#there is light

[eddiediaaz]

got a call from a social worker today after my doctor requested it and she was so sweet. i explained that i don't know if i wanna go through the public mental health system again cause i need more than 5 to 10 free sessions (it's usually the maximum amount of free therapy the public healthcare system can offer) and i cannot start over with a 4th therapist again knowing it will end 2 months later, and she said she agrees. and that they will get me more help, and that i qualify for the "second stage" of public health funded mental health care. i just gotta wait a couple weeks but yeah.

i feel so relieved to finally being able to possibly start therapy again soon, even if i'm currently unemployed. i thought i would have to wait to find a job + wait 3 months until the private insurance kicks in and then still spend a lot of money out of pocket for it. i feel listened to and i very lucky. the social worker gave me her number and said i can call her whenever until i get the call for the next step in a few weeks. i also started antidepressants again yesterday, a smaller dose than last time, to start with. i hope this works out well because truly i've been feeling so out of my depth the last couple of months.

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

Tuesday Snippet

Tagged by @kingsofeverything to share a snippet from my WIP. Here’s the latest from Arise, Fair Sun. 

“Do we need a story?” Harry asks after a moment. “Like a getting together story?” 

“I don’t think there are any interviews on this red carpet,” Louis answers. “The pictures will do enough talking. Like I said, people are gonna make shit up anyway, why give them any sort of verbal confirmation?” 

“But what about the party?” Harry presses. “People are bound to ask about us.” 

“Tell them to mind their own fucking business?” 

“Louis, come on,” Harry whines. “We can’t actually say that.” 

“We actually can.” 

“Look, I have no plans to go around advertising our torrid love affair,” Harry says. “Obviously. But we should still be prepared to answer basic questions, shouldn’t we? God forbid we like, I don’t know, blow this whole thing open by not having our stories straight.” 

“Our story isn’t straight, first of all, you’ve already got that bit wrong.”

Harry gives him his best stone cold glare. 

“Okay, okay, fine,” Louis relents, holding his hand up in surrender. “I find that in these situations, it’s always best to hew as closely to the truth as possible because there’s less chance of fucking something up.” 

“And what, pray tell, is the truth here?” Harry asks. “Do enlighten me.” 

“That we’ve had a thing for each other since we were teenagers,” Louis says with a wicked grin, “and you finally took the opportunity to seduce me.” 

“Nuh-uh, no way,” Harry balks. “You’re the one with the reputation for dating co-stars, Louis. If anyone did the seducing in this ridiculous scenario, it was you.” 

“I’ve been doing my best,” Louis laughs. “You absolutely refuse to be seduced though, Styles.” 

“Have I told you lately how much I hate you?”

“Not today, no,” Louis replies, his eyes sparkling with mirth. 

Belatedly, Harry realizes that he didn’t contradict the whole “we’ve had a thing for each other since we were teenagers” bit and he probably should have. He knows Louis was just saying it to get under his skin though, twisting their lifelong rivalry into something much more palatable for the masses. He doesn’t actually think they’ve liked each other since they were kids. 

Right? 

Tagging @disgruntledkittenface @indiaalphawhiskey @myfineline @absoloutenonsense @wadey-wilson @twopoppies @conversationsofyou @brightgolden @fallinglikethis @evilovesyou @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @homosociallyyours

[goodbyegal]

I have lost the ability to audibly communicate. Eh-hmm thank you for this beautiful day.

[thedangerboys]

Just a reminder

You get to be happy. It’s a priviledge. You have the power of choice and will, always. Light and dark exist simultaneously. And yes, it usually takes a really uncomfotable (and concurrently worthless and impossible) step to notice the light that’s already there. But the light is always there, and happiness is always available for you no matter what. You don’t have to look for it. You don’t have to be happy or make yourself happy or cheer yourself up. You don’t have to do be someone to be happy. You get to do all of that right now.

[vectortothehairgel]

Source: @randomreasonstolive

[zer0pm]

Imagine Ardyn comforting you.

Even when you didn’t feel like talking, his gestures held much weight in showing how much he adored you.  He takes you in his arms and holds you close.  Your back pressed against him and he presses his forehead against the side of your head, gently nuzzling your neck.  You can feel the scruff of his beard as he slowly ran his jaw up and down your neck and across your shoulders.  It didn’t hurt, if anything, the feeling was rather soothing.

Ardyn: “We will go through this together.  You’re not alone.”

He turns you around and grasps both of your hands in his, placing them atop his his chest where his heart would be.

Ardyn: “If time cannot heal this wound.  Then allow me.  Let me carry the weight of all of your sadness, all your pain, all your burdens.  I will bear it all just for the promise that a smile graces your face.”

You smile at how mushy he was being, you look up to see his satisfied smile.  The glint in his amber eyes that showed you that he was sincere.

Ardyn: “Just like that...”

He takes your face in one of his hands hands and runs this thumb tenderly across your cheek.  Ardyn’s eyes drop to your lips, the smile entrancing him even as it fell as you watched him bringing his face closer to yours.  You meet in between and knew that everything was going to be alright.

For @mystichealeronline who deserves all the happiness in the world.  Thank you for inspiring this.

[priestmiracle]

-I remember the night we met.

You told me the world may seem dark...

But there is light.