So the city has some hippy doctors.
I went in, hoping to get something for the moments that I’m not able to handle. It was disarming, but I also have a lot to say. I did walk out with an anti-depressant prescription, but that isn’t the significant thing.
What I’m learning, is that because of my mother’s death, and me seeking therapy, I’m having to evaluate her traumas in addition to my own. After her death, I’m less angry at her than I was in life, but I do feel so much sadder for her.
The therapists are explaining to me all the ways in which I’m not thriving. Laying it all out with their questions, and all I can think to myself is, she couldn’t have survived this life, it was a miracle she lived as long as she did.
I feel so sorry for her, but I also can't feel too sorry for her if I'm going to make it throuh this.
The lack of justice in the world, how can you handle it? Poisons the well and creates cycles of trauma that control generation after generation.