#therapeutic programs

[marigolds-sorry]

So apparently my therapeutic school is adding Saturday school days to every quarter next year.

In addition to the longer school year we already have.

I'm pretty sure that that is the opposite of therapeutic for a lot of people. 

People need structure, especially people at my school who either get overwhelmed by possibilities or create unhealthy structures when they're left to their own devices. 

But I need to structure my life around space. I need a lot of time to be alone so I can recharge. I need as many days off as I can spare, and my weekends are precious in that way. School is an energy drain for me, especially this school. Success is exhausting. Dealing with poor social skills and self-destructive people is exhausting. And I get that for 198 days a year. 

I need a fucking break.

[marigolds-sorry]

I am fucking done with public school.

All the system has done for me during high school is let me down, again and again. I'm still in the process of getting an IEP. I'm in a class for truant kids because there are no therapeutic programs for kids like me because I'm too "high-functioning". And I am still drowning in my schoolwork and my emotions, forced to remain in the building all day with nowhere to go that feels truly safe. I feel like I'm floating in space, completely untethered with nowhere to go. In the past year, there are only two places where that hasn't been the general feeling for me: therapeutic summer camp, and the hospital.

I can't do this anymore. I can't function in a mainstream classroom, and I can't afford going to a therapeutic school without financial aid from the school district. As if that's going to happen.

This is hell. This is fucking HELL.