12. Things you said when you thought I was asleep
“Louis?” Liam’s voice is soft and as quiet as possible. He doesn’t really want Louis to be awake, but he won’t be devastated if the boy answers either. When he gets no response, he figures his friend is more than dead to the world.
“So we’ve been doing this whole friends with benefits type thing since… Since Zayn left and I just wanted to know if I’m just a replacement for him? I mean, I won’t be upset. These past few months have been the best time of my life, but I need to know if I’m getting in to deep. I told Sophia about it since it didn’t seem right to not tell her, you know? She said she’s fine with it. She actually seemed surprised that we hadn’t already been shagging.”
Louis shifts in his sleep and Liam eyes him carefully. He waits another moment until his friend stills once more.
“I asked her if you could love two people at once because I do love you- you’re my best mate. She laughed at me and said no. She said that I was confusing sex for feelings. I guess maybe I am. I know you had a hard time this year since Eleanor left and then Zayn left a week later, but I guess I just need reassurance that this isn’t going to end like those cheesy movies where the friends start sleeping together out of boredom and then they both catches feelings but the one tries so hard not to show it and ends up hurting their friend and… I guess I just don’t want to get hurt and I definitely don’t want to hurt you.”
He reaches out to push the fringe off of Louis’ forehead so he could get a clear view of the boy’s peaceful expression.
“I’d leave her if you asked me to. I would. I would give up anything and everything to be with you, but you’d never ask that of me. You’re too nice. You always sacrifice your happiness for others, but never ask for the same in return.”
Liam sighs and kisses Louis’ temple before turning away from his friend and trying to go to sleep.
Louis’ cracks an eye open and does his best to keep his tears at bay. In the quietest voice he has, he makes his plea.