It was a cold winter day in Sharance, and Raven could feel the wind gusting through the cracks in her window shutters. This was her last day living in this house. After over a decade, it was time for her life to change.
Since it was too early to walk over to the nearby mansion, Raven enjoyed a peaceful morning with Rose by her side. The little wooly followed her around, as if she knew that Raven was nervous about something and that she needed to be comforted.
Gaius was still asleep when Raven finally left the house and headed towards Sofia’s home. The two girls had decided that it would be best for Raven to get ready for the wedding at the mansion, as there would be no risk of soot covering her wedding dress. She was worried that it was still too early to knock on her best friend’s door, but was relieved to find that the girl was just as eager to get the day started as she was.
After they had greeted each other, Sofia led Raven to her bedroom, where she had been keeping their dresses, make-up, and everything else they would need for the wedding. Shara arrived shortly after, and Karina appeared fashionably late, claiming that she had slept in, as usual.
The four girls got ready together. And while Sofia, Karina, and Shara chatted, Raven remained silent, her nerves bubbling up in her throat and preventing her from joining in on the conversations. She allowed Sofia to do her hair and make-up, and watched in silence as Karina painted her nails. Once they were done, Shara threaded a flower through her hair, and they all stared at Raven in awe.
“Phillip, are you coming?” Raven was already curled up in Phillip’s bed, waiting for the man to finish up whatever he was doing so that he could join her. It was a week after their engagement, and now that all the excitement from the had died down, Raven was looking forward to having a peaceful weekend with her fiance.
The woman eventually sat up straight, leaning forward to pet Ivy, who was sleeping at the foot of the bed. “You’ve been over there forever!”
A few moments later, Phillip finally joined her and she immediately laid back down and moved to be as close to him as possible. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she mumbled, “Finally... I missed you...”
It was a beautiful summer day in Sharance, and Raven took the opportunity to stroll around town. Normally she would head for Privera Forest, or for the desert, but today she was feeling oddly more sociable than usual. She could tolerate the “hellos” and idle conversation that seemed to ensue with every single person she passed. Surprisingly, she was even enjoying it.
Two days prior, Raven had bought a beautiful blue vase from Sakuya, who claimed to have bought it from a far away town. Though she could go fill it with flowers from the forest, or even those that she was growing outside of the blacksmith, she decided to give Micah a visit. He often had such beautiful plants that were far too rare to be found in the wild, and far too difficult for her to grow on her own.
“Hey Micah... !” she called, waving under the Sharance Tree where the man was working. He jogged towards the entrance to meet Raven, giving her a bright and cheery smile.
“Hey Raven, what brings you here?” he asked.
Raven then proceeded to explain what she was looking for, then waited as Micah went to go pick some freshly picked flowers for her. Upon his return, he insisted that Raven take them for free, so they spent a few moments outside bickering about the amount of money that Raven would pay. She did not like handouts, and also the fact that Micah was clearly just teasing her. Despite this, her voice remained light, and she kept a sincere smile on her face.
“Come here, Mint,” Raven said in a cheerful tone, reaching a hand towards the dog that was chewing a toy only a little ways away from her. Phillip was in the kitchen, cleaning up the remains of the dinner, while Raven sat on the couch with Rose beside her. Of course she had insisted on helping Phillip clean, but the man refused and sent her off to rest. Gods knew she needed it anyway.
Bending forward to give the dog a pat, Raven felt her vision blur ever so slightly. Trying to balance work, reuniting with friends, and visiting her boyfriend had begun to take a toll on her body, and the stress had been ruining her sleep for nights. She was looking forward to cuddling up in bed with her boyfriend later on, but for now, she was just happy to relax.
Once she had given the dog significant attention, Raven turned her head towards the kitchen and called out Phillip’s name. “Hurry up... we’ll clean up the rest later,” she whined, hoping that he voice was loud enough for the man to hear. Her head spun again. “Actually, could you bring me a drink? I need something to keep me awake."
Raven stared at her hands, a voice in her head repeating the same words over and over again. “It’s time… it’s time… it’s time…”
She took a deep breath, watched as dull flames floated above her palms, and then clenched her fists to smother the fire. She dug her nails deep into the skin of her hands, waited, and then released, looking at the marks that she had made.
It had been a long year – a year full of loneliness and pain, but also one overflowing with self reflection and patience and care.
She thought of the year that passed.
“I’m going away.” She had brought up the idea suddenly to Phillip, blurting it out at the first opportunity she had. She saw the look of confusion on his face, so she continued before he had the chance to speak. “Phillip, I’m… I spent a lot of my life living alone and taking care of myself, and as much as I love you and care about you, I need some time to...”
Raven had not really thought about how that would probably sound to him, and she instantly regretted her choice of words. She could not fault him for thinking that she was breaking up with him, but that could not be farther from the truth. She was taking this break to better herself and to better their time together. For so long, Phillip had talked about their future, about getting married and having children and growing old. But there was so much about Raven that was a mystery. Could she cope living a life where she was constantly beside another person? Could she be a mother when she never had a mother of her own? Could she even conceive children, given the body that she had? Would she age like Phillip, or would she be left alone after a lifetime of companionship? Even worse, would her body fail her earlier than anyone could have expected? All of these questions had been rushing through her mind, repeating, repeating, repeating.
Phillip was angry, rightfully so, and she tried her best to rephrase and reassure him that she would be back, but damage had already been done. “No… Phillip, I… I’ll come back. I’m coming back,” she stuttered over her words, panicking as tears welled up in her eyes. “I just need to go away… not away from you; away from Sharance. Away from everything I know. I need to understand who I am before… before I…” Her words drifted and she looked away from Phillip. She looked at Rose, who was playing in the grass and sniffing all the plants and flowers and grew on Phillip’s farm.
Raven took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and then opened them, forcing a smile. “Will you take care of her? Of Rose, I mean.” Another breath. “As a promise that I’ll be back. A year… at most.” She winced at her own words. A year was a long time, and she could not fault him for moving on from her in that time. She honestly felt doubtful that he would wait. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I’ll come back. I promise.”
They talked for a little while longer, and Raven’s memory of the moment faded and she thought of the weeks after she had left.
At first it felt liberating. A creature of the wild, Raven felt at home in the forest, among her fellow monsters. She slept outside and lived like she had so many years ago. She felt like a child again, when she was alone and dependent on nobody but herself. She recalled all those years after she had first settled in Sharance, when she would disappear into the forest, sometimes for days, and live comfortable in the wilderness. But she would return; she would always return.
Then the loneliness set in. However, she knew her journey was not over, so she found civilization again. Raven stayed in a large town that was much larger and much busier than Sharance. She rented a small apartment and made a meager amount of money by sending jewellery back to Gaius at the shop. An indefinite amount of time was a long time for her father-figure to spend running the shop on his own, especially without the extra income that came from Raven’s accessories. She did not really interact with any of the citizens of the town, and she blended into the crowd.
However, Raven had come to this town with a purpose in mind. One of the defining features of the town was a massive library. The library was an old church that had once belonged to a religion that was all but forgotten. Now, the massive interior was overflowing with thousands and thousands of books. She spent days among the literature, searching for any sort of answers that would help her to better understand herself, her body, her curse.
She must have read nearly a hundred books on curses and monsters and magic before she finally found an answer she was looking for.
FILED UNDER: Curses
TITLE: Transmutation Magic
SUBSECTION: The Forbidden Phoenix
CHAPTER: Lost to Time
One paragraph read as follows:
When man craved the power of the gods, they cursed their families. Passed on from generation to generation, this spell is irreversible, supposedly as a punishment for misusing the powerful magic that had been granted to so few. The spell can skip generations, or it may only be passed on to a portion of the monster’s children. As a result, the descendants of these mages have long since gone extinct. The spell had been forbidden, and ultimately, lost to time.
The rest of the chapter was informative, but she had finally found what she was looking for. After a lifetime of research, those 80 words answered so many of the questions she had always had. She spent weeks mulling over this information, reading over the same sentences over and over again. Acting out in rage in her room, spending the small amount of money she had on alcohol to drown out the pain, and crying until she was choking on her own tears. It took time to accept, but she could not give up as there was still one more important part of her journey, and she refused to allow this knowledge stop her from finishing what she had started.
During her stay in such a large town, she saw countless families with their small children held closely to their chests or toddling along beside them. She thought of being a mother, even with this new information so pertinent in her mind.
Finally, one day she sent a letter to Gaius, containing the few rings he had requested, along with a brief message (normally her packages contained nothing but jewellery, as she wanted to minimize contact with her old life as much as possible). I’m moving. Don’t send anymore letters to this address. I’ll send again once I have settled in to my new home.
And then she was off.
Her final destination was far, but she finally reached it, grateful that her wings could help her travel so quickly. On the outskirts of a small town, there was a large, isolated building. She went inside.
The main room was a circle with nothing but a few chairs and a desk. On either side of the circle there were doors leading to different parts of the building. The door on the right said “OFF LIMITS” in big, dark letters. A dwarf woman sat at the front desk, obviously startled by Raven’s sudden appearance.
Raven had to make a case for herself. The building was an orphanage, and she wanted to volunteer at the old, dilapidated building.
The only child Raven had been around since she was very young was Monica, but Monica had grown up, and Raven needed to understand herself better. She needed to know if she was patient enough to be a mother. She needed to know if she even had a single motherly bone in her body.
The dwarven woman had given in, believing Raven’s story that she had been adopted from a young age and just wanted to give back to the system that had saved her (all lies). She spent the next several months among the dozens of children that the orphanage cared for. Some children were young and full of energy, while others had been there for years and had regressed into something that was so similar to what Raven was like when she was a child.
She sent a message to Gaius, telling her where she was, and that she might not have as much time to work on the jewellery, but she would still try to send as many pieces as possible (the children, as it turned out, loved watching her work and many even insisted that they help her to the best of their abilities). Along with that message, she sent her first letter to Phillip, though she decided against leaving a return address. Just be patient for a few more months. I miss you. That was all the letter had said.
At first Raven was hesitant around the children, but all of them warmed up to her so quickly that she felt her heart open up immediately. She loved them. She loved every single one of them, though one particular child stood out. The child was mute, but Raven understood her regardless. They bonded, the child was adopted, and it seemed like that was Raven’s sign that it was time for her to leave.
During her stay at the orphanage, Raven forgot about her old life. She forgot about all the uncertainties she had, and she forgot about all the fear she had felt.
She knew who she was.
The trip home took a long time, and Raven relished in her final days living among the wilderness, but she was also ready to go home. Once she finally reached Sharance, she spent a little over a week settling in before she finally made the trip to go visit Phillip.
Raven had no idea that Konohana was having a bazaar that day, so she was surprised when she saw the small town so loud and crowded. But she pushed through the crowd and found him. There he was, talking to two girls that she recognized as being citizens of the small town, though she had only ever spoken to them in passing. She stared at him, her face blank, afraid, unsure of what she should say or do.
She waited, as if the last year had not been long enough to wait for this moment.
[Text:] I need a favor. [Another text, 10 seconds later:] like a massive huge immense incredible favor!! It's not bad, I promise!
/Sitting on top of her made bed with Bambi besides her, a face mask on and a glass of wine on her bedside table as she scrolls through her phone on several different websites/ Hm, not cute enough. I need something that screams I’m cute- Bambi is this outfit cute? /Shoves her phone in front of her cat’s face with a sweet meow in response/ I can’t understand cat, Bambi-
/Her confusion dies down when she hears that familiar chime and turns the phone back to her. Noticing the name, the texts, the brunette gasps and quickly types up a response within twenty seconds/
/Text:/ A hi Mimi would be a nicer way to start BUT WHATS THE FAVOR PHILLY!!!! :D But if it’s actually really really really bad I’m stealing Mint for again!!!!!!
… ? [Blinks as he notices texts on his phone as he walks into his house, plopping down on the couch before typing out a response.]
Text: 36 missed messages? What is wrong with you.
Text: Are you talking bout some guy you slept with? Mim I think if you pay him that’s considered prostitution …
Text: Unless it is and you got real lonely last night. Then yes, you should pay him for his services.
Text: You even got breakfast included w/ your fee :^) [long string of breakfast emojis follow]
(Feeling the excessive vibrations from her phone, Minori takes it out and stares, mouth open at the text messages. Oh boy, he was getting it now.) (Text:) EXCUSE U, i didnt sleep with HiM he is just cooking ME fooOD after he got me wasted >:( hes a bartender JACKASS
(Text:) but seriously DO I PAY HIM FOR THE FOOD OR NOT? DO I JUST LET HIM STARVE BC I DIDNT PAY HIM NOW HE CANT BUY INGREDIENTS TO COOK HIMSELF FOOD?!
(Text:) im going to ruin ur wedding now (knife emoji)
