What does a fair workload look like in your relationship? 34M 29F
My 34M and my partner 29F have been having pretty intense disagreements about the workload in the house. She does more cleaning where I do more maintenance. She's upset with me for not doing enough around the house but I feel like I pull my weight and do my fair share. Me: Cooking, dishes, bins, laundry, grocery shopping, only one that drives, all admin and appointments. Her: Cleaning the living room, bedrooms, bathrooms and kitchens. From neatening to deep cleans. Is she being unreasonable or am I under-delivering?
Sit down together, list everything that needs done, and come up with a chore chart. Together. Chores might switch back and forth on a weekly or monthly basis if that helps. Sitting down and coming up with a plan together should help give both of you a voice, as well as potential experience in how time and energy consuming each chore is if you take turns doing it. This chart can be tweaked as you get more experience and figure out what works for both of you. My suggestion would be that all the regular stuff (cooking, dishes, trash) should be split and the deep cleaning and tidying up should be a together activity on weekends/days off.
Couples counseling should be a consideration as well. Remember, conflict should be Us Vs The Problem. Not You Vs Her.
