#this character is everything

[jbaileyedits]

Jonathan Bailey as the very precious Tim Laughlin in the 80's, in Fellow Travelers.

[awu-wangxuan]

joy of life - xin qiwu, minister in the honglu temple

[lbq2]

Lena doesn’t hate being a Luthor… she hates herself.

There aren’t distinct parts she hates. It’s not that she’s too this, or too that, or in excess of anything undesirable; no, she’s worked very hard to be the person she wants to be - to be capable of the things she wants to do. But there’s something she needs that she can’t work on.

She needs love, family, understanding, warmth, acceptance, affection, affirmation. And she’s willing to earn it but it’s eternally disheartening because that’s not something people normally have to earn. They just have it. And for some reason she doesn’t… she’s never had it. So she blames herself.

It’s not logical to do so. She knows that she’s done her part right. But something hasn’t clicked.

Lena’s been orphaned twice. She lost her mother. Then she was adopted and lost her father, her sibling, and her mother once again. Despite the abandonment and the loss she’ll keep working hard, doing everything she can to be a decent human in pursuit of being worthy, to be someone that won’t be discarded.

While dedicating herself to this life of service, this noble distraction that ultimately still leaves her feeling empty, her name punctuates every step of the way. And it feels like justification. She’s a Luthor, so this is the best she can have in life. She’s condemned by her blood, she can’t have any better.

Yet…

Lena will always try, try with the thought of her deceased mother in mind, with Lionel, Lex and Lillian too. She’ll even try with the vague thought of someone who could change everything for her. She’ll do her best. She’ll do good. That has to lead to something right? There’s got to be something after all of this…

But really, she doesn’t believe anything will change. She wants to hope but hope has never gotten her anywhere. She’s always been right when deep down she knows her efforts won’t lead to anything. She hates being right. She longs to be wrong.

The name Luthor is the summation of everything integral that must be wrong with her for her to be stuck with this life.

“Is it because I’m a Luthor?”

She can hate it but she can’t change it.

She’ll always be a Luthor.

[clobeast]

I have 99 problems and all of them are Rick Sanchez