#thenvs.now

[suicidenotes-and-opiates]

Summer of 2014 - Winter of 2018

The first photo was at a cheap trap motel called the westark when I was staying where ever I could and strung out on meth and opiates. I was 20, or about to be.

The second is 5 days ago at 17 ½ months clean at bryans family’s over the holidays in texas. 24.

There is about 50-60 lb difference in the pictures. I feel so huge now.

I’m clean now. I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore. I really don’t eat healthy lol and I’ve had a child since then..

But I almost feel like I looked better then. I know I’m attracted to unhealthy things though but it bothers me. Everyone says I look better now.. I know I wasn’t happy with my self or body then either but when people say I look healthy I think they mean fat.

[suicidenotes-and-opiates]

Summer of 2014- I was coming down and sick withdrawing felt like hell.

Today. Or yesterday. Lol 11/29/18

17 months and 3 weeks clean from everything.

[suicidenotes-and-opiates]

April 2014 I was 82 lbs at one point so this was 82-87 lbs somewhere in there

September 2018 135-140 it fluctuates..

[suicidenotes-and-opiates]

Summer of 2014 - Winter of 2018 The first photo was at a cheap trap motel called the westark when I was staying where ever I could and strung out on meth and opiates. I was 20, or about to be. The second is 5 days ago at 17 1/2 months clean at bryans family's over the holidays in texas. 24. There is about 50-60 lb difference in the pictures. I feel so huge now. I'm clean now. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. I really don't eat healthy lol and I've had a child since then.. But I almost feel like I looked better then. I know I'm attracted to unhealthy things though but it bothers me. Everyone says I look better now.. I know I wasn't happy with my self or body then either but when people say I look healthy I think they mean fat.