#things i won't write

[sp0o0kylights]

Steve, estranged from his parents, is set to inherit a fortune from the equally estranged grandfather he knows nothing about.

This will not only set him up for life, but will go a long way to helping the family he found, and he's ecstatic that he can finally put some of his family's enormous wealth to good use and pissing off his parents while doing it.)

Problem?

The guy was a huge fan of games, puzzles and riddles. The reading of his will isn't one, it's the introduction to one last game he requires Steve to play to inherit, elsewise the fortune goes somewhere undisclosed.

Enter: world champion Logic & Puzzle Master Eddie Munson, bored out of his fucking mind (and utterly failing at writing a mystery-horror novel.)

Dustin, a superfan of Eddie's, reaches out to him begging for help (and agreeing to give him reward money if he does so, a little fact he did not tell Steve) and Eddie agrees, thinking this is going to be a cake walk.

It isn't.

See, turns out, Steve's grandpa is actually Eddie's favorite mystery and tabletop game writer, and a world-class puzzle maker in his own right.

Eddie is losing his mind living out a dream come true, while Steve is rolling his eyes behind him the whole way.

(The twist is that while the inheritance was for Steve, the game was for Eddie, whom Steve's Gramps was well aware of, and the old sot managed to manipulate things so that no matter what route Steve and Co. went, Eddie would eventually get pulled into the game.

He wasn't expecting Eddie and Steve to fall in love along the way but had he watched the entire thing play out live, he would have been delighted by the surprise.)

As a bonus Robin, Nancy and Chrissy get pulled in to a side plot involving them Nancy Drewing a local true crime mystery involving Steve's grandpa's massive fucking house.

[linya333]

thinking again about how Sasuke is supposedly an incarnation of Indra the same as Madara, and that Naruto is supposedly an incarnation of Asura the same as Hashirama

So I really would love more stories that play with that fact. What if they are born with memories of their previous life? What if something happens to help them regain their memories at some point? Maybe in the forest of death? For extra fun we can include Karin as Tobirama's reincarnation, since she encountered Sasuke there in canon it wouldn't be hard to change things so she was present when the event occured.

And I'm lacking a fitting founding character for Sakura but it might be even better if it was someone random. Perhaps a distant member of her own family? Or an Uzumaki? The pink hair could be diluted redhead genes. I don't feel like Mito suits her, but maybe Touka? 🤔

Just would be very interesting to see what would happen here. There's so many possibilities.

Or even if they regained memories later? Perhaps when they meet again before Sasuke encounters Itachi and proceeds to go off the deep end?

[ylizam]

no, you’re watching 1981 General Hospital Ice Princess arc videos (Genie Francis was so young! just a bébé! also so good, obvs., like I’m just watching and sometimes I have to pause to reflect on how good she is and how from some angles she looks like her adult self and from others, wow, that’s a teenager), and you’re finding yourself thinking, “well, Luke/Laura/Robert has some potential. by which I mean the three of them should be making out all the time because the chemistry is definitely there and Laura’s hand is on your leg while she’s cuddling with Luke, Robert, just lean into it aren’t you a man of international mystery and spying and whatnot come on.”

[yikesharringrove]

hello!! i was just wondering if there is anything like au’s, kinks etc. that you really don’t vibe with so that myself or anyone else won’t make you uncomfortable by asking you to write about it. much love 💕

Honestly, there’s not a lot I WON’T write. Even if it’s not something I’m into as a human (like kinks and stuff) I’ll still write it, even if it icks me out a little. honestly, my hard lines are like hard lines.

I also want to say who I’ll write. I’m a Harringrove blog, first and fucking FOREMOST, but I love Stommy, Keg Boys, and Buckleway, and would be down as hell to write Stonathan and Stoncy. ( I LOVE Jonathan, but I have trouble writing Nancy. Just can’t find her voice really.)

I’ll put them under the cut bc I’m gonna talk about stuff people may want to avoid, plus she’s LONG

So, I WILL NOT write incest. That includes Billy/Max bc in my brain and how I like to write them is as brother and sister, that they’ve fixed their relationship, so yes. Which leads me to...

I won’t write for any of the kids in a sexual context. Most of the actors are minors, are that makes me feel yucky to think about writing these characters that way. When I’m writing a sex scene between Billy and Steve, in the show, yeah they are teens and that IS underage, but you’re thinking of characters played by ADULTS. Joe Keery is like, almost thirty. He’s a GROWN MAN. That’s why I won’t write the kids like that. This includes writing kid/teen like Billy/Max of Steve/Dustin and aged up, because it just makes me feel weird picturing these real life CHILDREN somehow aged up in sexual situations.

As far as content, I’m okay with most things, including triggering topics. I try my best to give proper tags and warnings, and if it’s something I DON’T have experience with, I do A LOT of research for my fics. I’ve also gone through some serious shit and use writing as an outlet for it, so I don’t mind writing heavy topics. Things that trigger me specifically, are like super weird things (ex: the song Dancing Queen. Yeah. I fucking know. Used to love that song and now I can’t fucking listen to it) so I have the emotional energy to write pretty dark stuff.

I hate Karen Wheeler and fully refuse to write Karen/Billy (outside of like, Karen hit on Billy and it was grsss!) that’s BIG YIKES to me and their scenes made me v uncomfy. I don’t think I could write Billy/Hopper or Steve/Hopper either, they need him as a father, not a daddy.

I won’t write Harringrove as abusive. These two mean the WORLD to me, and tbh they’ve both dealt with enough abuse. Sometimes I’ll see dark fics where one of them is going through something and becomes abusive towards the other in some way, and that’s just not my jam in a pretty big way. I love fluff and softness for these two because they deserve it, and that’s what I write. Most of my angst has happy endings too.

As far as kinks, that’s my hardest line. Like I said, most shit I will write. There’s a lot of kinks I don’t know much about, or would never be interested in trying myself, but I don’t mind researching it to write it. How I actually write kink is to find articles written by people who participate in and enjoy that kink so I can get more of an understanding of it, what it feels like, and why they participate in it/enjoy it, and then usually watch some porn of it. (which is SO FUNNY bc I’m watching like, hardcore kinky porn squinting at the screen with my glasses on figuring out how I’m gonna write and describe stuff lmao) so most kinks I’m fine with putting in the hours. With a lot of kink stuff I feel as long as everyone participating in it is consenting and in a safe environment, then go right ahead! So I’m not weirded or grossed out by much.

HOWEVER. Kinks I won’t write: -Shit. Usually I’m pretty live and let live, scat play is GROSS. Straight up. Full offense meant. Kink shaming is intentional. -Age regression during sex. I’m okay with writing Daddy Kink, and I wouldn’t mind putting in more research to write age regression outside of sex, but I DO NOT want to write something where they are actively pretending one of the participants is a child. That feels kinda questionable to me. Along with this is diapers and things like that in any context. From research I HAVE put into daddy kink, it’s not about actually pretending the dom is your father, it’s more about being taken care of. I am fine with all that, but to have the sub be pretending to be a child just makes something in me feel off when it is in a sexual context. Again, I’d be down to put in the research if you want to request someone who lives as a little or in a state of age regression and have the other person take care of them like a child. It would be pure fluff. I just wanted to make that VERY clear. -Blood in kissing. You’ll see in a lot of Harringrove when Billy has a split lip and they kiss Steve can taste the blood or something, that makes me feel REAL ick. HOWEVER, I’m a big dumb slut for vampires, and am good to write that, or gore, or even some murder boyfriends, it’s just when someone gets blood that’s not there’s in their mouth that’s pretty yikes for me. -Petplay is fine but I don’t want like, actually anthropomorphic

Honestly, I think that’s like, it? I was seriously thinking of kinks that like, personally I would NEVER want to try but like, I would write them. I don’t care. \

One thing you may or may not have noticed is that I don’t use the F-slur. I spent a lot of my life dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia. I identify as queer, (I always write Steve how I feel, where I fall in love with people above being sexually attracted to just like, a gender as a whole and personally, I can’t have sex without emotional intimacy, but that’s more of a trauma thing) I come from a really conservative place and struggled a lot with my sexuality and thought because I do like guys and have feelings for guys, I’m just straight and pushed down all of my other feelings for people of other genders away. It was actually really recently, after I went to college in a liberal city and met all different kinds of queer people I realized that 1. I have had feelings for LOTS of different people throughout my life (I was deeply in love with my best friend in high school in a SUPER gay way and just kept pretending I wasn’t lol) and 2. I don’t have to label myself if I don’t feel comfortable with that. So I call myself queer. Because I considered myself straight, literally until I was like, nineteen, I always thought of the F-slur as the same way I do the N-slur. I believe the word can be reclaimed by people in the groups it was used to dehumanize, but since I felt I WASN’T part of the LGBT+ community, I never used it. Even now that I have accepted that part of myself, the word just still feels very wrong for me to use. I don’t mind reading it, and it’s used really often in Harringrove fics bc Neil LITERALLY says it in canon, but I just can’t bring myself to type it out, so I just don’t. That’s a SUPER weird side note, but that’s why you may see in stuff I’ll skirt around Neil or Billy saying it.

So basically, I’m comfortable writing most things. Sometimes, requests may take longer because I NEED to put more thought into it, or more research or I want to get it right, for example the one I just posted with nb Steve and trans Billy, I did a lot of research and read a lot of things written by trans and nb people about their experiences and feelings, etc. as I’m a cis person and didn’t want it to be insensitive or fetishy or just straight up BAD. But I LOVE writing so FUCKING much, I will put in the time and do research to see your head canons and thoughts come to life.

One thing that takes me FOREVER is historical type prompts. I’m BAD at history, like remembering stuff in general, so while I LOVE to take prompts set in different time periods, please know it’ll take me a thousand years to fill.

If you read all this, thank you, and I’m sorry for going on weird tangents about stuff, I’m kinda weird and my brain doesn’t move in one direction lol. Please keep putting in requests and letting me into your ideas! I love it!

[nothingelsematterswrites]

What are your hard limits when it comes to writing smut? Asking so that me and other fans won’t make you uncomfortable with requests!

Oh, you’re so sweet! That’s so considerate!

I won’t write non-con. No age play, sexual or otherwise, and definitely no daddy kink. The only bodily functions I want to write about when they’re having sex are the ones actually related to sex.

I also don’t like actual hurting. Sure, Brian might whip Roger with his guitar strap, but he’s not going to make Roger bleed or actually hurt him.

(Honestly, I’m not all that adventurous. I probably won’t go too extreme.)

[ylizam]

How about 3, 17, and 25 for the writer meme!

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

The thing is I know there are about a million of them? And yet—

Okay, here's something from the post-GOT (show only) Brienne/Sansa post-canon epic about love after loss and pain and survival and acceptance of self and all that exciting fun stuff you just know I love. Never to be actually written because it would require figuring out things like: why is Brienne back in the North? What is happening with Tarth? What about heirs (for both of them)? Is there a guy character who can be a husband/baby!daddy/partner/etc. (probably someone chill who has other partners and doesn't live with them full-time)? What is going on with Bran? Can I halfass a Northern queer tradition type thing or does Sansa have to decree it or does Bran see it or or or—

Anyway. It keeps the terrible canon ending because why make things easier on myself (and this is one of those “write what you want to read in the world” situations), which means Jaime's dead and Sansa's Queen of the North and Brienne somehow has to unbecome Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. (Also Brienne and Jaime did bang, and she did love him, and that’s part of the whole learning to love again thing it would dig into, especially for someone who felt herself undeserving of love to begin with, let alone a second time.) So plot. Or background. Or something. Blah blah blah, here's the snippet:

Return to Tarth. Marry whomever will take her; mother an heir, a spare, children enough to survive. You deserve—and here Brienne's imagination runs dry. 

She is likely barren. She knows this to be true—for how many nights did she lay with Jaime and still her moon blood flowed as usual? (Neither of them particularly careful, both of them greedy with desire, with victory, with love. And the stores of moon tea low enough she'd not thought herself worthy.) Outside the wind is fierce. Biting, even in spring.

Brienne dresses: tunic, breeches, clean and soft and she'll never again take clean clothes and soft fabrics for granted. Press a finger against the bruise on your right thigh, remember what pain feels like. What life feels like—a battle between grief and blood, cracked bones and open wounds and blood everywhere.

She brushes her hair. Cleans her teeth. 

She finds herself stalling for time. Chides herself for it: she is not a craven. A deep breath, a silent recitation of oaths upon oaths upon oaths, and she straightens her shoulders. Stands as tall as she is. Walks out to meet her Queen.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I don't know? I mean, probably—death of the author and all that—but how, exactly, I can't put my finger on. As for what would surprise my readers about my writing / motivations? It's no surprise that I am very slow, and very prone to feast or famine, nor do I think it's a surprise that I'm in it for character first, plot very much not my bag. My (non-exchange, because that's different) motivations are just to get words out and to express what I feel about a character or relationship, to try to work out what makes them tick, to play around with voice. I did for a stretch try to write more "commercial" fic, if that makes sense, trying to adopt to the norms of whatever fandom I was writing in an out of character bid for a touch more popularity? But it didn't really work for me, and it turns out I'm fine with my little stories with their mostly small readerships. I'm crap at answering comments at any rate—I mean to, but need to figure out what to say. And then the comments themselves lose permanence the second I look away. (Eventually I answer a bunch in one go, largely with a thank you and not much else. Which doesn't mean I don't cherish every one, doesn't mean they don't mean so much. But! My brain!)

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

hahahaha, fun? 

Honestly, I don’t think of writing as fun, per se. Parts of it are fun—digging into a character especially, rooting around in their thoughts and motivations and feelings and everything—but writing itself? Not so much.

So yeah, words are fun. Fixing things, moving a sentence, changing the punctuation to make it flow differently. Dialogue when you're really feeling a character, you know, when you're just there and in the groove? Ditto when you're in a tight POV and it clicks. But mostly it’s one letter after the other. It’s digging in. It’s everything that strings together those moments of—and I’m still not sure “fun” is the right term for it, but it’s what I have at the moment—fun.

[ask me more fun meta asks, and I will answer within 2-10 business days!]

[nothingelsematterswrites]

Teacher!Brian x Student!Roger role-playing. (Bonus: Roger is in drag 👌)

I’m so sorry, my brain just won’t do it. Teacher/student squicks me a little.

[nothingelsematterswrites]

Would you ever write anything to do with watersports/piss kink??

No, sorry.