#thetinderexperiment

[wolf--watch-blog]

The Tinder Experiment on The Project

Do you think they are being reckless or heroic? 

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

Goodbye

Well, it’s been an interesting time. I’m ending this experiment for a number of reasons, but the most prominent one is that this experiment has begun to bore me. I haven’t written a new post in 10 days because I frankly haven’t used the app much. I went on it today, swiped a bit, got a few matches, and got 2 lines into about 3 conversations before they each ended. The whole thing is frustrating. How is one supposed to connect on a holistic level when being judged on superficial characteristics? I am very guilty of this and I suppose a victim in a few circumstances. Hey, a girl doesn’t like tall blonde guys, not her type, (left). I’ve done the same thing on a very large number of occasions. 

The thing is, I didn’t start this experiment intending on “connecting” with anyone. I thought I’d meet interesting people and write about them, like passing through an art gallery or writing a travel log. But on a few rare occasions, I did connect with people. As of now, these connections haven’t gone anywhere, but the action of using the app I think raised my expectations to the point where I hoped something good would come of it. At the start, I knew that I wasn’t actually going to “hook-up” with anyone, so it was with a mindset of conversation that I approached interactions. However, these have proven largely unsuccessful. This, combined with heightened expectations, has left me a bit pessimistic about the whole thing.

Thanks for following and/or reading. It’s been an interesting thing to play a part in. Today I am going to get rid of my tinder profile. This experiment is done. Thank you for your time and attention. 

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

Post-Vacation Update

Hello,

So I was gone for a bit. I went on vacation for a week and decided not to write, but still decided to experiment. There are three brief updates I’d like to give you:

1. K texted me and we talked all day. K is a school teacher who I had spoken with before and we seemed to really hit it off. I enjoyed talking with her and she enjoyed speaking with me. We may be getting drinks next weekend.

2. So I went on vacation in a very Christian environment. The place is a sort of family camp, and there are chapel services everyday (not mandatory or something weird like that). My family has enjoyed this for years, we water ski, swim, tube, relax, and hearing amazing music by a fantastic orchestra and hear from some amazing speakers. So I was curious, in this sort of environment, would there be any fellow Tinder people? the answer was no. For the entire week, not a single person within 10 miles of this very populous, Christian area was on Tinder. 

3. I returned home from vacation on Saturday, and on Sunday, I made an adjustment to my profile. My about me stayed exactly the same, except I added “Christian.” immediately after my height. I wanted to see how many people would swipe after seeing my extended profile after seeing that listed. 

I am a Christian, my faith informs how I live and act and it has been interesting to see how that has played out on the tindersphere as I have been looking further into this realm. As of now, I have 23 matches, chosen selectively by me over the last two weeks (although only 4 in the last week.) It’ll be interesting to see how this statistic changes in the next week or so. 

Until then, carry on.

-AK

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

Something More

I’ll sum up my past couple of days of Tinder experience in saying that I’ve met someone who is perfect up until now and someone who is in a wheel chair. I will elaborate on these at a further time, but I wanted to address something, well, more. 

I was searching for something in my chrome search bar when this came up. I was searching for “What does it feel like (to take melatonin,” but before I finished typing my sentences was finished by what I can only describe as the deepest urges of humanity. 

In the middle portion is what many imagine to be the worst of pain and the best of pleasure. Getting high, getting drunk, and getting shot. These lead to the outside questions, “What does it feel like to die?” and “What does it feel like to be in love?” 

It hit me when I read this. This is humanity. In no small way, an algorithm designed by a bunch of silicon valley techs was able to parse together the deepest queries sought by man. 

I decided to address this here, on The Tinder Experiment, because if I have gained any insight over the last few weeks of tinkering, it is that the people I am experiencing are mostly human, and perhaps ask the same questions that are listed above.

Thats it for this evening-

Sincerely, 

-AK

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

An Unexpected Twist...

So something happened. Something I didn’t anticipate happening happened. I bought the Tinder upgrade. Yeah, it’s weird, I get it. As you may have noticed from my last post, I was frustrated with how things were going. I was spending time talking to people responsibly, but getting no where. So I paid $10 and got some features. 

Notably, I got unlimited swipes, which I used. Not just on people I thought were attractive, but on everyone. Yes, I’ve swiped right on everyone. From Sunday until right now, I have 177 matches, which is ridiculous. There are so many people. However, even with extensive numbers, there isn’t really anyone I’ve been able to talk to. Seriously, no one at all. Quite frankly, and I know this is insensitive and whatnot, but I’m not attracted to most of the people I’ve “connected with.” Looking through my list, I probably find 10 of my matches attractive, and even after starting conversations, I’ve found it difficult to continue conversations after a few lines. This may be a product of me just not looking over profiles for mutual interests, however, one would think that with increased numbers, one would get a higher return of successful matches. However, this is not the case.

I plan on continuing my current profile for the next week and a half, but starting Sunday, I will reenter as a fresh candidate, but I will be highly selective instead of broadly selective. The constant in this will be my profile, the change will be my choice of other profiles. 

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

A Few Day’s Perspective

So this week has been interesting. Interesting in that I feel successful with how things are going while at the same time I feel very stuck. My total accrued matches since resetting my profile is 19, which I think is a good number, however I’ve only really had conversations with 3 of them, two of whom I’ve continued texting after our initial conversations. 

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. At first I thought that I was just really terrible at conversation, so I looked into perhaps changing the way I began conversations. It could be very true that a “Hello! how are you today?” may not be met with bright eyes. But then, I started thinking more broadly. If I were in a bar and talked to 19 different women who I knew found me, upon first glance, attractive, how many of them would I be able to speak to for more than 5 seconds? In other words, could I carry a good conversation with this many random people in real life? My conclusion to this is no, which then sheds light on how things are going with the conversations I’ve started to generate and continue. Of course I’m not talking to 19 people, I’d either be a master of conversation or be falsely seen as a  male super model. 

Furthermore, I know that I am not what everyone is looking for. I have in no way presented myself as a “one night stand” kind of guy. I’ve pursued conversation, learning about other people, which hasn’t always been the first subject on my matches’ minds. I’ve gotten several “So what are you doing tonight? (insert winky face)” messages on weeknights this week, to which I’ve responded very truthfully. After I don’t “take the hint” those people generally go away.

It’ll be interesting to see as this cycle comes to a point this weekend how things shape up, especially with the new profile. 

Thats all for now.

-AK

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

Reset, and Reward

So Monday evening I decided to take action on my previously stated theory that I could reset and redevelop my profile every week or so. I added some new pictures, my main one being a b&w photo of me laying out on a pool table in a sweatshirt, a hat, and and large headphones with a goofy grin. I added some others too, including a group shot of me with some friends. In my about section, I listed "6'4, law student, writer" and then something about scandal and orange is the new black. I then reset, giving myself a full pool of swipes to swipe through. I used the same standard for swiping as I had previously. I also swiped right on a few people that I had spoken with before. This may be a good litmus test for seeing if my new profile is good or bad, or if they even recognize me at all. That said, I think the new profile is going well. Why do I think that? Because I met someone, like really met someone. I wasn't expecting it, but it happened. We'll call her Sue. Sue is 22, very cute, a little distance away, about 12 miles, roughly 20 minutes. We got to talking. She's intelligent. She's finishing her undergrad this summer and taking the lsats in October. After that, she is traveling in South America for a bit through a couple of churches. Yes, churches; she's catholic. I informed her that I had family that did missions for a bit in South America, she said that was awesome. Eventually, I just said, "so let me know if this is where I ask for your number, because I think it is." I got her number. As you might remember, I spoke with "Angel" a bit ago, who was a church going, bible study leading, 22 year old, who gave me her number. They are definitely different profiles, but this is still weird. It's weird because, even more than Angel, Sue seems very well tailored to my interests. Ambitious, Christian, good looking, wants to be an attorney, is doing missionary work for a bit. I am generally a paranoid person, so this is ticking off a bunch of marks on my radar for personalized set up. But then again, it could be a complete coincidence. Maybe she read my profile and said "hey, good match!" Who knows. I'll update further along, but this is a quite interesting turn. Until next time- -AK

[thetinderexperiment-blog]

I’ve Met Someone

So there’s one person now who I’ve spoken with quite a bit. We’ll call her Sarah. Sarah is nice, she’s a year younger than me, cute, and lives a few miles away. We starting talking about the usual things, and our conversations have gotten more extensive. We’ve talked about our respective interests and future careers. She likes fashion and knows how to tailor well apparently, and during one conversation, informed me that she’d be happy to tailor my clothes if I ever had the need moving forward. It was nice, and appropriate, and not pushy. I don’t know where this will lead, possibly nowhere, but its the first “success” I’ve had in this area. 

I think an interesting aspect of the app is that I can never tell anyone’s intentions in using the app. Hook up? just to talk? an actual relationship? It’s an interesting thing to think about as you speak with someone. 

I also have decided to make no alterations to my profile until the end of this weekend. I think having a solid week of profile views, one full “cycle,” without any changes, may be a good way to test the effectiveness of picture choice, and anything I include in the “about” section. Right now, I only have pictures, but I think that starting Monday I may add a bio. Furthermore, I may delete my current “profile” and restart, if i don’t feel that anything is coming of my current account, just so that people I’ve already swiped or people who have swiped me get another go around. 

-AK