21 Things Hriob is no longer allowed to Do [to be expanded on in the future]:
Attempting to sell alcohol to Buddhists is wrong.
Attempting to force-feed alcohol to Buddhists is even more wrong.
Vapor caps on any liquor container whose contents approach or surpass 60 proof are no longer optional. Give those eyebrows a chance to grow back, ey?
Being told that you’re loud enough to raise the dead is not reason to panic and start screaming that the zombie apocalypse is nigh, especially Sober.
No longer allowed to challenge Oni to Drinking contests. I don’t care how close you were to beating that last one, The entire Youaki Mountain was dry for a week thanks to you.
Not allowed to get insanely drunk with Daichi without supervision Ever.
No longer allowed to douse people in alcohol as though it were sports drink after the ‘big game’. The last thing we need is liquid fuel poured on the Phoenix.
The term ‘sake bomber’ is not reason to make explosives out of ’ ‘rice wine’ for tactical public personal ANY use
Daichi is decent at giving advice, sober, with a grain of salt on certain topics. Taking his advice while drunk as the ‘Word of God’ or nearest equivalent is right out.
No, firing two Hakkero-units at each other at point blank is not a good idea, and probably voids any warranty that might have come with them.
Firing more than two Hakkero-units at each other under such conditions is something that should not even be considered, EVER.
Just because I CAN make something subjectively better, does not mean I objectively SHOULD attempt to do so. Let that sink in a bit.
Singing loudly in Finnish is a good way to get noticed. Not necessarily a good way to get noticed and Appreciated. Know the difference.
Not allowed to offer Peanut Butter to Momiji or Kagerou.
Should not replace the contents of Hiei’s various vials and containers with sake, beer, mead, whiskey, or any other known form of alcohol. Mislabeling is never a good thing.
Not allowed to ‘invent’ new forms of alcohol to circumvent the above list item for any reason whatsoever.
Not allowed to have ‘storm-offs’ with Akira. Last time it rained cats and dogs the human village had to deal with the triple threat of cold endemics, allergies, and mass wet dog smell for weeks.
When traveling, greeting people on the road politely is acceptable. Sneaking up and giving them ‘surprise hugs’, no matter how well they know you, is not. Even one person sent to Erin due to ‘accidental’ broken ribs is one person too many.
'Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon' and 'Never Laugh at Live Dragons', while coming from the motto of a 'fictional' school for wizards and witches, and a fictional halfling respectively, are not only Literal, but Metaphorical Advice to be followed. Yes, not just ‘guidelines’.
Giving Narau ‘self-demonstrating articles’ was fun when it was the ‘Pranking book of Pranks’ or the ‘Encyclopedia of Encyclopedias’, but giving her self-demonstrating articles in the lines of the ‘Darkest book of Darkness’ or ‘Evil book of Evil’ is just asking to get attacked again.
The Necronomicon does not make for a good bedtime storybook, EVER. I don’t care if you are drunk enough where you garble the words so that its no longer as damaging, that is STILL playing with fire.
