#theshuffler

[watchdogs]

STARING INTO THE ABYSS

It’s WRENCH again. Sitara told me to stop logging into her account, so Hawt Sauce offered to HELP ME lock her out to deliver some major news. No doubt I AM IN major trouble with the boss-lady and she’s working hard as HELL to get back in, so time is severely limited here. By the way, she keeps making fun of my use of caps, but that’s making fun of my self-expression. Shame on her. And ShE caN’t stand it when they are maDe compleTely random.  Confession time: it tickles tHE old wigglies when she goes into PSYCHotIC rage mode. But hey, At LeAsT I DoN’t AlTeRnAtE eVeRy LeTtEr LiKe I dId In HiGh ScHoOl! OUCH, right?

Onto serious business! I’ve been digging into TONS of research about our local SHUFFLER legend and I’ve mapped it all out scientifically for you. Without further doo-doo, here’s it is in all its TENTACLEd Splendor:

What are those numbers? I’m glad you asked. They are SCIENCE. Pull up a desk and I will educate your brain.  (1) People claim to have seen its face. I have seen PAINTINGS of it. Graffiti. But this is not its face. It’s a dimensional probe, flat so it can slip through the TIMESPACEFOLDS. It has sensory organs on it to report back DATA. (2) Since it is preoccupied with dimensional travel, it must have some kind of badass defensive system. I went with BLOWFISH spikes because spikes > ALL. (3)  It must have tentacles. SCIENCE demands it. (4) I spent a lot of time in a lot of books trying to figure out why it makes shuffling noises. It turns out animals with a lot of wiGGly things probably shuffle. SCIENCE. I call them shufflation appendagery. (5) If Spielberg taught us anything, it’s that other dimensions produce a kind of SLIME-WOMB barrier that leaves you SOAKED when you come back out. The shuffler probably has dimensional PARASITES that eat it all up after he’s back from travel. It’s very likely some of them followed it through when it probed, so I’m watching for them. 

I realize there may be some flaws in my theory, but it’s got to be CLOSe, right? I’ll probably get this thing INKED on my lower back. Maybe have the guy clean up the design a little. UH OH. That sounds a LOT like Sitara’s motorcycle outside. GOTTA RUN. If you have ideas on Shuffler anatomy, please share them with us. EXPECT RADIO SILENCE, BUT STAY SHUFFLIN’.

[watchdogs]

YOU WERE RIGHT

You know, even though the Shuffler is WITHOUT A SINGLE POSSIBLE DOUBT, ONE-HUNNARD-PERCENT real, I like to keep a healthy skepticism before I get excited about things. That’s just who I am.  But you guys were RIGHT. I can hear BENNY in the ambient sounds of idle machinery. But hey---healthy SKEPTICISM... Josh has given me a cleaned up file of some audio that was running on another frequency next to Benny's laptop to share with you guys.

Here >> http://bit.ly/AudioSitaraTumblr

YOU DECIDE. Get to work, people. I’m going to go start building my own PROTON PACK!

[watchdogs]

EMERGENCY POST-THING

PEOPLe!!! We have entered FULL ANIMAL FARM. Like all posts are EQUAL but some are MORE EQUAL than others. Sitara’s gone full FASCIST mode to remove the truth about the Shuffler. She’s even DELETING or EDITING posts from people trying to seek the truth. Is she in CAHOOTS with the Shuffler?! I’m staring at her right now. She’s staring back like she KNOWS. My fellow Shufflites… do not let her silence us. Keep posting. We’ll find the TRUTH even if she thinks it’s a waste of DEDSEC’s time and energy… or if she’s already LOST HER AUTONOMY to the Shuffler’s pandimensional mental assault and is secretly plotting our doom. The look on her face right now tells me I may be the first VICTIM. Keep me in your PRAYERS AND/OR PAGAN RITUALS. WRENCH OUT.

[watchdogs]

ON THE TRACKS, IN THE TRENCHES

SHUFFLITES, you never cease to AMAZE! It’s fan-FREAKIN-tastic to get this kind of DedSec support (EpicStreamMan, I’m lookin’ at you! BTW, I always read that as EPIC STEAM MAN which is even more epic). We know this isn’t a hoax, and we’re going to PROVE it.  Once we do—we’ll… lock ourselves up in padded rooms and wish to BAJEEBUS we were wrong. ANYWAYS. The TRUTH is everything!

INinja_DragonI has been talking to Benny… from the OTHER DIMENSION. Yes, Benny. WE HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. But now what?! Skauron’s been hearing Benny around the hackerspace, which is both terrifying and completely terrifying. Also a lead. Does anybody have a spirit board? Josh and I are going to PROBE these noise, but we could use some help. I know Lumi’s on the case with her VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS.

KlockoBL has been finding some suspiciously named files out there using a hex editor. Something about a PORTAL. This is HUGE. Was this part of the original investigation before our TRAGIC TEENS were swallowed up? Is this portal their way out? Or our way IN? He seems to think it’s related to a specific time. This COMPLETELY lines up with my own research – Shuffler activity goes NUCKING FUTS in the early spring months with most documented disappearances in APRIL. Let’s hope KLOCK0 lives up to his name and figures out a timeline here.

We’ve got DizzyDave studying those WHACKED OUT symbols people keep finding. Will he crack the code?

Legend has it this thing does NOT take kindly to people snooping, so if you hear SHUFFLING, run. And stay away from cracks. In the walls. In the sidewalk. Loan your plumber a belt, because it’s NOT worth the risk, people!!!

JOIN US:

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Discord Chat Server

[watchdogs]

Happy New Year!

We celebrated in typical DedSec fashion: loud and proud. Pretty sure Wrench and Marcus still have hangovers. You really gotta keep hydrated, kids.

A bunch of leads poured in after our last post. We’re loving it, so keep ‘em coming. We also got a lot of questions about how we work, so I figured I’d explain a bit.

We each pick our own ops to research and then pitch them to the group. Whoever is interested joins in. Those who aren’t interested, don’t. Sometimes there’s not enough to keep more than one or two people busy on a single op, even if a lot of people want to do it. If there’s a lot of interest, and a lot to do, that’s when the whole group throws in on something. It’s different each time.

Right now Wrench is following up on the Nudle stuff. Josh picked up on some strange noises coming out of Prime_8 (the jerks). Marcus and I are following up on the disappearances. One of our own disappeared a while back, so this one hits close to home. Kid named Benny. Benicio. He’s a good guy, and not the kind to just drop off the grid without warning. All of us are really invested in this one. I’m sure you can understand why. For now it’s just Marcus and me working on it because we don’t have enough for the others to do yet.

I think we’re dealing with a couple different causes on this one. The disappearances are too random. Whoever is taking the homeless isn’t the same person (or people) taking tech savvy college kids. I’m betting on something sketchy with one of the tech giants. Marcus is betting on the mafia. Could be both. Or neither.

For those of you who keep sending us messages saying it’s The Shuffler, or The Hook, or Bigfoot… please stop. Those are urban legends and just waste our time.

Again, happy New Year, guys! Here’s to 2017 being a good one.

[thebaeblogs]