The Man In the Mirror
In today's society, it seems that we've learned how to turn our feelings on and off at the drop of a dime, especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. In relationships, we find ourselves losing the vulnerability behind what it means to be a couple and to be open with one another. In friendships, we hold back on a lot of secrets and insight shared because of fear that someone will take advantage of all that we've given them.
Has society become that of a "heartless" generation?
When it comes to gender and emotions, we automatically associate that women are the ones who carry the burdens of vulnerability and emotions on their shoulders. We use the term that women will carry their "hearts on their sleeves," and that may be true. But what about men?
We like to think that men only have the characteristics of being "strong" and often times, not being able to show emotion. But in reality, how true is that?
For starters, let's address the bigger question: Why isn't it considered a normal thing for men to express their thoughts, feelings and emotions towards other people or situations?
In movies, it's often really rare for a male to show vulnerability through emotions of crying or verbally fighting with another male as women often are showcased doing. You have to really consider the effects of something as extreme as this, like how much pressure a male undergoes for not being able to fully express themselves in this light.
How many females have that one male friend that they can tell any and everything to? Now let's do the role reversal - how many of those same men actually come to women with problems and situations that are on their minds? Men grow up with the thinking that they are the protectors. They are the providers and they are the strength of any foundation that they build. With that, the insight of vulnerability and showing emotion isn't taught. It is the reason why children are more likely to run to their mothers about a situation that bothers them versus coming to their fathers first. Though learning how to feel and express your emotions cannot necessarily be something that you can easily teach, is that something that should be considered normal in a household? In our relationships with the men around us?
What is it about men that gives off the vibe that they are not emotional creatures?
If you're a human being, chances are, you have feelings about situations. Some will be positive, and others will not be so. But why is it that it is often encouraged that men are not supposed to cry, and that if a male shows any ounce of emotion, they need to "man up" and get it together?
Are we encouraging with that particular attitude that men shouldn't be open about these things, and instead be #robots with no care as to how they overcome whatever's going on with them personally?
And why isn't this talked about more, if it is such a problem?
One of the most consistent things that women in particular talk about in regards to men is the lack of communication with regards to their feelings. However, it's something that we don't talk about enough. When coming up with references for this particular blog post, the lack of conversation regarding the topic is a bit disheartening. One day, this person holding everything in could be your son, your brother, or maybe it's a male figure that you look up to.
With our newest project, #ROBOT, we'll be showcasing some of the biggest questions and concerns facing men and emotions in today's society. But in this moment, what will you do to change the narrative?
Khadijah Dennis
Founder of The Conqueror Movement
Twitter: @iconquer2012
#IAMMALEPROJECT: http://movement2013.wix.com/conqueror14#!summer-2014/c11b0