Letters To a Made Up Lover, Bagginshield Idea
Bungo and Belladonna approach Bilbo one day. They start discussing how he has never gone to the singles parties and they supported it but are still worried for his happiness and as Lobelia has convinced her parents to push for an arranged match between her and Bilbo, they rather encourage it.
For awhile he's shocked silent. Bilbo who is a few years past freshly of age and has never liked Lobelia decides he better find a way out of it and his only thought is that his parents would prioritize a love match like theirs. So he finds himself blurting out a fake story of finding his love on a recent trip to Bree. Poor Bilbo realizes his mistake way to late when he sees his parents relief and joy. Soon his mother is making tea and insisting he sit and tell them all about it. When he is questioned about the details he says it was a handsome dwarf named Thorin with black hair and blue eyes. (I'm thinking Bilbo is a known scholar who gets information from all over so he had been reading some Dwarven history or current letters on the political climate in Erebor, which is not good, or something is where he got the name and description).
Belladonna delightedly insisted he write to his beau and as he couldn't see a way out, Bilbo did.
He wrote a simple address: Thorin, Ered Luin
Bilbo almost wished he hadn't gotten new stationary for his last birthday as the envelopes were embossed with his return address and for such a humiliating thing he would have rather remained as anonymous as possible.
To The Definitely Real And Not Made Up Thorin,
If anyone actually reads this letter I shall be most embarrassed. I suppose I should introduce myself, my name is Bilbo and I am a hobbit. You see I am reaching an age where my parents are concerned for my future happiness as they put it. I have no spouse or intended and a truly nightmarish situation was brought to me because of this.
There has been a girl, Lobelia, who has harassed me since childhood. She is in love with Bag End and has declared many times that she will do whatever it takes to make it hers. Those are also simply not her only flaws. Suffice to say I would be happier if I never had to be within walking distance to her again. Therein lies my predicament, she has asked her mother, who so happens to be a great friend of my mother, to formally arrange a marriage between us. I simply could not stomach the thought and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I told my parents that on my last trip to Bree I found myself a love.
Admittedly it was not my most well thought out plan as I soon discovered when my mother delightedly questioned me for details for hours. Just so you are aware, our first meeting was when I slipped trying to climb off a stool at the bar and you happened to be right there to catch me. We gazed into each-others eyes for however long is considered romantic and then you asked me to join you for pint. I of course accepted since you are an exceptionally handsome dwarf with black hair like the night and blue eyes like forget me nots (I may have also said you were exceptionally tall and had very muscular arms, mother was delighted with those details).
I thought that would be the end but no, it soon spread to the whole village that I had a dashing dwarven sweetheart. I have told far to many nosy neighbors that it was love at first sight, that we spent the whole week together, and now I am being forced to write and mail letters to a very made up dwarven boyfriend. I have no idea how I will dig myself out of this hole. Will I have to write return letters and try to mail them from somewhere else? If I don't get any letters will they make me marry Lobelia or can I say I'm too heartbroken?
If someone is reading this I'm sure you are having a good laugh. My hope is that it just gets tossed in a fire somewhere when they can't find the recipient.
Your Beloved (fake) Beau Bilbo
What I thought for the rest of the story is that Bilbo was telling the truth about Thorin catching him falling off the stool since drink and heights don't make for good balance, and the long stare and handsome dwarf, Bilbo just didn't actually realize it was Thorin. So the letters go on, a couple a week just talking about all sorts of things, Bilbo starts using them as almost a diary. Sometimes he even talks about what things he'd like to do to Thorin or get done to him in the bedroom. But of course he still thinks Thorin is fake but also no harm in fantasizing about that handsome dwarf he based his lie off of right?
Anyway a few months in, cause I imagine it would take a couple weeks to months for the letters to arrive even in one direction, they get a damaged letter that they can make out B on it and know it came from Ered Luin. Bilbo gets it and the legible parts of the letter paint a bad picture of Ered Luin being under attack by goblins. It leads to a shire wide meeting with the Thain leading it discussing helping Bilbo's love. They decide to contact the rangers and send some bounders along as well as healing supplies and preserved food. Bilbo just assumes the letter was supposed to go to Bree or somewhere to request aid.
He keeps sending letters but never gets another back. No one is suspicious because of the war with the goblins.
Then one day there is a knock on the door and Bella excitedly yells for Bilbo. He comes out from his study and there in the door is the dwarf from Bree. Also a good bit of dwarves behind him. Thorin says who he is and Bilbo is so shocked he faints and Thorin catches him. Bella welcomes them all in and Thorin puts Bilbo in a chair while Bungo gets the smelling salts. Bella makes tea and grabs snacks and settles everyone in before asking Thorin a million and one questions. He eventually admits that they need aid. He has his company who are all here and about 50 other dwarves, mothers and children and the sick or injured and they need a place to stay to overwinter before traveling to Erebor. Of course Bella and Bungo get on it immediately, contacting neighbors, finding rooms and tents and setting a large celebratory potluck since Bilbo's Thorin had survived and was here.
Bilbo and Thorin get married because Bilbo does not want Lobelia and does not want to have to admit to the entire shire he's been fibbing to them for like a year or more (also he desperately wants to get his hands all over Thorin) and Thorin really needs the marriage to make sure his people are safe over the winter and because of the political climate back in Erebor it would look better if he came back married to a love match.
The idea for why Thorin is traveling to Ered Luin is that Thror is getting way to violent and Thrain has decided/realized that the only way to protect his family and Erebor is to kill his father. He want's no blame to be placed on his children so he sends Thorin, Dis, Frerin, Fili, Kili, and the others that Thorin picked, which at this point would be the company minus the Urs since they are from Ered Luin. He just says they need to check in on their clan there but then the goblins happen.
Thorin has been entranced since the first letter. He remembered meeting a hobbit just the same way as described and how cute he was so he hopes that's the mysterious Bilbo. He reads bits out loud to his company when things are down, not about the lies but just things that Bilbo talks about happening, and about Lobelia. So literally everyone besides Thorin and Bilbo think this is a whirlwind romance soulmate love match. Of course they do end up actually loving each other.
