Sober is feeling the feelings all the way through. . I was forced to make a difficult decision yesterday morning. One that has had me in tears every hour since. . I awoke Friday morning at O’dark thirty and immediately noticed something was wrong with Lola. . I rushed her into the vet's office the moment they opened. It wasn’t good. . Working from home, being an empty nester with a whole lot of love to give Lola was the perfect sponge being rescued from a tragic situation involving an imperfect human that wasn’t in good health herself. . Lola & I were a perfect match. Bossy, protective, sweet, loving, and grateful. We stuck like glue. . Her medical records showed a rough past and many health issues but we’d see what love could do. . I only had her two and a half years but we loved so well in that short time. Better than many are able to love or be loved in a lifetime. . You see, I’ve learned to feel all the feelings, think the thoughts, say the words, do the things. . Every single day was our best day together. . Even in this wretched pain I know to feel the feelings all the way through so I can get back to the beautiful memories we made. . And to be available to continue to make meaningful memories with those I can still see, hold, hear, and connect with. . Sober is experiencing life awake and aware—all of it. Sober is being alive. . If we didn’t know the agony we wouldn’t appreciate the joy. . My heart is broken. I cannot rest completely, yet. But I will. . If I drank I’d probably be waking up now with a hangover feeling the anguish tenfold and thinking of a million things I did wrong, but living sober I was conscious and clear with every decision I made. I’m cleansing the wound with tears and I will heal. . Thank you, my love, Lola. You loved me in such a unique and powerful way that has taught me so well to just let love flow messy and pure. . #lessonsfromlove #author #theprimeddrinker #loveletter https://www.instagram.com/p/B6ViGDSJFSr/?igshid=18xq9d2i3t4mo
