his weight, balancing an elbow on his thigh to better cup his chin. Amusement lightens the blues of his eyes. “And if I am?”
You are not nearly as oblivious as your reputation suggests nor are you as great an actress as you believe yourself to be. You know when it admit defeat. There is only one way this conversation will go after all.
But this understanding does not mean you have to go quietly.
“Then I recommend Decima,” you say dryly.
He nods slowly, hiding his mouth behind his palm for a heartbeat before fixing you with a blandly curious look. “The daughter of the richest man in Rome,” he drawls. “Clever.”
He pops a grape into his mouth and chews it thoughtfully. “But not as clever as marrying the sister of my most loyal general.”
No one refuses the emperor. Try as he may to be benevolent and fair and kind, his status means there are certain words he has not been accustomed to since his rise to power.
“I suppose not,” you say finally.
Tilting your head, you fix the way your dress hangs over your legs. His eyes follow the ripple of the fabric but you pretend not to notice how he searches beyond what he can see.
“Is that why you have called me to your chambers so often? To flaunt your cleverness?” you ask, a touch sharply.
Lucius can’t help his grin. He ducks his head and it’s such a genuine display of the boyishness your brother feared his emperor lost, your stomach rolls at the sight.
“Do I not seem to enjoy your company?" he asks with faux surprise.
To your surprise, he slides down onto the ground and shuffles forward until his hands rest upon your knees. The cloth is so thin it feels as if his bare hands are against you. You suck in a breath at the warmth pooling underneath his palms.
“What are you—get up!” you hiss, casting a furtive glance behind you.
He blinks up at you innocently. “I am apologizing for misleading my betrothed. I have done a disservice if you think I call for you for the sake of a ploy.”
“And you will be doing me further disservice if you think I will believe this to mean anything.”
He moves his hands upwards until they lay upon your thighs. His fingers dimple your skin as he squeezes you. “I do not do things I do not mean,” he says firmly.
You lean down, placing your hands over his. “You want a family,” you say.
The words are shards in your mouth. It is not a simple matter of children. Lucius wants a home. The losses that haunt him have made his longing a physical thing. And your stubborn devotion lead you across an ocean you had no business crossing. What is a greater showing of love than that?
“I want you,” he corrects softly.
You almost wish he’d tell you he loves you. That would take rationality out of this equation.
But he wants you.
How do you reason with someone who knows exactly what they’re doing?
-
It was not meant to go this way.
The new ruler of Rome should have been of no personal concern of yours. He existed as a potential threat to your homeland, a story to fear, but not as a real person in your mind.
This remained true until a letter found its way to your family’s home.
It was written in your brother’s familiar scrawl and voice. He regaled to your family how he found himself across the world, omitting the worst of his ordeal, while promising his present safety.
With palpable regret, Kahlil declared himself unable to leave Rome, not while she remained under such uncertainty. The new emperor, Lucius Verus, had earned his loyalty having freed him from the clutches of the tyrannical twins and pushing him towards a path of glory.
And you knew at once what you must do.
You had to leave.
You had to feel his heartbeat underneath your hands and see that his blood was the same shade as yours. You refused to move on with your life as it was only knowing your brother existed. You would never be at peace without confirming that mortality ran through his veins.
The journey was brutal. It veered into the territory of being something you could not handle but you had no other choice than to handle it. Days stretched into weeks and weeks stretched into months but soon, you were touching down onto Roman soil.
The months at sea had been beneficial however as the language, while unfriendly to your ears, was familiar enough for you to navigate your way to the city. Hope permeated the air of the reborn city and whispers echoed the streets about a new age of peace.
Frankly, you didn’t care.
You asked around for your brother, eyebrows grazing your hairline as you learned of his newfound fame amongst the people. It took less than a week for you to scrounge around for a way to informally meet the beloved general.
It was rather anticlimactic.
There were a handful of places the general frequented with his men and none were easily accessible. Luckily, the innkeeper’s daughter took a liking to you and directed you to whose pockets were light. And so, you found yourself ducking underneath a curtain and into a plume of opioid smoke.
Your nose wrinkled at the acidic scent but paid it no mind as you searched the back room. Feigning confusion as some soldiers called to you, you darted around as each man you ran into did not resemble the one you knew.
On the cusp of marching back to the inn and declaring Caelia a liar, you found him. He was leaning over the balcony, melancholy stretching across his side profile.
His name left you as a breath, carried away by the slight breeze. But somehow, he heard you.
Kahlil lifted his head, a painful sort of resignation weighing down his shoulders, until he made eye contact with you.
In a matter of seconds, he stood before you. And he was okay.
He hugged you. His arms, muscled beyond your imagination, crushed you against his chest but it was a welcome pain, cracking your chest open and burrowing straight into the fragile meat of your heart.
“You shouldn’t have come,” he muttered against your hair. The admonishment is nonexistent, more a reflex to say rather than something from the heart. “But I am glad to see you.”
You pushed against him. He allowed you to pull back just enough so you could look up at him, vision blurred from your tears.
He was nothing like you remembered and you mourned this. Scars decorated his skin and callouses roughened his hands. But it was him.
His smile was still slightly awkward and the shape of his brows framed his eyes as perfectly as they always did. The kindness you feared was taken from him in his years of fighting remained in the crinkles of his eyes and the softness of his features.
“I missed you,” you said, voice catching in your throat. A fresh set of tears burned at your waterline. “I am so sorry we could not find you.”
His expression crumpled and Kahlil shook his head. “There is no one to blame but those who took me,” he said firmly.
You shut your eyes, swallowing down the sob that threatened to break free at his forgiveness.
He wiped the stray tears dripping from your face, laughing as if he did not look as foolish as you did. “You are still a crybaby.”
You laughed, more a hiccup than anything.
Kahlil was kept from saying more when someone uttered his name from behind.
“Highness,” Kahlil said, standing tall.
He wiped your remaining tears and his own before turning the both of you towards the voice.
A handsome man stood in front of you. His hair was dark and his beard thick. His arms were corded with muscle, similar to your brother’s, but there was a predator type of strength lurking underneath the surface in which Kahlil lacked.
The title registered in your mind as you stared and with an embarrassed look towards Kahlil, you dropped your head in deference.
The man quickly dismissed the formality and motioned for you to lift your head.
“I am Lucius,” he introduced. His gaze flicked to your brother in question.
You gave him your name, voice raw from your tears. He asked you to repeat it and you did so, watching as he rounded his mouth over the syllables.
“My sister,” Kahlil interjected. “The one who thinks no consequence too severe to keep her from making reckless decisions.”
At this, he pinched your ear lobe.
“You talked about me?” you asked, blinking up at him. So many years had passed. It was a wonder he remembered any stories of you to tell.
“Yes,” Lucius said, drawing your attention back to him. He stared at you, an unreadable look in his too blue eyes. “Quite favorably too.”
He took in the circles staining your under eyes and how you clutched at your brother as if he were an apparition brought to life. Your hand ached with how tightly you held the fabric of Kahlil’s clothes between your fingers but you could not make yourself relax. You worried you would wake and find yourself back on the boat and under the throes of that fever once more if you let go.
“You traveled far.”
The observation managed to sound impressive off of Lucius’ tongue as if he found you admirable. It made you squirm.
Memories of the journey flashed through your mind, bringing forth echoes of the anxiety you suffered for months on end. But you shrugged as if it was easy. Because in a way, it was.
Kahlil was at the end of the journey. There was no easier path to take.
“And I would have gone further had it been necessary,” you said. “Luckily, it was not. I might have thrown up my stomach if I was stuck on that ship any longer.”
Kahlil made a face. “The waves are a punishment,” he said sympathetically.
“You must be tired,” Lucius said. He had not taken his eyes off of you. “Come.”
And that was how it began.
You had a few uninterrupted weeks with your brother before he departed in search of allies for Rome. Kahlil promised you a home wherever he was and Lucius was all too happy to uphold such a promise.
Your quarters were moved to be closer to Lucius’ in Kahlil’s absence. It did not take long before you replaced time spent with him with Lucius.
In the instances you were alone with him, you forgot he was the emperor. His smile was infectious and he had a clever wit about him that kept you on your toes. The stories sprung from his lips kept you enthralled and you found yourself prolonging these moments with him.
Charisma was a necessity for leaders and Lucius had it in abundance.
Slowly, he began encroaching into your space. A hand on your lower back, a brush his fingers against your waist, lingering hugs that involved him burying his face in the hollows of your throat.
He was too close too often.
People began to take notice and sly comments were whispered under breath.
Once the rumors circulated close enough for you to hear, you began to pull back. You ignored the informal requests to see him and found reasons to decline the formal requests to his chambers.
Lucius did not take well to your sudden reticence and the rumors worsened as his demand for you grew.
If you knew being friendly with Lucius would lead to this, you would have made your room a jail in Kahlil’s absence instead.
-
Lucius becomes bold in the days after your engagement is announced.
He pens a letter to your brother of the news. You sign it without reading it. Lucius purses his lips but sends the letter without much complaint.
You write your own letter, minimally mentioning the engagement, and praying Kahlil reads in between the lines and slows his journey back. As your father resided an ocean away, your brother will have to make do and you fear his loyalty for Lucius will override his love for you.
Congratulations are heartfelt and plentiful from the people and ring insincere from the upper echelon. But the pushback is minimal and so, Lucius gleefully goes forward with the wedding planning.
It will be a grand affair, one you know he does not care for in the slightest. If it not for the fact that it would be the greatest showing of ownership, you believe Lucius would have dragged you in front of seven witnesses to declare the union.
The first time he presses a kiss against your temple in front of the most gossipy of his senate, you nearly buck your head back into his nose. His hand rests against your side and he murmurs something against your skin, sealing whatever it is he has said with a gentle kiss.
The sound of your blood rushing is all that fills your ears so you do not know if Lucius requested something of you. It does not matter.
He has made his point.
His affection worsens after that.
The engagement permits him to seek you out as he wishes. His men roll their eyes lightheartedly when he stops what he’s saying to call you over during training. He is quick to leave meetings or lunches if he senses they have turned into leisure rather than productive discussion to make his way back to your quarters now that you rebuff his.
No matter where you are, he finds you.
In the rare moments you are left to your own devices, you find yourself with no friends nor hobbies to keep you occupied.
You notice men do not raise their heads when they see you. Any conversation you try to hold with one ends with excuses as to why they suddenly find themselves too busy to speak to you.
A guard follows you around the clock. You manage to wrangle his name out of him—Scipio—but it is for nothing as a fortnight later, you do not see him again. From then, you have a new guard every day.
The women, few and far between in the palace, are sweet. But it is clear whatever comes out of your mouth goes directly to Lucius’ ear. So you busy yourself with fictional hopes of your future and dabble in petty gossip when you find yourself in their presence.
It is suffocating.
“There you are.”
The corner of the garden you’ve taken a liking to darkens as Lucius blocks the sunlight seeping in through a window.
He’s angelic under the golden cast of the sun. A man more than worthy of his position.
“Ah, Highness,” you greet, offering him a nod.
There is a pinch between his brows.
“We are to be married,” he reminds you, crouching down. He runs a gentle hand through the flowers you are observing. “You are my equal.”
“But we are not husband and wife quite yet, Highness.”
His hand leaves the flowers to cup your cheek. He turns you to face him, thumb brushing against the softness of your lips. Unconsciously, you swipe your tongue over the trail of warmth left behind. A slightly salty taste permeates your mouth.
“You are my equal,” he repeats. “And I expect you to treat me as such.”
The skin around his eyes is dark. Exhaustion makes him look pallid. Your avoidance is the last thing he wishes to deal with, this you are sure, and it tugs at your heart to see him so tired.
“You should go to bed,” you say.
“Will you join me?” he asks.
You jerk back. His hands falls off your cheek.
Lucius laughs at the stunned look on your face. He moves closer into your space, looking down at you.
“You are annoying,” you say hotly. “And I am busy. Obviously.”
He hums. “With thinking of ways to delay our wedding, yes?”
“Please. I have better uses of my time.”
Besides, he has made it nigh impossible to find a loophole. An emperor’s word is law and he has used his to shackle you to him.
“So you do not conspire to find a way to break our engagement?” he surmises mildly.
A fissure of fear opens within you. Hadrian had promised you discretion but clearly, a bit of luck is needed to escape the ever watchful eye of Lucius. But you have not been informed of any ports closures and so, you choose to hold your cards tightly to your chest.
You twist a petal between your fingers. “How can I conspire when all I know are these walls,” you motion towards said walls, “And the people you install in my circle.”
He watches you for a too long moment, scrutinizing the unnatural stillness of your expression. “The sense you hope your brother will impart on me will not change anything,” he says eventually.
It takes considerable effort for you to not show any sort of relief at his warning. The more pleading your letters became, the more Lucius clung to your side so you had eased up in the past few weeks. It does not come as a surprise he is actively reading whatever it is you write.
“Is he a confidant in name only, then?” you retort.
“He loves me,” Lucius says instead. He’s softened, bearing the weight of a man who knows it takes only a word for blood to be spilled in his name and for it to be spilled gladly. “But he loves you more.”
Pursing his lips, he fingers a stem. He doesn’t flinch when a thorn splits his skin. A droplet of blood runs from his finger and drips into the soil.
“But he loves Rome more?” you guess, peeking at him from under your lashes.
He watches the blood continue to spill into the soil. Just when you think he won’t answer you, to give weight to the truth you fear more than anything, he says, “Kahlil thinks I am a good man.”
And that is a sentencing all on its own, you suppose.
-
The bath water practically scalds your skin as you sink into the tub.
It is refreshing in a way. The slight sting keeps your thoughts from straying.
Kahlil’s recent letter leaves you with no choice but to hasten your escape. Any ship will do for you need to leave before the week’s end if Kahlil’s timeline is to be trusted.
You allow yourself a few more minutes in the bath, a few more minutes to act as if you are as any other, before you drain the tub and dry off.
You exit the bathroom, towel tucked loosely around yourself. Smoothing the left over oil onto your lips, you pause when you notice a shape out of the corner of your eye.
Lucius lays atop your sheets.
A strangled scream leaves your throat and you’re throwing a candle at him before you recognize it is him in your bed and not some stranger come to make true of your worst nightmares. Though, this is not a much better sight.
He catches the candle with one hand and deposits it on the floor, eyes wide in bemusement.
You hitch the towel higher, fisted fabric at your throat as you take him in. He’s stretched out lazily, hair wet and skin shiny with cream. The sheet covers his lower half and you force your eyes to rip away from the dark trail of hair on his lower abdomen. For all intents and purposes, he looks ready for bed.
“I brought you a gift,” he says, sitting up. He gestures to the box on top of your vanity. “Come here. Let’s look at it together.”
While said lightly, this is clearly an order.
You stand, shifting your weight. You are hyper aware of how naked you are underneath this flimsy towel. “I need to change, Highness.”
Annoyance flickers across his face. “Come here.”
Shuffling to your vanity, you heft the box as best you can with one arm and make your way to Lucius. The second you are within arm’s reach, he shoots out his hand and wraps it around you. He drags you forward and forces you to sit nestled between his thighs.
His cock is a heavy weight at the base of your spine.
You immediately straighten up and try to scoot forward but he doesn’t allow for this. He settles the box on your legs and brackets you with his arms.
“Open it,” he murmurs against your ear, resting his chin atop your shoulder.
Your fingers shake as you pry open the lid. All you can focus on is how the room feels as if it ends and begins with Lucius.
When you get the box open, you don’t know what you are looking at. And then Lucius pushes a finger against the object until a set of familiar brown eyes stare back at you, unfeeling and condemning all at once.
You shove the box away from you, turning into Lucius before you can see Hadrian’s head roll onto the floor.
He allows the change in position, letting your weight guide him back down to the bed before he hooks an arm around you and reverses your position. The towel slips and he follows the line of your throat and downwards.
He brings his hand down to push away the towel pooling at your hips. Instinctively, you grab at his wrist, tears beginning to line your eyes.
Lucius stills.
“Did you think I would let you leave?” he wonders.
He sounds genuinely confused and somehow, that little slip of sincerity allows a frigid wave of fear to crash over you. Rationally, you know your skin to still be warm to the touch but you shiver, ice replacing the blood flowing in you.
“I thought you would find me more work than I am worth,” you say quietly. Your heart strains against your rib cage.
The corner of his mouth twitches. “Did you now?”
He easily breaks free of your hold and you can do nothing as he makes quick work of your towel. Lucius slowly runs his thumb along the inside of your thigh, leaving a trail of warmth.
“Lucius.” His name is torn from your throat, a plea wrapped up in a warning. “Don’t. We are not married yet.”
He laughs, dropping his head down until his forehead lies flat against your collarbone. His breath is hot against you, sending the chill inwards.
"But we will be,” Lucius promises easily. “And I will wait no longer.”
He’s kissing you before you can make an attempt at delaying what is seemingly the inevitable.
His lips are hard against yours, impatiently slipping his tongue into your mouth and finding purchase against your teeth. Lucius is uncharacteristically sloppy, betraying the desperation he’s kept so carefully hidden.
You put your hands against his chest and curl them into fists when pushing only results in him tightening his hold on you.
Recalling what the other women said about their first time, you push down your fear until it settles underneath the acceptance you forcibly yank over yourself like a veneer.
His fingers caress your soft, bare skin as he trails his hands up your thigh. The coarseness of his chest hair against your overly sensitive skin sends static skittering across your nerves.
You stifle a whine when he pulls away from you just enough to let you pant against his mouth. Your stomach gives a sickening lurch when there’s pressure between your bodies, a dull ache at the apex of your thighs.
He slips his finger into you inch by inch and tears wet your cheeks when he adds a second one. Experimentally, he stretches you out until you’re left with no choice but to let your legs fall open, inviting him in.
The longer he presses into you, the more you feel yourself relax, noting your loosening muscles as if happening from an outsider’s perspective. Wetness drips down his wrist, pooling in the crease of his elbow and he grins, eyes pointedly going down. You refuse to follow him.
“Not as shy as you like to come off, hm?” he murmurs, circling his thumb over you and drawing out a high pitched moan.
You bite your lip immediately, a harsh breath ricocheting in your chest. You try to stamp down the pleasure beginning to curl into a coil in your belly. It tightens when he digs his teeth into your fluttering pulse.
It is when you are on the brink of something that he eases up, slipping his fingers out and bringing them to his mouth. You almost clamp down on his hand when he pulls out but resist the urge by the skin of your teeth.
You shift, drawing your legs closer in the hopes of chasing that mounting high he’s taken from you. A dizzying sort of heat has set your blood aflame, akin to a fever.
You must be sick, you decide. It must be a sickness that has not yet been discovered that plagues you and leaves you feeling empty where Lucius does not touch you.
He cants his hips up, lining himself up. Your eyes widen when you feel him prod your entrance. The sheer size of him terrifies you because it won’t matter if he doesn’t fit as you hysterically believe he won’t.
He’ll find a way.
“Lucius, wait,” you hiccup, swallowing down the anxiety thrumming alongside your arousal.
He grinds himself between your thighs, slicking himself with you. He doesn’t bother acknowledging your mindless babble and instead, licks away a wayward tear on your cheek.
Lucius sinks in an inch, your name a wrecked sound. He sounds different from what you’re used to, strained and roughened around the edges.
“Please kiss me,” you beg, curling a hand around the base of his neck. His curls are wet, the space between them almost humid from the heat emanating from him.
His hips stutter and he braces himself against the mattress.
“Kiss you?” Lucius repeats hoarsely, peering down at you with his pupils blown wide with a haunting desire.
You nod weakly, urging his face closer. The stretch of him burns and while not entirely unpleasant, it makes your heart quicken and your belly flutter.
He sinks in deeper and catches your gasp in his mouth. You part your lips instantly as he bears down on you, pushing deeper and deeper until he’s seated inside you. Numbly, you wonder if you’ll ever be whole again, if Lucius has carved out a space in you only he can fill.
Lucius lets you adjust to him, running a soothing hand underneath your chest. He traces circles around your nipple and it’s a searing heat that takes the edge off.
He kisses you gently. It’s almost too sweet to bear but you respond in earnest, angling your hips upwards to give the okay. The discomfort has loosened into something you handle and the knot noosed around your heart untangles to leave a bloodied heap in its wake.
He thrusts into you as if to test your resolve. You whimper as pleasure seeps into your core. You break away from his greedy mouth and soothe yourself with pressing kisses against his strong jaw. You nip at the bone as you catch your literal and metaphorical breath. It’s hard to tell if it’s the lack of air or Lucius himself making you lightheaded.
The thread of restraint he’s meticulously maintained snaps at the strung out noise. Lucius fucks you hard and deep, perhaps a little deeper than intended if the guttural noise that leaves him is any indication.
The pleasure in your belly ratchets up and a strangled moan is gutted from you when his cock brushes against some part of you that sends sparks right up your spine.
Immediately, he’s thrusting into that spot over and over again and doesn’t stop until he stiffens with a groan.
He spills into you, cock twitching as you milk him for what he’s worth.
Your name is on the tip of his tongue and branded across his heart.
Lucius chants it, peppering kisses all over your face as he collapses carefully on top of you. Fatigue wears at you and you close your eyes, hating yourself for finding comfort in how he immediately presses a kiss against your swollen eyelids.
“I love you,” Lucius whispers.
It is the worst thing you have ever heard.
this fic is finished. there will never be a part 2. thanks!
