#the-over-analyst

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #42

Employer: Congrats! You're rated our most friendly employee of the month!

Analyst: Thanks!

Analysts Mind: Yay! Persona #219 received an award! We put a lot of effort into perfecting the friendly but efficient behavior for that one.

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #41

Analyst: *Asks Very Specific Question*

Person: Maybe... Perhaps... Possibly... Depends...

Analyst: ...

Analyst: Thanks for wasting oxygen on that useless answer.

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #39

The struggle of walking that fine line between being a know-it-all, or being that person who just kind of knows it all...

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #37

Person: Hey, could you do me a quick favour?

Analyst: Sure.

Person: Actually never mind, I've got it.

Analyst: Okay

Analyst Mind: *Are you performing some sort of psychological test on me to determine the strength of our relationship based off of how much I push to do the job for you or are you just being nice? No, they're just being nice... Actually, that's a really good idea.*

Analyst: Hey, could you do me a favour...

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #38

Person: Hey, I was thinking we could be friends.

Analyst: Thanks, but I think it's best if you maintain your objectivity until this is over.

Person: Until what is over?

Analyst: Life...

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #35

Analyst: *Can't Figure Out a Problem*

Analyst: *Dies*

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #36

When people tell you a random fact and you act fascinated because there’s only only so many times you can “already know” before you fall into the “non-human” category… and you’ve calculated that this is A good time to not know.

[the-over-analyst]

Overly Analytical Problem #34

Being misunderstood... and misunderstanding.

Analyst: Don't be such an idiot!

Person: See, this...this is hurtful!

Analyst: How is that hurtful?

Person: How is telling someone not to be an idiot hurtful?!?!

Analayst: Yeah. The world is full of idiots and me telling you to NOT be one, indicates that I think you have the potential to be a non idiot.

Person: ???

Analyst: *huff* It means stop acting like an idiot because I know you're not one. It's a sign of... something resembling... care...

Yep...