What are your thoughts on Sirius and Remus openness about their sexual orientation, given the time and all? How old are they when they come out? Are they open to just the closest cirkle or do they show their love to the world? Do they agree or is this an area of conflict between them?
I love this ask! Whoa, okay, buckle in because this response is going to be long and include extended headcanon....
Sirius
My headcanon for this is that Sirius is bisexual. He has always been comfortable with sex, and could be described as bi-curious from his early teens, although it takes him until his late teens and post-Hogwarts to explore his sexuality in regards to men.
He never comes "out" in the sense that he makes an announcement, although this doesn't come from a place of shame rather a pathological dislike of explaining himself to others. He doesn't hide it, but he does tend to keep his personal life very separate from his friendships.
James has always known and, by extension, Lily. Those around him in the Order also know or at least suspect. In regards to his family I've always headcanoned that the Blacks wouldn't care and would have much more of a problem with Sirius' political opinions, his friends and being a Gryffindor than him being interested in men. Also in my headcanon the wizarding world is broadly more tolerant than it's Muggle counterpoint on things like this - and is analogous to the tacit acceptance of adolescent homosexuality as a result of the boarding school system prevalent in the upper classes in British society historically (more can be found out about this here).
Remus and more below the cut...
Remus
My headcanon for Remus is he really struggles with his sexuality. My Remus is demisexual and really struggles as a result of this, and has no clear conception of his orientation particularly as a teen. Much of this is due to his difficulty in experiencing sexual attraction as others seem to, which is a particular point of stress whilst he is a teenager. He also tries to persue romantic relationships with girls exclusively during his teenage years which never feels to him to be a natural fit. This is compounded by the intensity of his feelings for Sirius towards the end of their school days together and he struggles to understand what this means and represses this.
Much of Remus' attitudes and fears about his sexuality are compounded by both his experience of the Muggle world which is more intolerant, and his experience of his lycanthropy. Remus knows what it is like to marginalised, to be stigmatised and feared, and struggles to accept that he would be both a werewolf and be attracted to men. He also worries about intimacy, particularly sexual intimacy with others, as he doesn't trust himself easily as he fears "letting go" as a consequence of his lycanthropy. His internalised self-hatred in my mind really does run deep.
The only people in my headcanon who have a strong sense of Remus' struggles are in this regard are his mum and Lily. It is a great regret of Remus' that he was never able to talk to his mum about this before she died.
It takes Remus until his 30s, and until Sirius returns from Azkaban, to really accept his sexuality.
Does this drive conflict between Remus and Sirius?
One of the central drivers of the conflict and angst between Remus and Sirius in my work is the mis-match and tension between their feelings and attitudes towards their sexuality on an individual level, and what it means in terms of their relationship with each other.
Sirius recognises his feelings for Remus for what they are from very early on. But he does not feel Remus feels the same, and does not want to risk their friendship by expressing it in a way that he suspects his friend would reject or feel uncomfortable with. Plus, Remus' outward behaviour leads Sirius to believe he is straight.
Remus is afraid of his feelings for Sirius and does not want to be any more different than he already feels as a result of his lycanpthropy. Not only does he struggle to accept his demisexuality and same-sex attraction, but he would never in a million years feel that *the* Sirius Black would ever feel that way for him.
This tension grows and comes to a head post Hogwarts and the First War, and is a driving force behind the distance, mistrust and complete breakdown in their relationship to the point they suspect one another of being the spy.
When they are older, and post-Azkaban, things are very different. If you want to know why someone drop me an ask for part 2 of my TED Talk as I could go on about this forever! 💜
Doggy Style for shur is on the list ‘cause mans gonna be spanking dat ass while pulling your hair and all that rough shit
Reverse Cowgirl boy oh boyyyy you might as well put on a seatbelt because he’s gonna thrust into you so hard and fast that he might send you flying away into outer space. Plus, he’s gonna be reaching around to rub your clit so uhh say hello to Jesus for me when he sends you to heaven 😌
I don’t know what it’s called but he’s gonna spoon-fuck you??? LMAO your back against his chest while a hand wraps around your throat or gripping your tits keeping you in place while his other hand would hold your thigh open as he fucks into you from behind kinda like how Manuel Ferrara fucks (search him up, he does this position often 👀👀👀)
I don't know if you got any comments on this yet, but I love your "I say who I say I am" render. I somewhat feel a connection to it as I am nonbinary and have struggled with my gender identity. That post basically sums up my feelings about gender. I used to be so persistent on "choosing my gender" until I just accepted the term nonbinary. I am now more comfortable in who I am. All I'm trying to say is the render is meaningful to me.
It’s something I feel very strongly about. I’ve been struggling with my gender for as long as I could remember, and if I were to be honest I’m still not 100% sure what I identify as. But I realized how forcing myself to choose will only make things even more confusing than it already is. I’m just tired of the generalization and stereotyping. I think it’s important to remind people from time to time that the only one who can say who we are is ourselves.
I just finished your new chapter and like, omfg I forget how much I love your writing. Like I think ill just reread all your fics tonight, I love them so much omfg. Like you know these characters so fuck well. I hope you have a wonder night you are amazing <3
hey. HEY. how dare you come into my inbox while i'm feeling low and crappy about my writing and make me feel things. i wanted to wallow in my self pity but NOO you came in here and made me actually feel like a GOOD WRITER i'm just. anon. i'm mad @ u.
I have a hc that after alec becomes immortal and they’ve spent a couple hundred years together malec’s relationship is kinda similar to nicky and joes in that they don’t NEED to constantly be glued to each other, but some days they’re kinda like “babe can you like hold me for a week” and the other just happily does it because they’re SECURE and comfy and it’s just really wholesome and then they go off on little adventures with new friends and tell each other all excitedly and it’s sweet aaaaaa
absolutely!! wholeheartedly agree! i’m not a fan of the whole “glued to each other” couple trope as a whole, at least not when it’s like... idk like it’s not a choice? or like it sacrifices their individuality? like idk not to be a whore about that still but i love luke/alaric and they do have “always together” vibes (since they like work together and are on the same pack and live together and alaric is his second-in-command and lmao) but they don’t feel like they need to always be together, you know? it feels like it’s a comfortable thing where they’re always on each other’s corner, and they can be like, in the same room and doing their own thing. just that nice casual companionship? yeah
like i know that magnus and alec are the most intense bitches in the realm (for good reason too tbh) but i love couples where the love is just steady and casual more than anything which is also why i stan maiaphael. lêx stop being a whore at all times challenge and i do genuinely believe that like... over time, as they settle more into their relationship, they can breathe more easily, you know?
like they’re still very devoted to each other and love each other as fiercely as ever, but they don’t feel that need of constant... reinforcing that, i suppose? like in the show they’re in the initial stages of their relationship, it’s alec’s first relationship ever (that he never thought he’d get) and magnus’ first relationship in a long time + after an abusive one, so it’s just, exhilarating? for the both of them. like i get to have this, i get to have this, i get to have this, and they want to hold unto it as tightly as possible and spend every waking moment together lmao
but as time goes by they start to get... used to it. not in a dulling way, but in a “this is clearly not going anywhere” way. and they’re still together, still on each other’s corner, still understand each other easily... like nicky and joe, like you said. like they sleep together like it’s second nature and they fight like a team and they work together and when they wake up from the dream with nile and joe immediately starts sketching that’s just natural for nicky and he talks and leave him be. it just feels like it’s casual and they’re comfortable around each other you know? yeah :’)
and like god i’d love to see that for malec. we got to see that happening a little bit, that comfort building, them starting to form a routine, but like... idk i think about scenes like that? like magnus and alec are talking and magnus suddenly has an idea and he’s like ! and he just gets up and gets his notebook and starts scribbling? and he doesn’t say anything because he’s hyperfocused rn and alec already knows this is how he rolls, so he just kind of shrugs and starts doing his own thing? and then later magnus automatically shows him what he was working on and explains it to him and alec is genuinely so interested and thinks it’s great? yeah
but also YES on that the fact that they have such a casual comfort in each other means that they are each other’s homes and it’s just... they recharge each other’s batteries just by being there. and yeah absolutely sometimes it’s just like “i am so fucking sick of everything, babe hold this *flops on their lap*” and just as easily they also put off what they were doing and hold each other and they’re silent and that’s alright, they’re just feeling each other’s warmth and scent and recharging their batteries? you know? just aaaaaa
and dusdaidshaiuhdsa yes them coming back and being that couple who genuinely talks about each other’s days in detail and explain their hobbies that the other isn’t really into to each other but it’s genuinely good and not boring? like idk i have this friend and we’re always inevitably on completely different fandoms of things that the other hasn’t watched, no exceptions, but every time we meet up we talk to each other about our current hyperfixations and it’s always super fun? and then we proceed to not watch the thing the other is interested in and it’s alright, because talking to each other about it there’s still that connection? yeah. i figure that’s kinda how it feels when magnus talks about his research or studies or alec goes on about whatever project he’s currently working on, and stuff like that
i just aaa i love deeply used to each other and comfortable with each other malec okay
we must stop treating tallness as Good. is it not enough to be small, fit into anybody's arms perfectly, and be friend shaped? start bullying tall people 2020 -- a fellow small :')
RAHUL I LOVE THIS!!! All the facts right here - being small is perfect who needs tall honestly we’re pocket size and snuggable what more could anyone want??
i think maybe i love chanhee more than my tbz bias??? what do i do??
i see you have a very valid concern anon :o !
at this point i have to regretfully inform you there is no way out once you fall for chanhee... your choices are unfortunately limited... i suggest double biasing, that might be ... the only solution T^T ... for your well-being
(here have a cute chanhee gif to resolidfy your love for him :D)
