Discover Top Posts Tagged with #the void shitposts

Ah, yes, boobs, God’s best creation.

Me: (spins slowly around in chair to face the camera, eyes glazed as a donut) You have my subdivided attention.

Had Joe Jonas been brave enough to grab a step stool and break up with Sophie Turner face to face, he wouldn’t be dragged on international news now.

I’d like you all to know that, for mysterious reasons, the phrase “koi fish” autocorrected to “Loki fishbowl”.

For context, we work at a pizza place.

Customer: I want two pizzas. Ooh, and a cheesy garlic bread.

Me: (writing down tickets) alright, that’s three.

Customer: Cheesy garlic bread is a pizza?

Me: if it goes in the oven, we call it a pizza. Unless it’s someone’s hand. If that goes in the oven it’s called an accident.

Dominic: You’re very punchable. (Pauses) I mean, platonically speaking.

G: Glad you clarified.

My pronouns are Your/Grace

Did it hurt? When you fell head over heels for me?

#the void shitposts