Mar 7, 2018
okay, but kelly clarkson’s new album......SO GREAT.
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okay, but kelly clarkson’s new album......SO GREAT.
Just made the connection that Dan Stevens who plays the Beast in the new Beauty and the Beast ALSO plays David in Legion which I have been watching and ah. This makes me so happy. He is GREAT.
In times of grief, initially, I think “I am okay”. I don’t necessarily try to put up a front so people think I am strong. However, I do try to keep it together. Somehow grief always wins. And this grief took me by surprise.
He was someone I saw every day at school. He was a year behind me, studying the same major. He was in my tutoring group and in classes I was a teaching assistant for. I cannot say we were best friends, I am not sure we would have even called each other friends. But whenever we saw each other, whether in the hallways of health science building, or out at the local bar, there was this genuine sense of care.
He had a heart of gold, and the smile that welcomed everyone. He was always, and I mean always, helping someone. Whether it be a service project, a mission trip, even a small act of kindness. He encouraged and believed in others with true sincerity.
When I found out he had passed away, I was in shock. It can’t be true I thought to myself, all day, I thought it was some horrific dream. This person who I saw every day, this person who was so immensely involved around campus. My aunt asked, did you have many classes with him? I began to say no. Then broke down because I was saddened that I hadn’t gotten to know him outside of our occasional “hello” and “how are you”’s, and realizing how empty campus would be without him. I grieve for his family, for his girlfriend, for his friends, for all the people he has made an impact on. I felt guilt for not attending the funeral because I wasn’t a close friend and thought my presence would be awkward surrounded by those who knew him far better than myself. There are no words that can comfort the loss, but I pray for peace for everyone. I am sad and a little angry that this world will no longer be graced with such a kind human being. However, I am grateful for those shared hello’s and the honor to know such a wonderful person.
does someone else want to make adult decisions for me? because i feel incapable to do so... also i keep having dreams about losing my teeth, which apparently means i feel like i have no control. so that’s cool.
so adult life is approaching awfully fast, and i’m nervous but quite excited too... anxious for major changes, but open to new opportunities and hopefully adventures... ahhh. how is one supposed to feel as they cross the bridge into adulthood... or have i been in adulthood? who knows.
feelin’ personally attacked by life right now... everything is fine, just little things are hitting me like nuclear bombs. but it’s ok i guess :\
i feel like 98% of the time i stress myself out whenever i am invited places and then scare myself out of doing things and convince myself i don’t want to do them anyway... is this anxiety?? this can’t be a healthy thing. lol
i just want to order garlic parmesan wings that only have garlic, parmesan cheese, and butter on them.