Pairing: BuckyxFem!reader
Warnings: fluff/ post-nightmare Bucky
Sum up: you help Bucky deal with one of his nightmares with some chamomile.
You suddenly opened your eyes as a sharp scream echoed through the walls of the house. Your heart's palpitations increased as you got up from your bed, knowing full well whose screams were. As you hurried through the corridor, you noticed that Sam's door was still closed, so you decided not to wake him up. You could handle the situation by yourself.
Your heart instantly sunk in your chest when your eyes were met with a sweaty Bucky laying on the floor, a blanket covering half of his body and another one under it. The darkness of the room was softened by a blue light, which was coming from the tv, and the air was thick. As you observed him more carefully you noticed that he was shirtless so you looked away fastly, your cheek starting to get red. "Thank god it's dark", you thought.
"Everything okay, Bucky?" you softly asked a few seconds later, slowly entering the living room. Your sweet voice brought him back from his confused state as he turned in your direction, his heart still pumping hard in his chest.
"I'm fine y/n, you don't need to worry", he tiredly said passing a hand through his short drenched hair.
"I heard you screaming, you are lying", you said with a serious tone, your gaze locked on the white wall over his head.
"I'm sorry if I woke you up" he lowered his gaze in shame.
"don't be sorry Buck, I'm here to help you" you widely smiled at him.
He stopped to think about what to say but then he broke the silence again.
"it was a nightmare, a winter soldier-related one" he sighed still shaken from what he remembered about his past as the heartless assassin.
You chewed the interior parts of your cheek, thinking about something that you could do to help him, and then it hit you.
"We can drink some chamomile together if you want, my mom used to make me a cup of it every time I couldn't sleep well" you smiled as you recalled your sweet childhood memories.
Bucky hesitated for a moment but then he remembered what his new therapist told him the other day, that he should let people in, not push them away.
"Sounds great, doll", he said as he slowly got up, fastly reaching for his black t-shirt on the sofa next to him to cover himself.
As soon as your eyes met, butterflies filled your stomach. You didn't know how he managed to always make your legs feel weak every time he looked at you, but you didn't care, you loved it. You softly smiled at him as he approached you until his figure was towering over yours.
"After you", he quietly said letting you exit first from the room like a true gentleman.
You thanked him before leading the way to the kitchen, feeling much safer with him in a gloomy silent hallway than with anybody else in the world. As you stepped into the room you switched the lights on, blinding both Bucky's and your eyes.
"So...do you want to talk about it?" you gently asked him, gradually approaching the counter.
You could tell that his mind was still overthinking about the nightmare as he silently stood next to the counter, his stare blank.
"You don't need to tell me if you don't feel ready to, Bucky" you reassured him with a wide smile. You didn't want to push him if he wasn't ready to open up with you about his past.
You let out a groan as you desperately tried to reach for two mugs that were standing on a too far-away shelf. Even though you were using the tip of your feet to increase your height, you still couldn't make it.
As he noticed you struggling, he hurried next to you, easily gripping the two wanted items from above and handling them to you.
"Thank you...I know that I'm short, sorry" you laughed, shaking your head in the meantime.
"it's okay, doll...you are cute" he giggled too, realizing too late what he split out from his mouth a few seconds before.
It was the first time you had seen him smiling and your heart melted at the sight of him like that. Your eyes slightly widened at hearing what he said, but you tried to play it cool by not saying anything while putting the small pot on the cooker.
The sound of the water boiling echoed around the room, filling up the silence that crept up once again, but it was soon broken by Bucky's deep voice.
"I dreamt about one of the several missions I did as the winter soldier, I..." he paused for a second " I felt the blood of the ones I killed on my hands again, their screams, their fear...I" he couldn't finish as tears started to roll down his bearded cheeks.
Without thinking about it you hurried towards him and tightly hugged him, wanting to ease his pain more than anything else.
At first, Bucky froze. The feeling of hugging someone was fresh in his mind and he needed more time than others to process what was happening.
After a few seconds, he relaxed, protectively embracing your small figure, taking in all of your sweet cologne. He closed his eyes as he let you comfort him in a way that he didn't let anybody else do, trying to keep his metal arm away from your back as much as possible. He was ashamed of it, he hated it. It was a dangerous weapon and it shouldn't have been near something soft and pure like your skin. He hoped that you didn't notice it but you did. As soon as your bodies freed from the embrace, you gently took is metal hand in yours, starting to draw little random circles on its palm.
"You shouldn't be ashamed of what you are Bucky...this"- you said raising his hand a little bit- "is not something you should be afraid of...it's a part of you and you can control it, you get to decide what to do with it now" your lips touched the cold surface as you softly kissed one of its knuckles, wanting to show him that it was harmless.
His eyes slightly widened at the sight in front of him and sighed in appreciation, wanting more than anything else to feel the softness of your lips again.
Everything around you disappeared. It was only Bucky and you now, your gazes locked into one another. As your faces got closer you could feel your heart pumping hard and your skin shivering at the thought of what was going to happen in a matter of seconds. Your lips were just a few inches away, Bucky's hand already cupping one of your cheeks, but, everything was ruined by Sam's tired voice.
"What's going on here? it's 3 freaking am" he suddenly rushed into the kitchen startling both of you.
"oh I see, y'all are hooking up ugh" he widely smiled and then laughed seeing the shock plastered on both of your faces.
"Don't mind me then, I'm going to go back to sleep and let you do your thing...love birds" he giggled and then rushed back into the corridor, luckily missing the towel you threw at him annoyed.
"Well, we should drink the chamomile and try to go back to sleep too" you cleared your voice trying to hide your visible embarrassment, filling up the two mugs in the meantime.
Bucky nodded scratching his head and trying not to meet your gaze, as he also felt embarrassed due to what happened.
" Here you go", you softly said by handling him the steamy mug.
He slightly smiled taking it in his hands and thanking you.
"Let's seat on the sofa, shall we?", you proposed, before taking a little sip of the drink, slightly burning your tongue in the process.
Bucky nodded and then offered you his metal hand to take, which you kindly accepted, giving him a sweet smile in return. You were so happy that he was finally embracing the idea that he wasn't dangerous anymore.
You quietly walked hand in hand towards the living room, where the tv was still emanating a dim bluish light that softened the gloomy environment.
"Do you like cartoons? I think Tom&Jerry is streaming at the moment" you said by picking up the remote controller and switching channel.
"Is it still a thing now? I remember watching them in the forties when the series first came out" his eyes lighted up as a little child would do during Christmas day.
"yes it is, they made like more than 100 episodes for sure" you giggled, taking a seat on the sofa and bringing your legs closer to your chest.
He hesitated for a moment as he looked down at the spot on the floor where he had slept on and then back at the sofa, indecision plastered all over his tired face. You knew that it wasn't his fault and that he needed some kind of push to do something new, so you tapped the place next to you and gently smile at him. He smiled back in appreciation for what you did and sank into the pillows, your bodies now mere inches away.
An awkward silence crept up between the both of you as you were both overthinking about the not-happened kiss in the kitchen, but you tried your best to hide it by pretending to be interested in the tv program. Bucky seemed to feel the same way as he drank his chamomile in silence, looking straight at the cartoon and often shifting weight from side to side on the sofa.
"You can go to sleep if you want, you have done more than enough y/n" he turned his head in your direction, his puppy eyes locked on yours.
" I really don't mind it Buck...can I..." you shily said by pointing at his hair.
He slightly furrowed his brows in confusion but then he nodded, shifting back his body to lay his head on your legs after leaving the empty mug on the floor. His right cheek was now pushed on your thighs as he was looking at the tv while you slowly started to caress his short soft black hair, trying to lully him to sleep. After a few moments, you began to hear soft little snores coming from Bucky's figure and you smiled, happy that he was finally resting in peace after the nightmare. You slowly got closer to his forehead and placed a delicate kiss on it and as a result, he mumbled in appreciation.
"sleep tight cutie", you said before closing your eyes too, letting sleep have the best of you a few minutes later.