"Tha--that's not true at all!! I don't have feelings for every iteration of Master Guzma. . .!!" Just the ones that flirt with him a lot or that he's somewhat close to--and even then, that's just little crushes! He never expects or thinks much about getting anything from them!!!
. . .and of course he'd fuck Guzma but he'd fuck a lot of people--it doesn't really say much for him to be comfortable with the idea of fucking some people. . . . .
But he's not sure he would say he has crushes. . .!! Just. . .strong emotional attachments and a great deal of care for them. . .!
. . .look, it's easy for him to develop crushes, okay? Be nice to him or flirt with him and as long as you're an ally of Team Skull--or at least not an enemy of theirs--you're pretty much guaranteed to have him attached to you to some degree!!
. . .Although, for anything besides him stalking you to actually happen, you’d better hope Guzma likes you, because Loch will need his permission before he engages you in any capacity beyond platonic.