Pops out from the box I was sorting through. Oh, hello! Anonymous raccoon popping back in to check in. I see that tag …. very funny lol. I’m also very honored! Never thought I’d build myself a whole ask series with raccoon but I’m not complaining. They’re adorable funky fellas anyways too.
Now on to my response. I do really want to say first of all, please please do not feel pressured to respond or reveal personal information that may make you feel uncomfortable! Of course if this is a chance for you to vent/work through things etc, then disregard my words haha, and please continue! I just wanted to make that clear. Because I’m a firm believer that nobody owes anyone an explanation for anything especially for why you’re not updating! I’m not here to nudge and prod in a ‘why aren’t you updating way.’ I’m here to check in, offer support in any I can, and just be a raccoon offering empathy or holding spaces for thoughts. Any thoughts lol.
(Intermission - Is there a character ask limit? I might break it if so, so if necessary this will turn into a multi-post. Sorry! Haha.)
I’m really sorry to hear that so many aspects have been just a shitshow one after another. I’m really glad to hear your wife is doing better — and also hopefully your aunt? even if it’s no news type deal — because god health issues are genuinely horrible. So I’m really glad there’s improvement on that front even if things aren’t perfect, but I’m sending you optimism as well. It seems that both of you are doing for sure what is best for you and downsizing truly can do wonders sometimes for making sure energy remains with you and not on taking care of a big house when you already got no energy. I can only imagine that it might work in y’all’s favor too with having that chance to have more energy to dedicate to spending time together! I’m sorry though because I know that leaving a place you love is always rough. Fingers crossed for comfy apartments in the future!
Alas, the therapist situation resolved itself as you expected. I saw the comment previously on your post about most therapists being CBT adjacent and my god, yeah. I know that it’s actually common that CBT is just not the right method for folks. Therapy methods are so individual specific. It’s good to hear that your therapist at least wasn’t awful but sigh yeah, unfortunate. I’ll still hold out hope that maybe further down the line you find someone who can actually offer more help. But for now — im glad he was at least able to offer you a chance to briefly at least just rant. Screaming into the void is very healthy-
I WILL continue to hold out hope that you can take things easy — but since I can see that you unfortunately most likely won’t be able to — I’m instead going to hold out hope that things improve and that this barreling train of things piling up one after another has a stop soon so you can breathe at least even briefly.
(Intermission 2.0- there’s no limit?? I survived making this one answer??)
Take care of yourself as always and treat yourself if you have to chance to <3
Cherish is, Anonymous Raccoon 😉
Don't worry, I don't talk about my problems until I'm actually ready to do so, at least not publically. Which is why it took me over six months to mention the fact that my wife has been sick and that we'll be selling our house. That was something I needed to keep to myself and only discuss with my closest circle until I had processed and dealt with it as best as possible. I've had lots of practice in figuring out when I can talk to people and in what forums. And there are definitely things I would never mention here in such a public place, mainly because I've learned the hard way to keep my more vulnerable rants in more private spaces. But, when I feel ready, I'll share what I think might be relevant.
And while I know I don't owe people an explanation, it's still beneficial to at least say something. When people ask me why I'm not updating, it's a lot easier to link people to a Tumblr post that details the situation instead of vaguely trying to explain that I'm just not able to post right now. I have a tendency to become more curt and evasive when I feel like I can't explain why I behave the way I do, and so I probably come across as a lot more rude than I intend to. And, again, while I don't owe people anything, I don't like the thought of being rude to them, either.
So yeah. Don't worry about that! It's pretty difficult to make me do something I don't want to do 😆 And thank you for wanting to check in 💜
My aunt is doing better, yes! She'll be celebrating her 60th birthday real soon! So, under the circumstances, I'd say things worked out well 😊
Yeah, I'm going to miss the house, but it's definitely the right choice for us. I do prefer living in a house over an apartment, but this house is just too big. And it's not like I won't have a house later anyway, since I'm set to inherit the old family home on my dad's side. It's located on the island where my family has lived since the late 1800's and I love it so, so much. The house itself is from 1870.
That's taken from the church tower (yes, we have a church in our backyard — just roll with it) at 11 PM. Because the midnight sun doesn't fuck around where I live 😆
(Fun fact for my Who Holds the Devil readers: Whenever I write about Ga On's feelings on being in Yo Han's house — the calm, comfort, and longing — it's this house I'm describing. I'm drawing from my own experiences of what it feels like to have found the one place on earth that will always feel like home)
Anyhow! For now, I'll settle for buying an apartment — one that's closer to my office. Since I've noticed that one of the things that drains my energy is the commute. There's actually an apartment I'd love to buy but I can't yet because the bank won't give me the required loan until we've sold the house. So right now I'm just hoping that no one else will want it and that it'll remain on the market until I can place a bid on it. We'll see!
I'd also like to find a therapist that works for me, but it's somewhat complicated by the fact that not even I know what kind of therapist I need 😂 But yeah. This one did help during the few appointments we had, so that's something? And I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now? I'm still exhausted, sure, but it's easier to stay afloat when I know that better things are ahead, you know? And I'm looking forward to getting there, even if it won't be a painless journey.
So yeah. I don't think the barreling train is stopping quite yet, but I think it will sometime in the future? And that's what I'm clinging to right now. That and The Sentinel fanfics 😆
Congratulations on not breaking the character limit! 😉
And thank you again for checking in. I'm very humbled by the knowledge that people care this much about me.
You take care too 💜
